wowwww. i havent updated this thing in forever. well anyway.. i lost like 10ish pounds so im around 85right now. which is good. i havent fasted for a while now. im at a point where i'm sort of just not happy but not disappointed.

im going to the mall today. i went a few days ago, and surprisingly, i didnt come out crying. i came out happy with myself. and thats super rare. i can barely fit into 00 jeans. hmm, i remember when i was a size 2.

ill edit later.

hey.. well *surprisingly* my previous fast didn't work out. but i did manage to GAIN 2 pounds, so now i weight 97. seriously what the hell is wrong with me. i have no self control, and i feel so bad when i come across xangas with all these people saying they ended their 80 hour fasts and i cant do 2 days. i cant even do one sometimes! but i joined the "perfecting my body" challenge [see previous entry] and hopefully i can get down to 80 by august 15.

so far i ate 1/4 a bagel, because i was at a sleepover and i was forced to. and my mom wants to take me out to lunch today.. so i guess if i have to i'll stick to a salad, and then tomorrow i'll fast.

some pictures.

[edit]

1. What reason today is motivating you to lose weight? I want to come back to school looking beautiful!
2. What are you going to do today that is something different from yesterday? I'm not going to let myself eat after 6:00 [i binged last night]
3. What's something you did yesterday that hurt your diet/fitness routine? see above
4. How many calories do you plan on consuming today? 300
5. What is your meal plan?
breakfast- 1/4 bagel..  80 cals
lunch- strawberrys.. 100 cals
snack: milk.. 60 cals
dinner- garden salad, no dressing.. 60 cals

if everything goes as planned, 7 points for food.
answered questions, 5 points.
1 hour cardio, 8 points.
workout stomach muscles, 3 points.

i may work out a little more, but so far is everything goes well i'll have 23 points! not bad i guess..

comments? <3

[edit #2] okay the final points for today was 22 because i went a little over 300 cals.. :-\ anyway i really like this challenge!

i just joined this [<-- click it] challenge...she won't start it unless there is 20 applicants, so please join! thank you <3... stay strong!

i feel disgusting. i feel like a pig. i always plan on fasting but i never go through with it because i eatt and eat and eat and alot of the time its "healthy stuff" but thats not going to get my anywhere. its disgusting. so starting tomorrow.. im going to put myself through personal hell. i am going to fast for one week, allowing myself a total off 100 calories to use over the week whether it be crystal light, mints, whatever. i only have 100 calories to get me through.

i find it easier when i have a plan of what my day will be like, so here it is for tomorrow:

>yoga in the morning, then tons of water
>around 11, go in the pool and do at least 50 laps.
>get out, drink tons more water.
>go for a 20 minute continuous run and come back home. water water water..
>100 crunches, back in the pool for 50 more laps.
>at around 3 do boxing until 6
>going out to my friends so i'll leave after dinner and say that im eating there
>do yoga at their place

the only thing that im worried about during fasting is my reaction the morning after a fast (one day). i always wake up around 2 in the morning and start throwing up. maybe im acting like a dumb blonde, but this always happens to me and i have no idea whats going on. well im not going to let it stop me.

thinspo: