I survived.
Thank you to everybody who has kept up with my hectic life for the past 4 years.
You know where to find me.

//:
I've been trying to write it off, but I'm doing all I can to take the slur out of my words. You do your best to understand. I'm keeping you in mind, but I'm getting out of hand.
Pour the medicine that keeps me right.
I've been trying to explain myself, but no one understands.
I'm getting out of line but I'm keeping all my plans.
What am I gonna say?
What do you do here in the moment?
What do you say?
What do you do?
What do you need?
What am I gonna do?

It's 7 and I'm already wasted, I'm 21 and I'm already hazy.
I'm gonna stand up and brush it off, and I'll become a better woman.

2 more days...
I cant believe it.
Where has the time gone?

Seriously.
Not only this year but really..
21 years?!
I thought this day would never come.
I remember thinking.. "Only 7 more years!"
Only 6 more years.
Only 2 more days.

And now it seems like these 2 days are going to last longer than those 7 years have.

I've been on Xanga for 4 years..
Its time to let go.
I can be found on:
LiveJournal.
SuicideGirls.
or
MySpace.

Well...
There goes that one blog a day idea.

Today is mothers day.
Mine lives in Maryland.
This will be the second year in a row I dont see her.
She just called my crying telling me how sick she was.
My brother, father and her had planned to take a trip up here to meet my grandparents and I for dinner.
Obviously they wont be coming now.

Im worried something bigger is wrong with my mom.
Shes been getting EXTREMELY sick, a lot lately.
Its scary.
I just want her to go to the doctor and get her stuff all figured out.

Speaking of mothers...
I've decided that when I have children.
(When or IF.)
If I have a girl, I will print out my journals on the corresponding day, and give them to her.
So she can see how her life related to mine when I was her age.
I think its a cool idea.
Instead of just giving her my old diary and telling her to read it. I'll give her one entry at a time.
So she has something to look forward to.
Whatever. I'll probably forget about it haha.

Happy mothers day to all the moms.
Go check out PostSecret.

I have nothing to say really.
But I feel like I should post a lot this week.
Because this is my last week on Xanga.

I'll post one journal a day until I turn 21.
Which reminds me..
Exactly one week until the demise of my liver.

I had off the past week because my family went to the Virgin Islands.
It was nice being alone in a house thats usually full of people.
But, I really dont think I could ever live alone.
And I hope I never have to.
It just gets lonely at night.
At least in this big house.

Erica comes home from TCNJ tomorrow.
And thats about all the exciting news I have.

//:

Bamboozle was fun. :]
My schedule wasnt quite how I thought it would be.
But I got to see Snoop Dogg so I dont even care.

Straightened out the last few details of my party with Tom last night.
Everything is shaping up to be really good I think.
I hope.
About 6 people are coming up from Maryland for this, so I have to show them how us Jersey kids party.
8 days until I'm 21.

Look out for my liver.. it'll be the one waving the white flag.