If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.

When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice.

On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)

You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.

Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.

Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.

Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.

Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.

If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.

An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year

When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed)

No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics

No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.

Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.

No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.

If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.

A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.

No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.

No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)

You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.

There are is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)

Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.

In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.

The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.

When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.