Well ... it's been a long time since I've written .... I went to Mississippi for Spring Break, to visit with my family, and to see my southern friends! I loved it, had tons of fun, but I missed my northern friends! A LOT! I wish everything could be the way I needed it to be .... welll ..... I'm not sure what I am supposed to say, except I miss old loves and I love the one I have now but .... Am I supposed to be where I am right now? Am I supposed to wake up every morning? I mean ... I guess this is just me being paranoid, but maybe .... I dunno, I'm kinda lost right now .... mixed feelings toward paul ......... I'm lost

Goodnight

... this sucks ... I have never wanted something so badly (if paul thinks he'll know what I'm talking about it) it is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!

Anyways .... lifes been pretty good so far ... how about yours? Lost some contact with some friends but made new ones ... hopefully everything will work out ... anyways ... I gotta go pee .... xoxox

AHHHH!!!!!!!! I am totally sick of being sick! I threw up ... i dunno how many times since last night! This sucks! I dunno if its cause of a new medicine i'm taking or food poisoning or stomach flu or what, but I am sick of being sick! ... Paul is up north with his family right now, hes up there until Sunday ...  I miss him already and he left today .... stupid i know ... I just miss talking to him, but in some way i can't help but think .... maybe this is his escape from me ....
Anyways .... I am trying this new thing, and what i do is call everyone from my past and try to reconnect or end things properly ... I started with Ben ... that was a mistake, we just ended up fighting and hanging up on eachother ... way to go for reconnecting and ending things properly ... ha! But i am kinda happy I guess in a way .... weird ... I know ...
Izzy's birthday is the 4th ... and ... uhhh, yeah, well I am about to lay down and try to get some sleep ... and not get interupted with puking ... well I love y'alls

xoxo

okay, I was having ab ad day with the whole paul thing and I TOTALLY admit that i SOOOOOo overreacted! and I pray he forgives me! i love him! I think it's more that we just have to spend more time together then talking on the phone because on the phone i can pick fights and i mean i can do that in person but am less likely too ... because ... i dunno.

Anyways, today wasn't too eventful ... well it was but I am so not going into details ...

Last night though .... was AWESOME!!!!!!! I went over the Paul's so we could work things out, and we ended up watching Forrest Gump (we both love that movie!). And we got to stay in his room, uninterupted .... we besides the interuptions from Shaun (his little brother, hes 2 and totally adorable). But for the most part ... i wish I could do that more often lol. Anyways ... I hope that .... I dunno, but I'm out! I am totally tired! xoxox