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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| TimingIt's too intricate to be coincidental. My intrigue is peaked. | | |
| Tired. So very tired. Not because of anything new, but the strain of months of swimming upstream, fighting the current, chasing the upperclassmen, and always trying to beat the clock. Everything I learned about life, I learned from high school swim team. Haha. Not completely true, but it's catchy. Oh how I miss the rhythm of swimming. The satisfaction of complete exhaustion every single practice. Without fail. Swimming laps looks boring, but when you are always sprinting after those furiously kicking feet in front of you, and the adrenaline of tapping them, which causes the swimmer in front to stop and let you pass, which makes you have to haul a** to catch the swimmer in front of them. It's awesome. It's alot like life. There's no end. There's always harder, better, faster, stronger. Being this tired makes me need to go running. Town Lake is beautiful around 5 pm. "Miss Lee, MISS LEE! Hello......" I have one student in here typing a book report and one writing paragraphs 50 times for misbehavior. I am ignoring the hoodlum who is getting very frustrated by my lack of attention. I am smiling on the inside. The things kids will do for attention. Ahhh.... silence as he gives up. I am taking Thursday off. Even competitive swimmers taper. Excited about Wednesday night. Finally, a reward for myself. You'd think physical exhaustion is the worst, but this exhaustion..... psychological? emotional? This is worse. This is the most tired I have been. Now, I'll need to do tutorials and go run the tired off. I'm a teacher afterall; we don't have time for weakness. | | |
| Heart Big Enough for the WorldIt was the catchy slogan of a missions forum I attended during a retreat many years back. I think I was in middle school. I'm pretty sure I prayed for God to give it to me. I couldn't possibly have known what I was asking for.
This year I've realized how hard it is to love even a small fraction of a percent of the population in my own town. They come into your life, grab your heart, and refuse to let go. Truly loving people who are not cared for by their loved ones. Truly loving stubborn and strong-willed individuals with huge personalities. Truly loving people with beautiful dreams and no means of fulfilling them. I want to fix all their hurts and compensate for all the shortcomings in their situations. I want to shake them into overcoming the odds against them. I want to walk with them through their journey and make sure they have every opportunity, not just the few they know about.
But I can't.
And it hurts.
The problem with truly loving someone is the intensity of it. Can't stop thinking about them. How to help them. Make them smile. Secure their future by enriching their present. To heal their past To listen. And everything they say in those passing glimpses into their hearts and lives. Those just tie me closer by another strand.
Hard because they took my heart by storm and won't give it back. And I know time is short. And loving them is exhausting. And all I can do is love them more.
And recent inklings hint that God answers prayer.
Hijole.......
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| without love
life is like the seasons with
no summer
Thank God Almighty for creating rest, even when he didn't need it. Thank God that winter break is only 3.5 school days away.
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| JumblesXanga is dying, but there are a couple people holding out. Just now I had the thought that two of them would be perfect for each other. I blame either the wedding invitations or the middle school. Or both.
Strange the things that make me happy. An ornament that a kid made for me. A kid who refuses to go to school, but that's another story. Strange the things that upset me, but I'm not going into that at all.
Poor hair. When I get bored, I either cut it myself, or fry it with some coloring. I'm very bored.
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