Hello all. Thought I'd avoid the random bulletin points and just go back to writing a little more fluidly, so here I go.

Oh college. How fun college is...not (at least for now). When people tell you the transition from college to high school is brutal, they usually aren't exaggerating. College is tough. Not to say I hate it, cause in actuality I sorta love it already, but its difficult at first. Things are so different. The homework takes a little bit more time, the assignments get a little bit more complicated, and quizzes and tests become a little more important. But its nothing close to impossible, just a demand for more commitment.

The balancing act that I loved to practice at high school between classes and activities is much harder too. The main reason: the activities are full-blown activities. I auditioned for the musical, Sweet Charity; made it in as an ensemble. Good or bad at first, I didn't quite know. Two weeks of 15 - 20+ hours of rehearsal later, I'm getting the hint that its more of a bad thing.

The experience is great I guess. And its another opportunity to meet some people at new school but its become more of a hassle to me than a leisure. Everybody casted is a pro, so to speak. Whether its theater major or music major or dance major--they all have a tie to the place. What the hell is a mathematics-secondary education major doing in a place like this? And the preparation process works so fast. Music, lines, dances: they all have to be learned one day, memorized the next. And then thrown straight into the fire come blocking rehearsal! It becomes overwhelming...

My stand on theater is that I still love to do it. As to how strong that love is starts to get questioned when I'm spending nearly an entire 24 hours a week to rehearse maybe twenty percent of stage time as an ensemble member. The answer is I don't love it that much to do what I'm stuck doing. I respect the whole "gotta start from the bottom and move your way up" but I'm just not happy. It feels like im isolated a lot from everybody too. Not only from the freshman aspect, but from the male aspect too! Having just 4 males in the entire show, I'm like a double minority! lol. Not to say I don't get along with anybody cause they are really friendly people, but its hard to ignore how its hard to fine someone to relate to while in there. Just let it be know, I'll be glad when the show ends in about 3 weeks.

Will Sean audition for another show? As far as I'm concerned right now, not any time soon. Is Sean done with theater for the rest of college? ...Maybe, maybe not. [I feel like Michael Jordan retiring for the second time, lol]. One thing is for sure, I'm taking this experience as learning process for myself and more importantly, not regretting anything about it.

And theater is just one activity! lol. I pledged to Alpha Sigma Phi and have no idea how to feel about it yet. Granted its only been like 3 days since the ceremony, but I still can't figure out if this is TRULY what i want to do. Everyone likes to party, make friends, and meet new people. But to what extent--that's what college activities have really been making me ask myself lately.

How far am I willing to go to wanting to have a social outting at Elmhurst? Alpha Sig is such a tight knit group. They all hang out with each other all lot--and that's great, really. To be able to make friends that well is something special; however, I'm not positive I wanna commit to anything like that. I am more than willing to make some new friends, and if some happen to grow to be close friends, all the better--but the last thing I wanna do is force Alpha Sig into my schedule far enough to where it shadows over coming back home and hanging out with Chris and Mike back at home. They're always number one priority--and I've yet to figure out if its an "all-in, all-out" participation once your into the fraternity. It's all a confusing process. The more I come to an understand will determine whether I finish or see how long I stand in the entire pledging process...

Enough about the depressing side of my life--onto some positives...

I can't stress enough how happy I am with Gianna. I know its all too cliche to say, but really, I am. Overlooking the lack of experience I've had in the entire relationship business, I really am enjoying what I have with her. Not to be jumping into any boats regarding love-love, cause I have no idea what that word means, but she makes my bad days become good. She's so easy to relate to and connect with--its a feeling I think so people have such a hard time finding in a partner. I feel blessed to have her in my life at time like now.

I may be getting a campus job. I've done an interview, just waiting on the results. Its been a week since, but I'm not putting any alarms up. From what I hear, the managment is pretty slow so I still have hope. I need a job badly, even the money in my checking account is starting to plummet! AH!

...well somehow my free-time has dwindled down to nothing, and this post must end.

Till next time,

SEAN

When its 3:14 am and it doesn't seem like you're gonna be falling asleep anytime soon--that's when you know you've drank too much coffee. Oh well, it drove me far enough to produce another update. Exciting? Of course not, but its something for me to do while I wait for the caffeine to ween out of my system.

• College is approaching quick and that's such a scary thought.
• Who expects incoming freshman to read 3 short stories before attending Orientation? Elmhurst, you're crazy!
• The reality of textbooks never fully exposed itself to me until now: Those suckers are expensive!
• Amazon.com--you are my checking accounts best friend.
• A $150+ book for calculus--Sean, you're so smart for being a mathematics major!
• Somebody remind me to buy my books before school starts.
• August 27 is the day my life becomes something else.
• The denied request to change my schedule is pretty disappointing--second semester I won't be so dumb.
• Who wants to hit up that titty bar? Lol.
• Remind me never again to drink coffee past 11:30 pm --unless I need it, cause clearly, it works.
• The application for Starbucks has been handed in and now we play the waiting game.
• I've sent my notice to Elmhurst about wanting an on campus occupation--now playing a double whammy game of waiting.
• I'm getting better with the less spending. I still have $50 since Sunday!
• Gianna Capra makes me smile. I smile very big because of Gianna Capra.
• As of this very moment, I miss her very much.
• Morning jogs are very refreshing, as surprising as that may sound.
• Anyone wanna sign up for a gym membership--I'd sure like to stay in shape now that PE is out of my life.
• Diet is an issue I will never be able to adjust--I'm sorry! I love eating!
• My dad called me fat and the worst part about it is that he's pretty much right. lol.
• New bass strings always makes me a happy camper. Always.
• Canon in D has possessed my fingers.
• I made the motion to get my amplifier fixed! Woo! Progress! Finally!
• Now to purchase a working universal remote and I'll have my fully functional bedroom again.
• Sometimes I even forget I own a f'ing television set in my room. Its just a waste of space at the moment.
• Toiletries are expensive and I never gave it enough mind to notice.
• My iPod has been a little buggy as of late--I swear if that breaks while everything else gets fixed I'm gonna do something that isn't legal.
• My bed is made for maybe 14% of the entire month.
• Same statistics go for my closet as well.
• After the longest wait for results: I got a 5 on my AP Calculus test!
• It seems like I always have a full hamper of dirty clothes--even after I just finish washing them.
• A stop to Steve and Barry's before summer ends would be nice.
• I could use a couple more pairs of basketball shorts. Maybe some graphic tees.
• Sean needs some new shoes.
• Back to school shopping: What do I need for college? lol.
• With summer coming to the final stretch, there's still so much I want to get done.
• Summer has not been disappointing by any means, though. Absolutely not.
• Has it been a summer to remember---We'll see when it ends.
• I'm a different person completely I think--changes all for the better. Helps for me to feel like I'm moving forward.
• There have been too many failed attempts at watching the sunrise with Gianna--its going to happen!
• A nice open view at the beach would be great.
• Spartans were an impressive bunch of people. Impressive.
• I want an acoustic guitar. How will I rummage $100+ to spare?
• Then you must have the complimentary picks--and guitar stand!
• Having someone who understands you makes it so much easier to the person who has a hard time saying things.
• I find myself the happiest when it gets the quietest.
• Even with the A/C on, I still need an electric fan on top of that to keep me cool at night/morning.
• That just further proves my room has been placed right over the largest volcano in hell.
• Can anyone ever guess how long I actually spend writing out a full entry? ...Long
• Let me just point out--summer feels so much longer without having band consuming it all. So much longer!
• I wonder how the summer-suckers are doing now that we're gone?
• I hope they get their class of talent and potential with the freshman cause they need it!
• I wonder occasionally if I've completely moved on passed high school. I'd say yes, right?
• I'm not very impressive at volleyball. But I'm all for the good time.
• I feel like I've lost a step or two in tennis--anyone want to play sometime soon?
• A new racquet and limited action. That's just a sad story.
• In case you haven't heard, Harry Potter lives. Yup--who would have guessed?
• August 16. What a fine day that'll be.
• Though I did a lot, I'm not feeling very complete today--and I have a hunch why.
• I'm looking at another very unhealthy portion of sleep.
• The trip to go go-karting left me feeling a little hallow. I need faster cars and a bigger track.
• Haunted Trails is a fun place though.
• My mother scolded me for guzzling the gas. I did feel guilty.
• Sean's taking a prerequisite course--who would have ever thought they would see the day?
• Thanks a lot Ms. Uney for changing my entire writing style--Elmhurst College thinks I'm an idiot!
• English 105: Four textbooks! Four prerequisite textbooks! BOO!
• Outdoor plays are pricey. Oh so pricey.
• Theater. What to do? What to do? I mean, I miss it. Can I handle it anymore?
• Same deal for singing. Ditto again for band.
• I love all of these things but the college level is nuts and I was never a special case.
• My room needs more flavor. Its so default-generic-plain.
• Paint job. Let's make this happen.
• I'm still feeling the rush of energy at the 4am checkpoint. What do I need to do?
• I pray I don't oversleep this morning--I wanna see Gianna!
• I remember when I used to wear pick-necklaces. Why I just thought of that...who knows?
• I forget what my class ring feels like on my finger. lol. Maggie I want that back!
• Late night PB&J tastes a lot better than daytime PB&J.
• There is a lot of sliced bread in my house. Maximum sliced bread.
• You never know how important it is to have milk and eggs in the house until you run out of it.
• Strawberry-Banana Smoothies: One of the few things I know how to do right.
• After a whole lengthy-month: I need another haircut.
• I find that when I don't attend the place with my dad, I walk out more content with my hair.
• Facebook is slowly making more sense to me.
• Myspace is losing its touch, but I have faith in good ole Tom.
• Xanga somehow finds itself in the mix about once a month.
• Cubs number one? ...What a thought.
• I know it seems a little cliche, but I think the Boston Celtics are my new team to watch.
• I still got faith in the Bulls topping the Eastern this year.
• Barry Bonds needs to just get this homerun over with so we can all move on.
• Chicago Bears: I hope everybody is prepared for a letdown but you can always keep your hopes high for the hell of it.
• Goal: Attend Cubs game
• Goal: Attend Bears game
• Personal Goal: Attend Bulls game
• Watching Big Bad Beetleborgs at an older age reveals how cheesey of shows I used to watch.
• 10 minutes later and I'm finally feeling a little tired but we're gonna push Sean's luck.
• Slap is a fun card game when you gather the right people.
• New sets of faces every once in a while are nice to have.
• Do I act selfishly? I try so hard to not but in the back of my head, it feels like I am.
• TabIt is the the best way to occupy any excessive time.

And I think I've wrung out all the insignificant thoughts in my mind as of this moment. Hopefully a nice long hour of self analysis is enough for my head to simmer down. To bed I go, where I shall lay for just under a delightful and refreshing four hours for a long laborious half hour work-out. Oh the life I chose to live. S'good.

If you read this: Four and half gold stars are awarded to you.

~Sean

Just because I still can...

Well. Hello Xanga--it's been quite a while now. Funny how what used to be a daily task for me has turned into a rare occasion. I never use this--and I really don't even see why I come back every once and so often to update; no one actually still reads this (at least that's how I view it). And if someone is reading this right now, I dedicate this entry to you lol.

Okay. So Sean Padilla, high school graduate--how is he doing nowadays. To be honest: great. Summer has been treating me well. It gets a little boring here and there, but I find something to keep me busy most of the time :)

Having said that, prepare for trouble and make it double; here comes another roller coaster of thoughts traveling in your general direction to a city near you! ...

• Don't purchase "5" gum. That box does indeed look sexy but the gum inside clearly is not.
• I am running out of money! Big dilemma!
• That $18 an hour job has to start immediately--but by the looks of it I think its been kicked aside
• I must apply for a new job. Kinda sucks its so late in the summer.
• Working on campus should be a fun ride. Let's hope I can handle the entire situation...
• Elmhurst College is looking pretty fun right about now.
• It's a shame I'm so unhappy with my schedule. I pray I didn't write like a retard on that placement test.
• I got a 3 on the AP English--anybody surprised? ...Not Sean
• Still waiting upon that AP Calculus result.  ...please be a 4
• Gianna Capra is an amazing person. Enough said. :)
• Thank God for free mobile to mobile.
• Thank my aunt for unlimited texting, while I'm on the subject.
• I love my new phone. Good thing the old one got owned by Raging Bull.
• It'd be nice to made a trip out to Six Flags again sometime.
• I'm doing Dare Devil Dive, for sure.
• Hopefully I don't break my glasses again. ...But these new frames I think are kick-ass.
• I have not made my bed since mid-June and by no means is that depressing.
• No matter how often I clean up my computer table, it ends up being full of shit in a matter of seconds...
• Have I already mentioned I need money? Cause shit!
• Why do my rechargable batteries never charge to full power? They're on there for days!
• Transformers is an excellent movie.
• Live Free or Die Hard: Excellent movie.
• Snape kills everybody...tell all your friends. Haha.
• I've established the worst sleep pattern in the history of mankind for the summer.
• I really should get my bass amp fixed. It's been like 543 months...
• Sugar Babies are quite tastey as a light snack.
• Paying for gas pisses me off.
• My closet is in need of a slight clean-up around the corners...and everything in between.
• While I'm at it, the dirty laundry should be addressed sometime soon before it overflows the hamper.
• I don't buy video games so often anymore. Thank God for that!
• I buy too much food! I can't believe I've dropped so much money for my stomach.
• Wing Stop is a godscend. I can live off that. Too bad my wallet can't! lol.
• I never understand why I want to go shoot some pool all the time--I'm not very good at all.
• As of this moment, I've been in a swimming pool once this summer. ...Must change.
• And while the water subject is still at hand: I haven't gone to the beach once this summer! Problem: Yes.
• What time does the sunrise? It'd be nice to know what time the sun rises.
• So it's still hard to imagine that I'm moving onto college.
• But I definitely feel that I will never attend Elmwood Park High School again.
• For the first time in my entire academic career since fifth grade, music has left my daytime schedule. ...Shit.
• I really wanted to take Music Theory! ...freakin' Calculus II.
• I just had to be a stupid mathematics major!
• I could always go and join choir or band--but shit! There goes my day spent at school all over again.
• Plus God knows if I could even get into them; what the hell would I audition with?
• It's kind of a shame that Elmhurst's Jazz Band is famous and my high school jazz band experienced makes me hate it.
• I probably wouldn't be able to keep up in their band anyways. ...I spent last year playing "Cleavland Rocks"
• I don't sing as often as I used to--and it's kind of sad. Singing was always fun.
• I love baby chickens. Haha.
• Steak for breakfast is the meal for a man. lol.
• I can't decide whether I bowl better with a 14 pound ball or a 16 pound ball. Regardless Marisa kicked my ass.
• I lost my purple street football in my room somewhere. How the fuck does that happen?
• I wish I played tennis more often this summer. I really like playing tennis.
• Haven't played a round of volleyball either this summer--I really should take advantage of the invites I get.
• A new car would definitely be nice right now. Hell--just my OWN car would be nice.
• Go Karts! Let's go right now!
• I've noticed I never take pictures anymore. This habit needs to change.
• I could use a new pair of kicks.
• And a tennis racquet...
• And a working universal remote...
• And more money! God damnit!
• This debit card and checkbook don't see enough action. ..And they never will
• I'd like to go on a camping trip. That'd seem very exciting.
• Cedar Point!!! ...I better be able to have the money to do this!
• Warped Tour coming soon. Too bad Chicago has the worst line-up for the entire tour.
• As embarrassing as it may be to admit this, Hannah Montana makes me laugh some.
• I am hungry as balls!

And on that note, I think I'm off to get some grub...

~Sean

A General Update

Another update must mean Sean is bored--bored as hell as a matter of fact.

So how are things for Sean--on a scale of bad to good, I'm slightly alright.

Getting on with it, here comes another relentless thought process coming at you:

• I'm going to Elmhurst College and I'm putting my family down the drain financially because of it.
• On the plus side [+ side] : I won a $500 scholarship from John Mills PTA. (Yay, Sean.)
• Placement tests are July 11--Will I remember anything school-related at that point? ...Doubtful.
• On the test subject: AP tests are nothing but mixed feels
• AP CALC: Hey-hey on the multiple choice. STFU free response.
• Thank you God for the wonderful blackout. Retakes May 23.
• I get an A in Calc regardless of my test scores, its kinda nice actually.
• AP ENGLISH: STFU multiple choice! Hey-hey on the essays. No blackout--I predict a 3, a magical 4 if I somehow answered multiple choice well.
• School has ended for me, regardless what any teacher has planned on the flipside.
• C'mon graduation!
• It's been a long year--but its been a good year. Fun year. But its been a long four years lol.
• Third times a charm: After losing 2 dates I got a hold of Amanda lol.
• Prom is in a week and all I've done so far is gotten my tuxedo.
• Maybe I didn't land Mr. Tiger with my second place finish, but get ready for this--PROM KING: SEAN PADILLA. Tell all your friends lol.
• Conference: 0-6//2-6. Reminds me a lot of last year, except the opponents grew 10 times harder.
• Suck it Fenton--Suck it hard.
• I hate 1-Doubs. I hate it a lot.
• ...Sectionals. Ugh. This doesn't end.
• Happy 18th Birthday Maggie.
• I'm tan as hell. Seriously.
• I love my job and everything but I seriously need to make more money.
• Mothers Day + Work. Its gonna suck tomorrow, no doubt about it.
• For being the slack-off period of the school year, I sure as hell have a busy schedule ahead of me.
• I've established in my mind: Choir > Band. Sorry guys.
• My sleep pattern is ridiculous--am I growing narcaleptic (spellcheck that).
• You ever find yourself having a difficult time expressing your exact feelings---I sure as hell have.
• Sometimes I know what I want. Sometimes.
• The safe route isn't always the best route--I've realized this.
• Writing my senior bequeaths has brought me to a realization: I'm a fine arts nerd.
• Nashville 2k7: What an epic tale that is, huh?
• I've yet to hear any news about Hurricane Radisson---maybe they just shrugged it off lol.
• So I need new iPod headphones. And a power-strip. And A/V cables.
• Am I doing the summer show--I still don't know. ...No.
• Am I going to iTi--I at least know I want to but still, I don't know. ...Yes?
• Threeve: It's a combination of the numbers three and five.
• Wing Stop is a godsend.
• What the hell is the Bulls' problem: ...Detriot.
• My feet are fuckin' cold--wasn't it boiling hot 2 days ago?
• I need to take a shower. So I guess I'll be off to go and do that.

Yeah.

~Sean.

Currently Reading Crime and Punishment (Bantam Classics) By Fyodor Dostoevsky, Constance Garnett see related

because it feels like the entire world has abandoned me for the four-day weekend--here comes another xanga entry from sean...

you know, its pretty interesting to go down to the date bar at the bottom of the page and scroll down to last year to see what was going with my life exactly 365 days ago. it goes to show that so much has changed--and at the same time, not a whole lot has either. its weird.

that being said, onto sean and his random thoughts as of 9:00 am (why i'm up? who knows...)

• so i got suspended for three days. how about that?
• i can imagine my AP classes getting ready to PWN me while im gone too
• adding to the fun---i dont get to play the first six games of the tennis season
• so much for going out and buying an expensive racquet...
• lesson to be learned: dont be stupid. (thanks raskolnikov...)
• i still can't get over the fact how much of a dickhead mr binder is: "you think you're gonna graduate?" um. well mr. dickhead, i don't think you know who i am here, but yes. im gonna graduate.
• his wife is a pretty big bitch too. but i wont get onto that. 
• i just made an english reference and feel like driving my head into the wall.
• i finally finished reading that god-forsaken crime and punishment. its a shame that thats the least of the workload.
• i have been sick for almost 2 weeks now. what the hell is wrong with me and why isnt this damn generic walgreens brand robitussin working? oh wait, now i know---its a damn generic walgreens brand of robitussin!!
• the smartest choice for me to do is to actually read and learn my lines for the musical. sean's only got a week left.
• the sound of music--its kinda a boring subject. but i'll make the best of it.
• i pray that tech week and school dont decide to tag-team fuck me. it has a history of doing so.
• theres jillions of work-spots in this production--kinda reminds me of birdie.
• i gotta wear my contacts again---oh no!
• so i have not gone out once this entire four-day weekend, and ive not done a single assignment either: unproduction at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.
• i'm still dying to play that round of pool with somebody---anybody!
• solo and ensemble: sean earned his way to a two. slightly disappointed but upon reflection i know i did not work hard enough for a one.
• i find myself answering the "where are you going to college?" question differently to each person--i really should be making up my mind soon. like. soon.
• sean needs his scholarship fix! somebody give him his scholarship fix!
• so does rank 7 of the top 16 put me on the wall for next year? if it does--SCHOLARSHIP ME!
• while on the scholarship tangent--dollars for scholars is almost over and i think its been a decent job. nothing like chung did, thats for sure. but i did all that shit by myself and i think i brought in a lot of stuff.
• the silent auction however--failure. anybody wanna lend a hand?
• someone remind me to talk to ms uney about a donated prom ticket.
• everybody keeps begging for summer vacation and i agree with them---but i am so scared of what's to happen to me by that point. i think i'm actually willing to wait.
• how the hell do i get back to normal health? cause seriously now...this is kinda ridiculous.

i think thats enough of rant. i dont even think anybody reads this thing anymore but wutever.

~sean