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Fallen4HIM05
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Name: Bethann
Birthday: 6/7/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: massage therapy, shopping, LOST, music
Occupation: Credential Specialist
Industry: Higher Education
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/5/2003
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| Turmoil in My MindClasses have been going well at Massage Therapy. However, my heart is troubled. We had an ethics class last night and the topic at the end of class was if you were massaging a friends husband and he grabbed you during the massage would you tell your friend? The confidentiality rule does apply b/c I am technically part of the medical field. It is one of our national code of ethics. However, where does my Biblical Worldview, Christian ethics and friendship and marriage come into play in that. Or more of how? The massage would be ended at that point and I would tell the person never to come back. Yet, do I tell my friend what happened when she asks why his session was cut short? Where does my confidentiality stop and my loyalty to friendship start? how do you separate two things that overlap? I believe I would tell my husband b/c it would have stunned me and upset me. Yet the question of confidentiality comes in yet again. How do you correlate what I believe into this profession? How do you argue from a Biblical Worldview with unbelievers? They do not hold the same morals and values you do.
Having never had anything like this happen to me before, trying to perceive how you would react is difficult. I am not a confrontational person and so when I get involved in these types of discussions I close down b/c I cannot process fast enough. However, afterwards I will be in turmoil until I come to a conclusion for myself. I have been convicted lately of how I have not been in God's Word. Part of me says "No wonder you cannot figure this question out....you have not had your nose in the Word!" I have girls I am "leading" to Italy in three weeks and I have been so wrapped up in myself that I pushed God out. He gave me this opportunity to go to school like I have always wanted to, yet my thanks to him is "Ok thanks God, I got it from here!" I have desired to have Habakkuk 3:2 come to life, which says "LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." Yet I close my eyes and turn my back to his wonderful deeds.
Lord, forgive me for my shameful ways. I have wanted to portray you in class, but forgot to ask you to be present in class as well. How can I portray what I am not soaking myself in? How can I impact my classmates and my two girls when I have not been impacted by your Word? Lord, empower me to dig into your Word and make it a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. By your grace I have been saved, not through anything I have done, but by your sacrifice on the cross for my sins, which paid my price to be able to serve you in this life, call you Father, and will allow me to live with you eternally. May God be praised for I am white as snow! My name is in the Book of Life. May your train fill the whole temple...may the whole earth shake at the sound of your name being uttered on my lips! May I say "Holy Holy Holy is the LORD God Almighty!" As John saw in heaven, there came a man who looked like a lamb who had been slain...he was the only one who could open the scrolls. May God be praised for the lamb that was slain for my iniquities!!! I will one day meet my Saviour face to face! I cannot wait! AMEN PRAISE GOD!
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| Reflection of timeNathan and I just celebrated our two year anniversary on May 27, 2008. Time has flown by and we can hardly believe it has been two years since we said "I Do." We have grown so much in that little time! We have gone through our times of difficulty and come out on the other side of the mountain smiling and holding each other closer. Nathan has grown in so many ways! He has become my philosopher over the past year and has gained a drive to be more of philosopher than ever. We sort of laughed about it b/c if you had told him when he entered college what he was like now he would have laughed and said yeah right. However, God has brought significant people into his life to push him more and more toward excellency and drive him to discover more out of life than what meets the common minds eye. He has grown spiritually to desire to know his doctrine fully and know God more fully in his daily walk. God has shown his faithfulness daily to us as Nathan is at Temple and I am at PBU and in school. He has provided more than we could have ever imagined!!
That special man is 25 today. I am sure his mother is reflecting on his birth and his life growing up today and cannot believe how fast he has grown up and what a man of God he has become. My warrior truly is trying to conquer the world one day at a time. In my book....he has done more than conquer the world...he has conquered my heart! He has loved, provided, comforted, raised me up, and cheered me on over the past 8 years of our relationship. We met at a basketball game in Horseheads NY. We connected at first glance and are still more in love now than ever. He is my best friend! I could not ask God for more out of a best friend and life partner than Nathan Loren Jumper. Happy Birthday sweetie! I love you!!!
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| I am officially a massage therapy student!  As of last weekend I started classes and have been LOVING every minute of it! It is sort of like being in pre-med school b/c of all of the anatomy and physiology and pathology and so on and so forth, but it is AWESOME! I soak in everything I can from my professors and want to practice all the time. I just have to get the courage up to ask people if I can practice on them. I am a little shy when it comes to that. I am learning though! God has been gracious to allow me to learn and do this at this point in time. He has provided the right atmosphere and finances to support Nathan and I and continue to live comfortably. He is faithful!
I finally took my weight issues into my own hands. I switched medications in hopes of finding an alternative to being 30 pounds overweight and doing everything I can to loose it and nothing works. I do not expect a miracle, but I guess I am hoping. I am changing things up with dying my hair and so on, but I believe that I need to buy new clothes so that I feel comfortable in what I am wearing. I have put off buying new clothes b/c of the medication change. We shall see what comes of all of this and hopefully more positive news about my weight and self-image will come to pass in the next few months! One can only hope!
Nathan and I are gearing up for Italy. We have a meeting with our team every week and will be sending out support letters this weekend to our friends and family asking them for prayerful and financial support. We are excited to go and are more curious as to what God has in store for us on this trip! We have a great group of kids that we are leading and are getting to know them more and more as time passes and our trip comes nearer. Nathan unfortunately did not get the full teacher assistantship he was hoping to at Temple, but that is ok. We are still waiting to hear as to whether he was accepted into the Master of Piano Performance program at Temple. Hopefully we will hear next week sometime and I will have a happy update as to whether he got in or not.
That is all for not. Not a whole lot of insight b/c we have been so busy with everything going on now-a-days! Thank you all for your love and encouragement as I process through all of these emotions and day to day events that life brings.
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| I have been wrestling with myself something fierce the past few days. I was staring at a few of my friend's lawns and became jealous. One is living overseas for a year to gain that experience and the other is so widely successful that he ends up in the SIFE magazine to represent PBU. After staring at their side of the fence I then glanced back at mine to be the harshest critic of my own lawn. I saw how there were some weeds growing up and it wasn't as lush as the others appeared to be. Appeared being the key word in that sentence. I long to have a lush lawn that others will desire to have. As a person I long to want to make a real difference in people's lives...that's why I came back to PBU! I could not think of anything else I would rather be doing at this point in my life. I love being able to interact with student and still have an impact for their future! But then I look at my friends who have graduated and I feel as though I am not as prominant as they are in their positions at corporations. I was at Vanguard once and hated it every day! That is why I left. My pride comes up inside me and says that I need to prove that I am better than my friend. It then adds this horrible phrase "You were President...He was only the Chaplain!" That's when I begin to compare myself to my friend who is truly intelligent and graduated second in our graduating class! I look up to my advisor's and mentors in the Business Department and proceed to lie to myself and say that they do not approve of me being back at PBU...I am a failure to them. As you can see I have been taking a beating mentally and emotionally this week. I do not think myself an intelligent person in the first place, so to have that come up just made me feel like a complete failure and oh so dumb. I am smart enough to know that I wanted to be a doctor/surgeon when I was little, but knew that I did not have the God-given brain to actually go into that field. The American dream is limited by your own abilities. So that hit Thursday with my friend being in the magazine. On the other side of life I have been struggling some time now with my weight. I have gained 30 pounds since we got married almost two years ago. Part of that I believe whole heartedly is the medication I went on right before I got married. I work out at least 4 times a week and hit it hard with weights and cardio and have not lost a pound. I have changed my eating drastically since January and nothing. I have consulted all of my doctors who have all told me to ask the other doctor or drawn blood, which all tests were normal or negative! I am officially in a depressive state about this. I have no summer clothes right now b/c they do not fit. Things that fit in Disney (January) do not fit now. That's how depressive this is! I see all these skinny people and wonder how in the world they keep themselves like that. Let me remind you that I have been working out HARD since January and nothing! The weight problem has effected everything about me. I am not a confident person like I used to be, I cannot fulfill my wifely duties b/c I am too ashamed of myself, I find myself totally unattractive in any way! I hide in my food either by not eating or eating at Wendy's to make myself feel better. Please know that I only have Wendy's like maybe once a week. I have tried so many things to try and boost my morale and overcome these thoughts and feelings, but nothing has worked. I have prayed for God to help me hold up my shield against the firey arrows of the devil, but feel like I am crouching on the ground just about to fall over from the weight of the shield! Lord, there are just too many arrows!! Why am I not able to say that I am fearfully and wonderfully made? This peice of clay does not want to tell the potter He made me wrong, but my heart is heavy and wants to question its maker. The devil is attacking my mind and has been relentless this week! I am so weary from this battle that I just want to give up and shrink up inside myself. It has been an all out war this week. I guess everyone has their battles...well this is mine. My heart and mind is wrestling over these issues of being content with where God has placed me b/c I am gaining ground for His eternal kingdom and loving how he made me even if it is not my ideal. Lord, give me strength to overcome these things. You know my heart and its cries...you hear them often! I continue to fight, but am loosing this battle right now Lord. Please uphold me with your right hand so that I may defeat my enemy successfully! Only with you Lord can I face my enemy in battle and win! | | |
| Life in the Jumper household has been crazy...absolutely crazy! I finished up my Beth Moore Bible Study two weeks ago. I loved the study, but it began to be a little too much toward the end. It taught me a lot about myself and how I view my theology in relation to my reality. It challeneged me and pushed me to change the way I believe and do some things. Little did I know that when I was given the option of either leading the Believing God or the Fruit of the Spirit I was unaware of how much God was in the situation. At that time I felt as if I was unable to make my own choice as to what Bible Study I wanted to lead, but God was making the choice for me. It was the perfect choice to push me forward and give me the juice I needed to for what God has planned ahead for this year. As I have mentioned before, I begin Massage Therapy school on May 10th. I am so excited I can hardly keep my skin on! This is something I have wanted to do for a while and now that I am able to I cannot wait!! On top of all that...Nathan and I have been asked to help lead a group of teens from our church over to Italy this summer!!!  I was worried about missing classes b/c we will be gone for 10 days, but I spoke with Beth, one of the owners and she was perfectly fine with it and gave me options to make up the missed time!! God has provided above and beyond what we could have imagined within the first two years of marriage! The opportunities we have been given to serve Him and grow has been overwhelming!!! He is provided twenty fold in our lives and given us the desires of our hearts to the fullest!! We have wanted to visit Europe b/c Nathan would love to move over there eventually in life. I am not sure that is where God wants us, but I believe this is a way to find out and see how the Spirit leads while we are over there! We could not ask for more!!! We are dumbfounded at the opportunities that have been given to us and then how beautifully they are orchestrated to work out for our benefit! This week at work was mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. It was web registration and things were so busy that I was the fire marshal for students problems. For example, I would leave my office to go to lunch at 1pm and not get to my car (which normally takes one minute) until 1:20pm. I would be stopped in the hall with questions from students. By Wednesday I was asking my friends to hide me for the rest of the week. God provided enough strength and mental stability to be able to provide the utmost customer service to all the students and show "Christ with Skin On." I slept in until about 9:30am this morning and am now just trying to regain my strength so as to continue on and not be weary. I am very weary though...I see the finish line for the semester coming quickly b/c graduation is in about 5 weeks! INSANE! My one year anniversary with PBU is coming up in July! I have felt like I have been here for 10 years...not one! lol I love what I do even though it has its difficulties...I am not ready to switch jobs just yet in life b/c I love it! I love the people I work with, especially the professors! I have gained friendships since I worked here with professors that I never would have when I was a student. I have gained more in this job than I ever would have in another position. Yet again, another demonstration of God's faithfulness in granting the desires of our hearts!!! The following is a song that reflects my attitude at this point in life. It is My Surrender by Steven Curtis Chapman. I wanted to put Children of God b/c I am so on fire right now, but the words of My Surrender fit exactly what I have been talking about. God may we be reflections to the Italians of a Christian couple who wants to serve You and give our lives in service to You!! We are giving it all back to You as SCC says b/c You gave it to us! We give you the glory for the work You do in our lives! Thank You for using us to Glorify Your Name! May Your Name Alone Be Praised!!!! | | |
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