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Saturday, May 17, 2008

  • Turmoil at work

    I'm still around although I haven't been updating.  Work has pretty much overwhelmed me.  In addition to this, I'm looking for another job internally.  It's never easy but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  It also doesn't help when my manager and I don't have a trusting relationship anymore.  The only consolation is that he's located in a different city so I don't have to see him when I'm at work. 

    My bf had a bbq last weekend.  He prepped the food and someone else assembled the brand new bbq and did the grilling.  I simply ate and played with the kids.  The baby let me feed him and drank water out of a cup while I held it.  At first, I didn't want to tilt the cup too much.  When he didn't get any water, he looked at me, turned his palms up and shrug his shoulders as if to say "where's the water?"   It was too cute. 

    The older kids played hide and seek. One of them tried to hide behind me as I sat on the couch.  He crawled behind the cushions and hoped that his sister wouldn't notice.  She did.  When it was his turn to be "it, I watched him face the wall as he counted out while the others ran frantically around to hide.  He would count "1, 2, 3, 4, *peek*, 5, 6, 7, *peek*, ...."   I guess I did that too when I was a kid. 

    So moments like this go a long way to cheer me up.  My bf also is getting noticed at work for his contributions and hard work so that's pretty awesome and it makes me happy. 

    Here's some stuff that also makes me happy - food porn:
    Ribs - my sister made these. 

                                                                                                                                                      























    Steamed chicken, the veggies were simply steamed / boiled.  I made the ginger, spring onions, salt in hot oil to accompany the chicken.  The veggies had some sesame seed oil and oyster sauce.  It's simple and easy.



                                                                                                                                                         






















    Green tea Kit Kat.  I saw it at the Chinese supermarket.  It was ok. 




Tuesday, April 29, 2008

  • Still Learning One of Life's Lessons

    It’s easy to get discouraged and feel defeated by life’s challenges. 

    Life isn’t always fair.

    You wish time would slow down so you could get more done but it won’t. 

    You want your life to have meaning,

    You want to be loved and you want to love.

    The path in front of you seem to be filled with traps, pitfalls and despair.

    You look back at all your wishes and dreams, while some may have come to fruition, others remain covered with the dust and grime of time. 

    There will be times when you will feel defeated, hopeless and beaten.  The dark clouds of pessimism spawn the twin demons of depression and self pity.

    I’ve learned and will continue to re-learn that how you react and respond to life’s challenges is crucial.  Don't ever give up on yourself. 

    Will I simply roll over and do nothing?  Or will I gradually pick up myself up, dust myself off and push forward?  You have to learn not to let life defeat you.   What’s important is your ability to learn from it, grow, be stronger, adapt and move on. 

    When you do that, you’ll have learned one of life’s most important skills.   

Thursday, April 24, 2008

  • Dreaming, writing and cooking

    I went to bed shortly after 11:00 and woke up shortly after midnight.  Sometimes when I'm really tired and exhausted - my body doesn't want to sleep.  I'm sure my head will be drooping tomorrow as I struggle to keep awake while writing my reports.  So I did what I haven't done in a while.  I rolled out of bed and wrote a bit.  I keep several files.  Some just contain a couple of sentences while others are better developed.  They are like little seedlings.  Every so often, I add a few words, prune some more, stare at it and hope for an inspiration. Lately though - not much has happened. 

    It's not easy to write when you're stressed.  The past few months at work haven't been easy.  I find I write best when my mind is at ease.  It's not something I can multi task in between reports, emails, presentations and chores.  I hope to find my "writer's voice" soon.  I fantasize that someday, I'll publish a book and doing the rounds of interviews and book signings.  My parents used to tease each other when they talk about winning the lottery.  My mom would say "Well, you better go to sleep early tonight."  I asked her once what she meant.  My mom chuckled "If you go to sleep earlier, then you can start dreaming sooner."   On that note,  I'm going to hit the sack.  And I hope to see some of you at my book signings - just don't wake me up from my dream. 

    Here's some food pics.  I'm still stuck on beef.  This time, it turned out to be very nice.  I picked a different cut of beef (sorry - can't remember what it was but it was right beside the flank steak).  The meat was very soft when I cut into it.

    This is beef with string beans.  There's some shallots, garlic and ginger as well as oyster sauce. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                































    Beef in satay sauce with Udon noodles.  I added an onion, spring onions and ginger.  I rarely cook with satay sauce and used it sparingly.  I think I can add a bit more next time.  The dish was a bit oily though but it tasted fine.


Monday, April 21, 2008

  • Cleaning for the soul

    I was doing a bit of some cleaning at my dad’s place the other week.  This time it was their old bedroom.  In today’s big houses, people would dismiss their bedroom as a small guest room or perhaps a home office.  There’s just room for two small beds, some book cases, a dresser, a couple of chairs and 1 closet.  With all that, there was just enough space to walk in and get to where you want.  My dad doesn’t sleep in this bedroom anymore.  He actually moved out at my mom’s insistence when the medical equipment in their started to keep him awake.  That seems like such a long time now.  Although my sister has done some cleaning, it’s still fairly intact with the exception of a lot of books, magazines and stuff on top of the beds.  Most of the old furniture is still there.  It’s nothing fancy and most of them are quite old. 

    The 2 piggy banks on top of the dresser caught my eye.  It’s an old man and an old woman sitting on their rocking chairs.  There’s an inscription there “Our Retirement Fund”.  I think she got these when she started to work.  She was probably in her 50’s at that time.  She would deposit loonies ($1) and twonies ($2).  There are layers of tape covering the hole at the bottom of the 2 piggy banks.  Over time, there have been many withdrawals – mostly to pay for bills.      

    A lot of my mom’s Chinese books are still there.  Some are still by her bedside table.  The chairs are still positioned the same way.   I still remember how she would stretch out there after a long day and read.  It was one of her simple pleasures.  Just outside the bedroom window was our neighbor’s birdfeeder.  She loved watching the jays, sparrows, robins and squirrels feeding on it.  The plants by the window are at my place now.  My dad didn’t really know how to take care of them.

    I try to focus on the task but there are so many things that trigger my memories.  I try to be careful with my dad’s papers.  I notice a large envelope from his lawyer.  It’s his will.  I hold the envelope for a while and placed it back down.  He’s told me what he wants already so there isn’t really anything in there that I don’t know about.   But I still didn’t want to open it.  After a while, I call it quits.  There’s a saying that cleaning can be cathartic.  I think there’s some truth in that.    

Friday, April 18, 2008

  • An Early Evening Walk

    When I got home today, the sun was just starting to set.  I grabbed a quick snack and went out for a walk. I grabbed my camera to get some much needed practice.  All the settings don't come naturally yet.  I have no patience with manuals as well.  But alas, I have to carry my manual with me all the time.  I just took pictures of whatever caught my eye. 

    This rusty bike was abandoned over the winter and completely covered under the snow drifts.  It still has a certain charm.  The fading red paint of the bike rack added a bit of color and complemented the already faded red paint of the bike.                                                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                                































    I think people were staring at me as I continued to snap pictures of the buds.                                                                                                                                                                                              






























    Urban sunset.


ElusiveWords

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