| My Xanga Farewellhello all.
So i haven't written here in a while, mostly because I haven't felt the need to. This is probably a good thing, because it means I've had enough people around me that I can talk to, rather than write aimlessly on a page no one really reads anymore.
One thousand four hundred and twenty two days ago, I started this xanga with a purpose. I have long forgotten what that purpose is, and so it is probably a good time to bid farewell to this instituion...this canvas for love and hate and confusion. I leave you with some thoughts:
It's been an interesting semester so far, and I hope it gets a lot less interesting. There's a lot on my table, and I have to play my cards right.
I think I'm going to go home this weekend to see my mom. She's leaving for her trip to Europe soon and I probably won't see her for another good while. I haven't seen my dad in nearly 6 months. Though the rift between my parents and I never bothered me much before, it does now. Some say it's a sign I'm growing up, becoming more mature and less selfish. Maybe.
I think by my 20th birthday, I will know a lot more about my future and where it is headed. I have a plan, but we'll see where it goes. Perhaps, I will be farther from my path than I ever expected.
I've lost touch with nearly everyone back home and that makes me feel terrible. I hate that I can't maintain relationships, even if they are plutonic. Does it reflect my dedication, or lack thereof, or is it a mutual failure to give that extra effort and keep in touch? I feel I can change it, and therefore, this must be my fault.
The world is a scary place right now. I can't believe people accept the world they live in as normal, or even decent. It seems people are trying too hard to drive their points home. Military coups and wars are things I once only had to worry about in books and movies. Is this really our reality?
I realize that I didn't bring nearly enough clothes to Bing. I also need another banket. I got sick when the weather dropped from 75+ degrees to 49 degrees overnight. Getting sick around this time seems to be a constant of the last three years.
I really like the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album Stadium Arcadium. Real simple, feel good songs that really make me wish I had nothing to worry about. Hard to Concentrate, Tell Me Baby and Make You Feel Better are great songs and will probably make your day a little better.
They gotta do something about the spinach and get it back to Subways. I can't eat sandwiches without spinach.
Someone needs to cut my hair because this thing on my head is getting ridiculous. I should also probably take out my contacts some time soon.
So in conclusion, I hope everyone stops worrying about being sad and stressed. The best times of your life are earned through the hardest and cruelest events. You can quote me on that if you'd like. Get to know someone and cheer up. The end is real close and when it's over you can't only remember the good times. Like, hold hands, kiss and love like you mean it. These are the hardest, best days of your life. Live with me, please.
Goodbye all
Steven
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