started: 10 pm friday night

end time: no idea

so far i've fasted for 36 hours.

i haven't even been hungry. and last night, i went to nathan's cousin's wedding reception & i DIDN'T EAT! i was so proud of myself.

i had one chip. ONE. and i'm doing exercise in a little bit, so i'm not even letting that bother me. =]

i skipped school to hang out with my boyfriend.

he tells me he's hanging out with his friends, so he doesn't have time to hang out with me.

i don't know why, but i completely went psycho. i cut my wrists, i binged, i cried.

i feel like i'm going crazy. i went and took 4 of my diet pills. so i look like a cracked out suicidal.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i feel like i'm going insane.

all because he can't hang out with me.

what's wrong with me?

 yesterday was bad AGAIN. i don't know where my motivation has gone. it's shot to hell.

B- milk [50]

L- apple (60)

S- funyuns [200]

D- none

X- seventeen workout [-100] + 60 crunches [-25]

TOTAL: 185

my weight goals that i WILL MEET.

april 21st - 95
may 21st - 90
june 3rd - 87
july 5th - 84
september 1st - 80

i highly doubt i can do it. i've never been below 90. but i'm determined. VERY determined.

yesterday didn't go down too well at supper time. the boyfriend came over and he hates it when i don't eat. grr.

B- glass of milk [50]

L- pack of crackers [180]. small piece of chocolate [40]

X- seventeen workout [-250]

D-hopefully nothing large

i think that my boyfriend knows. he always watches what i eat & asks me why i WON'T eat. i just tell him my stomach hurts, but he never believes me anymore.