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| All of my old ana friends are gone. I hope that they are happy with their bodies, wherever they are.
I was skimming through ana blog rings today, and I discovered there are hardly any 20-something anas; only teenagers. I suppose that by the time you reach your mid-20s, you're supposed to get over it, gain self-confidence and love yourself or something. Or everyone got skinny by the time they graduated college.
I finally broke and went to the dentist after not having gone for three or so years. I hadn't gone because my health insurance coverage under my mom had ended, and I was concerned with the possibility of the dentist accusing me of being bulimic. He didn't say anything about that; however, I have nine cavities from all of that stomach acid that came up with my vomit.
My boyfriend of over two years asked me to marry him. I accepted. All of my married friends were so tiny by their wedding days. I've got to get skinny again. I know I can get back to my inner thin self.
Bitching about being fat isn't going to do it though.
I need to be positive, return to calorie restriction and use thinspiration.
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
CW: 130 lbs.
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| I want sugar, eggs, butter, flour. I want cookies, cakes, chips, fat. Junk, junk, junk.
*crying*
I'm such a fat cow.
My teeth are going to fall out one of these days. Damn the pre-menstration bloating. Damn the bulimia. Damn the binge eating. Damn the hunger. Damn the rolls that hang over the waist of my pants. I'm disgusting.
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| I haven't written in forever, and I've gotten fatter and fatter.
Does anyone know what happened to AnaCouture?
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| Calorie count:
2 cups sticky rice: 340
150 g roasted chestnuts: 375
4 cups diced papaya: 200
2 serving fiber cereal: 180
1 serving Goldfish crackers: 140
Sugarfree candies: 60
Chocolates: 180
1 avocado: 276
RMR: 1746
Exercise: 500
Total: -495 calories
The hungry part was managable today. The weakness part was overwhelming. It's tiring just lifting my arm. I have no energy, and when I think I'm just going to feed myself a little to keep me from passing out, I binge. I have no sense of self control once I give in. Portion size. I need to manage that better. No binging. The number seem a little bit much, but I did purge some of it. My metabolism sucks.
CW: 130 lbs.
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| Calorie count:
1/2 c oatmeal with Sweet & Low: 150 calories
1 piece almond bark: 100 calories
3 servings high fiber cereal: 270 calories
1 box yogurt raisins: 140 calories
2 servings apple butternut squash soup: 180 calories
Total: 840 calories
RMR: 1746
Exercise: 900
Net: -1806 calories
It's getting easier today.
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