EffinGross's Xanga

DONT WORRY ITS JUST ANOTHER SAD BLOG

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 14:46:58 GMT

Don't degrade yourself the way I do

because you don't depend on all the shit that I use

to makemy moods improve.

Near a sea of pianos,

there were waves of chords that crashed against the
shore in one huge and useless roar.

And there were girls bringing water, like a dream they
came to cure the fever of my brain,

and soothe my burning throat.

And they made me a
necklace, hanging beads of sweat on a string of my regrets, and placed it round my neck and
they were singing, Don't you do what you've wanted to. Yeah, don't destroy yourself like those
cowards do and maybe the sun keeps coming up because it has gotten used to you and your
constant need for proof.

i have nothing good to say. im burned out, im drunk, i just woke up, and i have nothing to look forward to for the rest of the day. NO FUCK THAT i have nothing to look forward to until august. You know what it feels like? You know how it is to have nothing after youve just lost the world? Do you even give a damn? Ill fight like hell to hide that im giving up.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 16:56:06 GMT

But me

I'm a single cell On a serpents tongue

There's a muddy field where a garden was

and I'm glad you got away
But I'm still stuck out here

     my clothes are soaking wet
     from your brother's tears
     and I never thought this life was possible
     you're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for

The end of paralysis, I was a statuette

Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench

And when I press the keys

It all gets reversed

The sound of loneliness makes me happier.

but yeah. east wichita is pretty cool. if you like the whole being bored all the time thing.

but i keep hangin on.

FUCK YOU HAYSVILLE

How about a followup

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:10:21 GMT

Im sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 00:53:28 GMT

Im shutting down my xanga after this post.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:57:41 GMT

I miss the old days. Thats right i said it. i was going through comments on my old posts and this is what i came up with...and it made me realize how good we used to have it.

remember the time we were at your brothers house(new years) and we decided to walk around and shoot stuff with that b-b-gun. well we were shooting stuff and you wanted to pistol whip that car window, so you did and it broke your gun and didnt harm the window. so we went back with the cro-bar and busted the hell out of the window then run back to your brothers. we got back drank some more then went out for a smoke and came back in and mark had a boner, so you hit him with the pool noodle thing. then we told him it was 2:00pm and he got up and ran around with his boner strait up for a while, then looked at his watch and said "fuck you guys, im going back to sleep. its only 8:00am" so he went to sleep and we sat there and kept drinking . i love you kid, lets get drunk. wait, i quit drinking, lets break some windows sometime
Posted 3/3/2005 at 9:34 PM by skaterofvolcom - delete - block user

member on new years when mark had a BONER and you guys were taking pictures of him and you hit him really hard with that blow up pool thing.

goodwill trying on horrible, horribbbllee womens clothing. I don't know, I thought it made your tits look extravagent.

And here, may be the best one..

the walk by oranging how we drove and drove and drove passing by the fucking place cus it had a big ass BINGO!! sign on the fuckin front (don't say that shit wasn't confusing) and i was scared cus the black guys.. ya know and we threw a firecracker and those niggas RAN!

and.. how all the amicos are ARABIAN... and how marks car has orange peel on it for lke two weeks.

how good i am at karoking to britney spears and how pissed I am that they got that shit on tape.

at the skate-fu with the chick with the ARMPIT HAIRR... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHH!!! and speaking of things at the park member josh (the .. slow one) how we got him to go home and make HUSHPUPPIES and he brought them back and Negro-Porn. and people were actually LOOKING at it!!! u know u were.. haa..

and how knate like took a piss right there in the middle of the sidewalk and everyone was like WATCH OUT. PISS.

ha fuck ill think of more later. we should get our nipples peirced. deal?

i fuckin love you
Posted 3/3/2005 at 10:49 PM by Romancexx__BleedsAway - delete - block user

You want a memory, okay. Let's start with first grade when we first met. My gang would always fight yours at Recess (everyday). Gardually we became friends at about 3rd grade and 4th grade we created the "Flying Monkeys" (hahaha). We kept that little gang til 5th grade. 6th Grade we didn't talk much. Actually we didn't talk much until 9th grade. But then we started skating together with Ax and everyone. This year, we hung-out at that concert at the park where Kyle knocked you down and I was the only one that stood up for you and backed you up. Kyle's a big guy but he hurt one of my friends so I got in his face with no fear. We've been kewl this whole time since. And now that I just went through my little "episode", I have seen that you are true friend by coming and seeing me right after I got back. Thanks Brian. You don't know how much that means to me. Peace out...
Posted 3/3/2005 at 7:36 PM by XtremePyro24 - delete - block user

Now what the fuck happened?

Trinity Damn Mullin- Why are we hanging out every second of the day, why arent we doing the stupidest shit like taping purple ducks in the middle of seneca and watching people hit it. What happened? we used to look out for each other, we used to get drunk together and have those talks..the kind of talks where nothing makes sense but it sounds inspirational. Why dont we go get toast anymore? I know you dont have much time left in haysville, and it depresses me, i worked hard to get you back...why dont you find somewhere to stay? Cant you find another way? i miss you.

Emma- I dont even know what to say...one day everything was fine and the the next everything just..died out. Maybe weve both changed to much... I miss everyting we used to have, the late night talks, the music we listened to together, hanging out at marks, or trinitys, or my brothers, you coming out of nowhere and hugging me at school...i miss that. and the worst part of all of it is i know that itll never be the same...your going to a new school, we are hanging out with different crowds, we never talk on the phone, your never online...maybe we both just gave up. thats not okay. i miss you.

Nate- Why did you have to move? You were a brother to me, an di know you wil probably never read this because your fucking in jail but i just wanted to let you know that i miss you...and everyone does.

life isnt fair... Im sick of things changing on me, if we had it so great back then then why did we let it change? We could of fixed this.

Is it wrong to feel this way? every hour in these days, every minute every second, every sunrise every sunset, i miss you.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 10:18:02 GMT

One, Two, Three, Four

I love marine corp,

One, Two, Three, Four,

I love Marine Corp

I dont know what ive been told

I dont know what ive been told

Eskimoe pussy is mighty cold

Eskimoe pussy is mighty cold

Feels good!

feels good!

Tastes good!

Tastes good!

Is Good!

Is good!

MMMM Good!

MMMM Good!

Work, school, and nothing. thats whats been going on, i saw the esoteric and they rocked balls but thats just about it.Got my cell phone back, call me.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 19:54:30 GMT

But some things never get better

like used cars

and bad livers.

So you traded her in

for a better looking brand.

One with fake porno tits

a pad lock on her lips

disposable tan

biodegradable hands.

Back at the hospital

you got no visitors at all.

She visits you in your sleep,

but that newspaper gown

is always on fire

She met him a week after you left her

when you tossed out her touch

to the garbage collector.

He talked her out of her skirt

in his beer-soaked apartment

and then they did all the things

you never said that you wanted.

And the sirens are laughing

underneath your skull.

And your thoughts are turning

dull , callous and cold.

Yesterday

you gave your burden a name.

Yesterday

you gave your burden a face.

But your burden

it looks a lot like her.

Love rhymes with pity now.

so i got the job at the warren. i get to work in a tux ha. That also means i get my cell phone back sometime next week.

Im going to summer school so i can be a junior next year...

and thats just about it.

Someone hang out with me.... 5. 2. 4. 0. 3. 9. 6.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Mon, 30 May 2005 00:01:44 GMT

Never Again.

I'll slit my throat

with the knife I pulled out of my spine.

Maybe when you find out

that I'm dead,

you'll realize what you did to me.

And if my lungs still let me breathe,

would you be there for me.

If I can make myself believe,

I'll give you back what you took away.

No, I won't let it go.

Douse myself in gasoline.

So don't save me when you come into the fire.

I'd rather die than have to see your smile.

I dont know it just seems like im losing everyone. I have a job interview wednesday at the warren. NOthin much to say, im grounded, call me at 524-0396 and talk to me im bored as hell. or come and visit me that would be cool.

IM SORRY

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Thu, 19 May 2005 19:17:46 GMT

What would it take for me to be with you

I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed,

please be impressed

I'd go so far to please you

but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all

Hopeless love please leave me

This broken heart is far to weak

to run for you this long

Why don't you care at all?

I'm dying for a place in your heart.

Can you take this silence like a pill

so I can breathe again

I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you

But I'm still hoping that

I'll be with you somehow, somehow

the search for a girlfriend isnt going anywhere at all. Tom and me are about to give up, cause all we do is get shot down as trinity basks in his own self glory that little shit. just kidding though.

Schools almost out and im hoping this summer will cheer me up because ive been really out of it lately, but i bet youdont even care at all.

Wow.. this is me

/\ ----->

___/\ | ||

|| ||

|| V

|| >-]0

Monday, May 16, 2005

Mon, 16 May 2005 18:54:13 GMT

                           love

       my love can you hear me?

          you left and i am lost without you

knew

i never knew anything

               of love or emptiness- now i do

        you just avoid me

       you push your heart down

       yours runs for safety

             as my heart hits the ground

i can't afford to lose you now

    this love cost me everything

       i can't afford to lose you now

but girl, you are losing me

    i can't give you my heart

'cause everytime you just send it back

         arms

     i can't give you my arms

you never get close enough for that

                  maybe i'm icharus

flying too close to the sun

             could be that i am alexander

fighting for the world while i am young

                perhaps i'm oliver

dreaming of a life i never knew

       but surely i am me

            who's nothing without you

Had a good day, thank you emma mark trinity donald and cody, thank you.

now on to more pressing matters....

xBANG