hm... now that i'm back from ozzie land, i'm not sure how i should recount the last month. it was just been incredible, so incredible it feels like i went through a vortex into the most laidback place in the world, or some other dimension. but now i'm back i have to deal with some shit that i left behind. and so far it's been pretty groovy and sublime this week.

heading back to cornell on monday and i'm eager to get the next term started. since this blog has mainly been my outlet for rants and raves, let's just keep it that way. if you want some ozzie tales, just IM me or hit me up on the cell.

in the meantime, i'm sensing angst and frustration heading my way in the upcoming weeks. and one HAWESOME BERFDAY.

livi

what little that i ask for...

he's going to fucking mentally torture me throughout my entire trip in australia. i hate him. i don't think i'm even kidding now. it's not his fault that i can't stop missing him and thinking about him. or maybe it is? fuck, who knows.

had a nice dinner with greg and steven. they seemed to get along nicely. then i went to my first club [well, official club and not really awesome club-like cafe wha in the village] and it happened to be a mostly male, mostly asian gay club up in midtown east. it was pretty awesome to have every male dance like a god, but it made me feel much more self-conscious. i'm not only competing with girls, but beautiful gay guys now! however, every fucking shaking pelvis and awesome set of buttocks i saw on the go-go boi's reminded me of him. fucking-A.

reality is that i managed to turn him into one of my many obsessions. but as always, i can always give my full attention to one thing at a time [well, generally speaking one thing at a time].

i'll move on still.

livi

P.S. goodbye my little chick-a-dee's! i'll send you love from "down under"! it will only be a month... and who knows what will happen to me in that time?

i don't think i'll realize how much i'm going to miss the city and civilization in general. but then again, i'm really excited to throw myself literally into the rainforests and away from materialism and consumerism and all those "-isms." the funny thing is that i'll be one of the few asians in class, the only one from a major city [and one of the most snobby cities], and the only one from an ivy. haha, i just remembered from the gay pride parade i thought that one of the announcers called us "ivy queers." now that's an ambiguous nickname. you don't know whether it's mean-spirited or just nice. anyway, i have a lot of assumptions to swat away once the class finally gets together.

although the city is a total sketchfest and has too many shopping districts for its own good [ugh, the temptations!], i definitely prefer it to any other place in the world. notice how i'm declaring this when i haven't really been to that many places in the world. i still feel as if i haven't gotten to know the city enough and that i haven't wandered around enough. next vacation perhaps.

one more day left!

livi

[EDIT] after coming back home for so many breaks, i have noticed one trend: i can't stand my parents for more than 1.5 weeks. i could barely stay in the house anymore because all i feel like doing is being lazy and eating so much junk food. of course, i did that in dickson [dorm] all the time but now i'm being suffocated with food! and it's not healthy food either! then my mom always asks stupid fucking questions about where i go and what i do every moment of the day. it's easier to understand how intolerable this can be after experiencing FREEDOM in college, not having to answer for everything you do. even for petty things like taking a spontaneous nap or just doing nothing. when i'm trying to think to myself, suddenly she pops up with a stupid distracting question and i hate that kind of bullshit.

like i said before, ONE MORE DAY!

i hate waking up and being angry at the world. i haven't been quite the morning person lately because i always have to get up early and get my dad's monthly metrocard right after he uses it to get to work in the morning. and this time, i had to plan out how much i was going to spend in australia.

basically, the biggest expense i MIGHT have to make is on a didgeridoo, a musical instrument invented by the aboriginals and is quite the tourist tradition to learn how to play it. i think a local aboriginal family is teaching us how to play and it and the ones we could buy might actually be cheaper and more authentic than the ones offered online. but goddamnit for things you want to buy and possibly can't afford.

oh well, there are more things to worry about. the days fucking pass by so fast. [i had just spent 30 sec. editing the last sentence because i had typed it up so erroneously. i can't even be grammatically coherent! ahh!]

livi

rain in the nyc has to be one of the biggest downers in life. okie, so maybe i'm exaggerating but it has ruined several of my days ever since i've been home. today was supposed to be a day of guggenheim and condoms, but we didn't get to fulfill the latter half of our plans. the gugg was definitely awesome though.

we took jack and jose to the museum today. midway up through the museum, me and rusha took shots of the alcohol, taking turns going into the bathrooms designed for single occupancy. there are even guards standing nearby to make sure you pee alone. when we finally reached the top of the museum and looked down, we experienced vertigo. well, i experienced it with a buzz and every time i looked, a guy lounging nearby the pool at the ground floor would look up and point his camera in my direction. it was definitely freaky for me. then we shopped at the gift shop and headed for condomania, supposedly the biggest condom store [in the world?]. located right in the village for our convenience. however, we never got there because of the rain and we had some train trouble.

i was so incoherent throughout the latter portion of the day that i came home with a headache. there was just so much freaking out at wendy's, on the subway, and trying to make sense why i was feeling a bit unfulfilled.

overall, i still wish i shopped for condoms with rusha, took cutesy pictures with her, and watched "closer" with her. however, there's a huge chance i get to hang out with her in north carolina and get stoned/wasted for most of my visit there. fucking-A!

i'm going to try and be productive for the rest of the day. hiya!

livi