so yeah. today i was thinking at about 4 o'clock, while i was taking the trash to the bottom of the hill, i thought about heston and mel, and trav, and derek. i was thinking about how much i miss them. and i got really depressed. and underneath the good mood i've had all day, i have been really upset. i miss them so much. actually, yesterday when i took connor home, i turned onto cemetary road and i was thinking about the field. i think i might visit it soon. i know that i'm going to go there on May 23. i will definitely be there around 6 o'clock at night. i miss them a lot. i'm actually starting to cry as i'm typing up this entry. i still pray for them on a weekly basis. i love them so much and i wish they were here, but i know that i'll see them again someday. i can't listen to the new george strait or kenny chesney songs. both of them make me think about all of them and i cry every time. i'm not ashamed to admit it. i just want my friends back. but i know it wont happen. i just hope that we wont lose someone this year.