Encallion's Xanga

Burger King vs. McDonald's

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:26:44 GMT

Burger King wins, end of story. Their burgers are just so good. When I go to Burger King, I usually get a Whopper meal. This cost about $4.30. When I go to McDonald's, I get the Big Mac meal: $5.20. They are both almost the same in size, but BK comes out cheaper. And because I leave everything on the Big Mac, but rather take off the mayo and tomato of the Whopper, the Whopper is probably better for me too.

But the Big Mac sauce is good though.

The point is that my city needs to get a Burger King. Now.

The problem with America today and the solution

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:17:35 GMT

Super hilarious!

The New Office Rules

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:08:27 GMT

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes as a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with "B" will go from 8:10 to 8:20, and so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks.
Item amount gross pay: +$1,222.02
Sales tax: -$153.89
Income tax: -$244.40
Outgo tax: -$45.21
State tax: -$11.61
Interstate tax: -$61.10
County tax: -$6.11
City tax: -$12.22
Rural tax: -$4.44
Back tax: -$1.11
Front tax: -$1.16
Side tax: -$1.61
Up tax: -$1.08
Down tax: -$1.14
Tic-Tacs: -$1.98
Thumbtacks: -$3.93
Carpet tacks: -$0.98
Stadium tax: -$0.69
Flat tax: -$8.32
Tire replacement: -$101.65
Surtax: -$2.23
Ma'am tax: -$1.23
Corporate tax: -$2.60
Parking fee: -$5.00
F.I.C.A.: -$81.88
T.G.I.F. Fund: -$9.95
Life insurance: -$5.85
Health insurance: -$16.23
Dental insurance: -$4.50
Mental insurance: -$4.33
Disability: -$2.50
Ability: -$0.25
Liability: -$3.41
Coffee: -$6.85
Coffee cups: -$66.51
Floor rental: -$16.85
Chair rental: -$0.32
Desk rental: -$4.32
Union dues: -$5.85
Union don'ts: -$3.77
Cash advance: +$0.69
Cash retreats: -$121.35
Overtime: +$1.26
Undertime: -$54.83
Eastern time: -$9.00
Central time: -$8.00
Mountain time: -$7.00
Pacific time: -$6.00
Time out: -$12.21
Oxygen: -$10.02
Water: -$16.54
Heat: -$51.42
Cool air: -$26.83
Hot air: -$20.00
Miscellaneous: -$113.29
Various: -$8.01
Sundry: -$12.09
--------------------------------------------------
Total net take home pay: +$0.02

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week,
The Management

Calvin on Life

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:23:42 GMT

Printed on Wednesday, 25 August 1993.

The Apostles' Creed

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:35:16 GMT

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

And in Jesus Christ,
His only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;
He descended into Hell;
the third day He rose again from the dead;
He ascended into Heaven
and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
from thence He shall come to judge the quick and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic (universal Christian) Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.

Amen.

A Blessing in the Form of a Hymn

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:37:56 GMT

I don't know to how many of you this has happened, but I received a real blessing from singing It Is Well yesterday during Church. There are especially two verses that I would like to share with you.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Just to think, Christ carried all our sins, not just some or most of them, but ALL of them, and we do not have worry, carry, or think about them anymore. And they are nailed to the Cross forever. Is this not freedom?

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

And to think furthermore that Christ has not left us here on earth forever, but will come forth with all His glory to come get us, His Church.

How amazing is that?

Westboro Baptist Church

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:30:52 GMT

I have just recently discovered a church by the name of Westboro Baptist Church that has indeed perverted the Word of God very much.

2nd Peter 2:1: "But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction."

I wonder what they have to say about Jonah and forgiveness and the whole reason Jesus came to earth? Maybe to save wretched sinners?

Photos

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:52:52 GMT

Okay, here's the thing, I am hoping to have lots of photos on the web, but you might just have to go to my Photobucket to view some of them. Here is the link: http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b319/encallion/photos/.

Easter: A Day of Celebration and Rememberance

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 22:54:16 GMT

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth reply, Alleluia!

Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids him rise, Alleluia!
Christ has opened paradise, Alleluia!

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once he died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where's thy victory, boasting grave? Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like him, like him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia!

Hail the Lord of earth and heaven, Alleluia!
Praise to thee by both be given, Alleluia!
Thee we greet triumphant now, Alleluia!
Hail the Resurrection, thou, Alleluia!

King of glory, soul of bliss, Alleluia!
Everlasting life is this, Alleluia!
Thee to know, thy power to prove, Alleluia!
Thus to sing, and thus to love, Alleluia!

"For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption." (Psalm 16:10)

"And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead; and, behold, He goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see Him: lo, I have told you." (Matthew 28:5-7)

"Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments: and as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen: remember how He spake unto you when He was yet in Galilee, Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again. And they remembered His words, and returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest." (Luke 24:1-9)

Today is a great day. For if we cannot triumph and rejoice in the resurrection of the Risen Lord and Christ, then I honestly do not have any idea what we can celebrate about. For, this day is far more significant than Christmas, than Thanksgiving, than any other holiday. It is because the Lord of heaven and earth lives to this day that we can have life everlasting.

"By His power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also." (1st Corinthians 6:14)

"Now if Christ be preached that He rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen: and if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain. Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that He raised up Christ: whom He raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not. For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised: and if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins." (1st Corinthians 15:12-17)

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God,
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down,
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Choose Life

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:54:44 GMT

Like any thrilled mother to be, Michelle Stepney cherished the first kicks she could feel from her unborn babies.

But her lively twin girls were doing more than simply making their presence felt.

Each little kick was saving their mother's life.

Unknown to her, Mrs Stepney, 35, had developed cervical cancer. Her unborn twins' constant kicking in the womb actually managed to dislodge the tumour.

It was only when Mrs Stepney was taken to hospital with a suspected miscarriage that doctors realised she had cancer.

They told her the babies had saved her life. Without them, the cancer may not have been discovered until it was too late.

Then came another bombshell. In order to treat the cancer, she needed immediate chemotherapy and a hysterectomy, which would mean terminating the pregnancy.

Mrs Stepney refused. "I couldn't believe it when the doctors told me that the babies had dislodged the tumour," she said.

"I'd felt them kicking, but I didn't realise just how important their kicking would turn out to be.

"I owe my life to my girls, and that's why I could have never agreed with a termination."

Instead, she waited for her lifesaving treatment until they had been born.

Now the proud mother of year-old girls Alice and Harriet, Mrs Stepney has been given the all-clear.

She and her husband Scott, 36, a civil servant, were told they were expecting twins at a 14-week scan.

The couple, who also have a five-year-old son, Jack, were thrilled. But three weeks later, Mrs Stepney was back at the hospital with a suspected miscarriage.

"I was just in shock when the doctors told me what it was. When they said that the babies had literally kicked my tumour out, I just couldn't believe it.

"If I hadn't been pregnant with the twins, the cancer may not have been discovered until it was too late.

"I knew I could have an operation straight away and it would cure me of the cancer, but that would mean getting rid of my babies and I couldn't do that.

"I had two lives inside me and I just couldn't give up on them - especially after they had saved me like this."

Doctors at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London agreed to give Mrs Stepney reduced chemotherapy in the hope of stopping the cancer spreading during the pregnancy.

"The doctors had tried this with women who were pregnant before, but they hadn't treated a woman with twins before. I knew it was our only hope," she said at her home in Cheam, South-West London.

She had chemotherapy every fortnight and was constantly scanned to monitor the babies' development.

"The doctors didn't know what the chemotherapy would do to the twins, and the first time I had it, I dreaded what it was doing to the girls. But they actually carried on growing well."

The twins were delivered by caesarean-section 33 weeks into the pregnancy, in December 2006. Alice weighed 3lb 11oz and Harriet 3lb 5oz.

"They were born without any hair as a result of the chemotherapy, but other than that, they were healthy.

"When I heard them both let out a cry it was the best sound in the world."

Four weeks later Mrs Stepney had a hysterectomy to remove the tumour. Tests showed the cancer had not spread.

The twins have just celebrated their first birthday and are thriving. Mrs Stepney, an accountant, had a scan in December which showed she was still free from cancer.

She has been nominated for a Woman of Courage award by Cancer Research UK Race for Life and will be honoured at a ceremony in London on February 12.

"I've had wonderful support from my husband and I couldn't have got through it without him," she said. "I feel so lucky. And one day I will tell my daughters how they saved their mummy's life."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=512113&in_page_id=1774