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Duckilips8
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Name: Traci Linn Marie
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: grapevine
Birthday: 2/2/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: writing, reading, writing some more, finding love, school, my kitty
Expertise: Sarcasm, being a Smart Ass, having a smart mouth, Talking, expressing my opinion, standing on my soap box, reading, writing
Message: message me
AIM:  BgrBtrINTx
Member Since:
4/3/2005
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| Ashley RoseSo in trying to stay true to the Ashley/Traci/Daniel state of mind (or
at least prefered mind) I am incredibly high writing this...
The night Ashley and I became friends:
We went out...not to eat though because Ashley HATES going out to
eat...whatever we were doing it was dark out and as we were driving
home..there was like 30 minutes of back to back Billy Joel
playing...and my favorite song and her favorite song played back to
back..as we drove towards Hennessey just enjoying the tunes....
We became freakishly close...freakishly fast. We had something intense
in common, and we were feeling so isoltaed from home...and
ourselves...we had shared Preston and were now ...just close
friends...but her being kicked out of her dorm was just crazy (by the
way..anyone want to come forward and confess who ratted us out??) that
day we rolled our asses off at Tyler's house...with Corrie! and Daniel!
We all moved in together within days...well Corrie, Ash and I did and
then ...yes I vividly remember when Dan asked out Ashley...and then he
moved in.
I loved living with them, times were so hard but I was loved, and taken care of...and I learned so much...so so so much.
I miss her...lots. And now shes a new momma and I am a god momma and daniel is gonna be a DADDY!
lovin yall everyday
traci n puss
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| Time~it kicks us in the assMain Entry: spite·ful 
Pronunciation: 'spIt-f&l
Function: adjective
: filled with or showing spite : MALICIOUS
- spite·ful·ly /-f&-lE/ adverb
- spite·ful·ness noun I also found a 'result' that read Spiteful:Definition:Bitch Spiteful..ness...is that wonderful time when you feel the need to remind someone that your hurt, and hurting, and empty inside because of that other person. Its subtle, and intentional and meant to get a reaction without seeming to. Its what one does to keep a constant reminder that something HAS happened, that you are still FEELING that something..and hopefully..if you do it right..you will get what you want. Not always meant to be overtly hurtful..just a prick, a reminder that..well...they fucked up. And it hurts, dammit..and...yeah..Spiteful..its a weapon of mass destruction...a kick ass one. hmmm...Spiteful anyone? I think we are all good at the game...but Velvet and I- we are the experts. I think within the last two weeks...I have been the Princess of Spiteful...and Velvet (now that Ace is back) she, is the Queen. I moved out of our apartment because of the deadly sin of jealousy..but after a few days...I was back. We decided I will live there until Ace comes to visit..because for the next nine months he will be living in San Antonio and just coming to visit. It was funny because...we really cant go without seeing each other (vel and i) in the two days that I wasnt speaking to her...we went a little nuts..and the day I came to get a few things was comical to say the least. I walked in and we ignored each other whilest I packed..and then while she was making dinner she couldnt resist telling me she found a 'Air Supply' tape..so as we are walking down to her car (with a tape deck) she was like 'we live in the ghetto' and I turned and said 'uh...you live in the ghetto..I dont live here anymore, remember?" (oooooohhhhh spiteful) The look on her face went from laughing to crushed~but I got my point across. Continously the past week I have done nothing but remind her and remind her and have been acting like our whole friendship/familyship has changed because of it. THE 1st NIGHT I SPENT THE NIGHT..again... : I was hanging out with her..and we took Gage to this skate place..when we got back we stayed up till 3 or 4 in the morning. Just talking and daydreaming and trying to lick our wounds...she told me I could stay whenever..and around 4 is when we decided the living arrangement game plan. We are sitting on her bed talking about how we dont like to sleep alone..it doesnt matter who is next to us (Lauren McDonald, Ashley, Lizz..they will alll understand this about me) and next thing you know Vel says 'lets go to bed' so I grab a pillow and say night vel, and head off..and she says 'where are you going' I said couch..and her voice got sad, low etc etc and all she said was 'oh'...after ten minutes on the couch I ran full tilt and jumped on her bed...saying something about the couch smelling...and scootch over. mwahaha. The Queen: Since she isnt here to type..it shall be a short over view...pretty much she is constantly reminding Ace that this is her apartment, her room, her bed, her bathroom...and is introducing him as 'baby's daddy' instead of boyfriend...and oh yeah...she is playin him like a second hand fiddle. I am OH SO PROUD! | | |
| Whenever I call you FRIEND | I am so freaking frustrated, and I need to write...so I deleted everyone off my prefered list except Velvet, Cilny, and Amara...cuz they are family. NO ONE else can read this, of this I am sure. As my dear friend Lizz once wrote in her rant about money: DONT MISTAKE BEING PENSIVE FOR ANGER Here is how it works in this little world of mine...my friends have always been treated the way one would treat family. They have always been all I have got- now dont take that wrong...they arent lacking a damn thing. My friends are amazing...but I have always seeked out family. And for one reason or another, and no I dont have to justify or explain this to anyone, I consider Velvet and Cilny and their broods-FAMILY. I dont need an exact place...I dont need a label-its just the feeling. That above certain people are my family and friends. I.E. if Joe Somebody was mean to anyone I love-thats it they are OUT! No questions asked. I hated Velvet the moment she made Nicole cry. I got over it bc she wasnt trying to be malicious and sometimes with Nic, she is a little too sensitive. That said, I am having the hardest time playing nicely with the people hurting the friends/family I love. I wrote this to Krissinda: If you get on someone elses myspace then you are breaking your fast....and what happened to you being a christian? getting on ace's myspace, changing stuff, deleting stuff...thats not very christian of you. Man, when you put yourself out there like that...with scriptures, and thanking god (this is on your myspace of course) then you should live it and not be some hypocrite. I dont believe in God, Velvet and Ace are trying to teach me about it. Then there are people like you..that make me want to run the other way.
Get real with yourself, get your head out of the sand and be a good person. Geez. I didnt send it though, mostly bc I dont want to fuck with Velvet and Ace, but goddamn it I want to give that woman a piece of my mind. I am also furious with Ace..no, I dont hate him bc I still know he loves Velvet, I still have this feeling I get...that knowingness. You know, every one has some magic to them..mine has always been throwing myself 100% outthere for those I love or those I know who are 'good'. I forgot about that until this morning, when I dreamed Velvet called me 'good girl' to some body in my dream. She use to always call me that. I am so pissed she is hurting...and has so much on her plate..and yet keeps giving. WTF cut her a break she is such a good person. fuck! Cilny: I am officially taking Amara off my prefered list bc I forgot I wanted to bitch about Chris. Anyways...None of this should be happening. This kind of pain and cruelty, that mind fucking stuff- shouldnt be happening. Trust that you are such a powerful, wonderful person that this too shall pass. I believe all this, yall. Fully and completely. Ignore what he is saying and focus on winning. Thats what I did when Dad pulled mind shit on me...start figuring out how he is doing what he is doing, and know that Velvet and I are fighting for you too and we are two hell bent girls willing to do whatever to help you. The Ya Yas, sticking together. This is just a hard time. Grand scheme: this is such a tiny blip in our lives...and we are learning so much. It doesnt always have to be good stuff to learn, this is stuff that will make us stronger...even if we dont want to be. Let this sink in. For us: we just need peace of mind...isnt it funny? I usually spell it piece...bc I thought that if this one part of your mind always had understanding...then things would click. Thats not what I am talking about though, I am talking about calm, tranquil moments. Patty use to push her forehead onto mine and just breathe..when I was upset or hysterical ( i think she has a little bohemian in her; Patty is also Cody's momma) and it was calming...and I cant claim why..but that feeling we need to capture it. And dont be mad, like I was at the beginning of this rant. Solenance in each other, and your kids, and finding something good in every moment with your men, knowing everything will work out...that doesnt mean sticking with Chris, or that the fairy tale will be exactly what you imagined...it means that what you need and even what you want: will be given to you. I love you, girls ~the catalyst |
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| Prayers and LightI am sorry Lizz, but I called Lyndsey...I only left a message though. I called cuz we (the dehoyos,flores,farmer,williams commune) need all the prayers and light and guidance that anyone reading this can muster! Lyndsey is the person I know who is closest to God...not like almost is God, I mean has the best relationship (that I know of) with Him. I cant go into details on whats up. Its way toooooo long,complicated, and isnt just mine to tell. Still though, light and prayers-please. | | |
| Life is Sweet"This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body...." -Walt Whitman I havent been on xanga in so long I almost couldnt make a entry I was soooo confused by the new 'technology' I need guidance. and understanding. Things are making a turn for the worst and its killing me Communication is the key to everything And when you dont communicate...things get misconstrued God help us all
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