Just got back from another date with Angel Negron <3 He's such a sweetheart...he really is. I adore and admire his maturity and understanding. He listens not only with his ears but with his heart as well. He makes me laugh and I just feel so comfortable with him. Right now, I just want to make sure he's not just a "rebound" guy...and I think deep down....he wants me to make sure that I like him for the right reason and not just a "rebound" guy also. I've been seeing him for ...wow 2 months now. Awesome! Ever since the first day we've met...out attraction and chemistry has been off the roof~! He's just a great guy..and I say that even more tonight because he did something so brave and thoughtful for me. My ex called and he picked up my cell phone for me. I was so excited and happy* See, my ex recently did something fucked up to me...he had his new girlfriend called and harassed meto not text/call him..man whatever bitch..you can have him..I HAD him already* Please bitch...ANYWAY, my friends and family has been sooo supportive and helping me dust off my shoulder. And Angel has been one of them...that's why he wanted to pick up the cell phone for me..there was no beef between them...but it felt good to let Vic know that he ain't the only one who got his game going on* SHIET.... haha payback's a bitch! Punk ass pussy

As for Angel and I...I just enjoy his company..I'm going along with the flow* and I actually accept him for who he is..(even with his...let's not mention it right now =x) he's honest, funny, mature, and just very understanding. Oh and he's very handsome. I love his face...he's not as tall as I want him to be...but hey, nobody is perfect in this damned world. Im very lucky to have met someone like him...and I cherish our relationship very dearly..whatever it is..a lover, a best friend, a sister....Im blessed to have truly met my Angel...*muahz* Wish me luck! good nighttt

So, I'm sort of and kind of "seeing" this guy name, Angel. Lol. We've been dating, talking or whatever you want to call it for the past month now. Yes, we've reached all 4 bases =x* We're VERY very attracted to each other. He's 28, Puerto Rican, and he has an awesome job. We can talk about anything actually. He has a great sense of humor and I can tell he can take care of his girl very well. I like him a lot...BUT...I just got off the Relationship Boat and I'm not ready to jump into another one. I mentioned that to him quite a bit. At the same time, I'm secretly liking him more than I expected to. And because of that, I'm going crazy sitting here because he doesn't call or contact me as much. And I know why he's giving me my space and that's because I've mentioned to him that I'm not ready for another relationship...so he doesnt want to scare me away. sigh* So today, I played my "disappearing act" to see how much and how long he can stay without contacting me. I haven't signed on AIM or called him at all today. Tomorrow will be day 2...I'll continue this "disappearing game" and see how long it takes for him to contact me. If he really liked me he would call me and see how I was doing! Damn it...god

Things to buy for my room:

Futon/Day bed/

Flat screen TV

xbox360,

Wii

DVD player

new sheets

Today I felt a little better...Nija came to the rescue~....once again...Nija was my hero once again! ...I actually emailed Victor apologizing on how sorry we didnt work out*

Victor....thank you for having pplz come tell me that u have a new gf now...or else,.we wouldve continued this vicious cycle of ours! I am so happy for you...and I want to say that... You do need a girl who can push up ur self esteem and make you feel secure....I'm sorry that I wasn't the one...and I'm sorry it took us 3 years to realize that we're not right for each other. But I took this 3 years journey as a learning experience and it'll always be a chapter in my book that I will forever hold onto. You were wonderful,you were my best friend...in every way* ...I wish you  happiness and great luck in everything that you do. .... please be good to urself....I never meant to hurt ur feelings...I love you and ull always be my chubbyhubby no matter what....-M 10.02.04-02.07.07...our story ends here...The End

he wrote back:

FYI I did not send no one to tell you shit...its not worth the time wasted to be playing mind games, I don't need that shit in my life...
I have no time for bullshit...I'm happy where I am...

and I wrote:

woah woah,  ....I juss wanted to say I'm happy u got another girl...dats all....no need for cursing, and an attitude* Damn....xD have a good life sweety! Peath-Luv,meah!

What a bictch yo* I was trying to be civil and mature about all this...I mean, we do still work together..so lets just make it for da best of it...he's too childish still...tsk tsk* Good luck new gf* this one is definitely a sensitive and annoying one...i wish i could warn you about his issues...but he's your burden now*

okay so we BROKE UP again....but this time it's different. He got himself a little girlfriend. We haven't even seperate for like a week yet, and he got himself a girlfriend* But then again, I understand how he got it...Vic and I have been broken up so many times...that I guess he eventually hooked up with one when we were seperated. So I know for a fact, he didn't just find this one within a few days...or did he? Hmm I've been there...so I know* I found out yesterday at work..and I was so devestated...sad...depressed and angry. My friends all tell me that girl is only a rebound chic* Well, Vic was my "rebound" guy when I broke up with my ex b4 him...and we ended up being together for 3 years! But I was sort of pushed to stay with him...blah*I stayed in the North side of the ER for my whole double shift* I was hiding out from everyone and especially him* He apparently was showing some co-workers a picture of his new girl* ...It hurts...it bothers me of course. I cried in the women's bathroom....and came out just staring in space. I didn't eat much. I know I wasn't the perfect girlfriend for him for the past 3 years. But at the beginning I was...until I discovered who he truly was: A liar, insecure, jealous little child who loves me with doubts and suspicions. He'll shower me with gifts at first and he'll give me the impression he's this guy who can make anything happen. All a front. In reality, he's a person who lives his life pay check by paycheck. With NO BANK ACCOUNT, NO ID, NO GREENCARD, NO PASSPORT, NO EDUCATION, Most importantly NO FUTURE.

I guess, I'm more sad and hurt for the fact he's gonna spend Valentine's Day with this new chic* when it was suppose to be both our vacation week off. But whatever...he always wants to go somewhere..and I finally got my holidays for him...and he never got his paperwork done. We can't go anywhere...and now he's gonna take this girl to some spa, supposely. I hate him..and I think he's a loser...he's lucky he got to spend 3 years with me. I'm like the coolest chic out there. He will never find another girl like me...funny, beautiful, creative...and sweet. Fuck Victor Paez...fucken low class flipino bum...who thinks he's da shit...juss coz his insane mother and bipolar sister works in da hospital,...wo0o so da fuck what...typical flips...who stays at nurses and ONLY nurses...cant even try out for doctors! ...and WE have victor here...blabbling about how hes so up there,...meanwhile he dont even have anything done for himself* Take a look at ur mirror, loser...

....such a bad bizzare day. Let me let you in on what happened. Shall we?

(1) I worked a day shift today (7am-3pm) as North Reg. I walked in like how I normally would. Minding my own business and I noticed half the clerks weren't at their post. Why? Oh that's right, today is the Staff meeting. One was held at 7am and the other will be at 2:30pm. Alrighty then...I guess I'll attend the 2:30pm one then. Theresa Desario was suggesting that I take 2:30pm one because no one was in the North side. So, whatevers. I also noticed my boyfriend-_-) wasn't in the area also* It turns out that he was coming in late. Alright, no biggie. I walked into North area...sat down to adjust and settle in. After 15-25 mins later I see my boyfriend, Victor walk over to my North side to greet me. I was more than happy of course. To make the long story short, he switched his post with someone so he can be North reg. with me =) ...2 hours into the day, we started to hear a tragic news that happened a block away from the hospital! Take a look: