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| Got to get you into my life!And here I am, the only living girl anywhere.
So, it took a gamble and a half but I landed the job at the HA! comedy club dutifully titled 'VIP coordinator'. Sounds a lot better than waitress I'll tell ya that much. So I work in the center of the world but just getting there is the hassle and by that I don't mean transportation. I will call it tourist evasion. my GOD there are so many of them!
So a boy I met two years ago at the Borat premier had the guts to contact me so we went on a date and I had the most fabulous time I've had on a date in ages. He impressed me with his skills as not only a screen writer but a chef! We sipped on beers I have never heard of and tasted things which excited my palate and heart. He won me over with his genuine sense of humor and knowledge of all things Bourdain. Wonderful lad, superbly and truly wonderful.I made the first move, the first genuine kiss I have given since 7 am bell tolls in the east village. He stopped me and asked if we could be dinner buddies for now and again my spirit was warmed with the heat of ten cups of coffee. " Is it possible to miss somebody after the first date?" he inquired via text and I was on fire once again.
I sat up in my bed and wrote by hand and summed up what he and I once had and what could've been. I have tried my best and can't ever say I didn't. He wasn't ready for me by the time I was ready for him.
Tomorrow I will miss the fireworks but I have a sweet new job that may actually get me somewhere so I sit content.
The wonderful boy returns this weekend and a lovely time will be had I know.
Somebody up there really likes me.
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| In the center of my being.I would update more but I have been doing actual writing so forgive me blog. Had my heart broken real casual about a week ago and now I can't stand to see him but all I wanna do is see him. The little hope I have is quickly fading and my heart just breaks more and more with each coming day. Today is the first of July and here I am outside in the shade typing away my heart ache. Ties with my Father have once again been pretty much cut off, he has a new girlfriend now I hear. OHHHH OK.
Yesterday I was sitting on my favorite benches on Spring and Thompson, observing the Soho-ites with angry eyes. A bum walked by and asked me for a lighter. I granted him one in exchange for a cigarette, he didn't have one but the guy next to me did. Matthew and I chatted for about half an hour, so he returned to work and walked me to Mother's work. We exchanged numbers and I felt good again. I felt like a girl again who can do whatever she wants to do. About two hours later I found myself on St. Marks wandering in no particular direction. Yes, it was a little presumptuous but I was around so we grabbed a few drinks and got to know eachother. I had a really swell time and I really did like the fella but they are right in saying alcohol is a depressant but all I could think about on my way home was him. I really hope they aren't secretly together and trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I really hope I am being paranoid. A broken heart makes me a terrible, irritable, paranoid person and I hate it.
I just want to be woken up again like I was two summers ago. But I feel that I have just begun to fall asleep again so asleep I will stay.
"I have to go."
"I'll go with you!"
"That would just be silly."
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| Soma is what they would take when hard times opened their eyes
Saw pain in a new way
High stakes for a few names
Racing against sunbeams
Losing against their dreams | | |
| Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
So our prayers came true and now we live in the giant apartment underneath my parents where anything goes. The kitchens bright yellow, the door ways are seafoam green the beer is flowing the grass is growing. On, this, the anniversary of my deflowering I sit in our lovely back yard whilst Kristene vacuums the car, KC hides from the vacuum, and I sit in disbelief that the magical season has finally come upon us. With every warming day I still thrust my head back in disbelief and try to embrace these magical first few weeks of summer. It's here, it's here. I thought I'd never see you again. Heck, I still can't get over the rustling of the leaves on the trees.
Stacy and I have been working at a new vegetarian restaurant in Edgewater. We loved it for quite a while until we realized we weren't getting paid enough. It's sad because I actually like working there. I have also, kind of, become a bar keep. We'll see where that goes.. And my love oh my love.
Baby you fell asleep sitting up. He opens his eyes and all he see's is me. He's the prettiest smartest captain of the team.
So today we call upon the ones we love most to accompany us in grilling and drinking.
Welcome to the goood liiiife.
It's not easy, it won't be easy but god do I love it.
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| mad exciting shit going on yo.
PRAYS that Stacy and mine's HUGE oppurtunity works out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I dreamt I saw you kissing another girl
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