Well well well.  I decided on an apt. complex as plan A, then I'm still deciding on a plan B, but hopefully plan A will suffice.  I got a second job, an office job, where I have to answer phones all day and take orders from catalogues.  It shouldn't be too bad.  I had a good recommendation from someone that was also willing to be my reference.  It starts on the 21st.  This is definitely going to help with my apt.  My ear keeps popping and then getting clogged and it sucks.  So my hearing is still a bit iffy.  My kitty Shyla gets her pretty purple stitches (sutures) out this week.  I'm a bit surprised they gave her purple, but it matches her very girly fur pattern... lol.  She is black, gray, brown, white, and orange.  She has a tortoiseshell pattern.  That pattern is mostly found in female cats because it requires and XX chromosome.  Occassionally though, there will come a cat with an abnormality, a XXY chromosome which is technically male with female coloration possibilites and eye color possibilities and such.  It's actually quite interesting.  Oh, and for you new cat owners out there, milk is bad for a cat after it is weened from its mother.  Unfortunately, my little sister is ignoring me and my mom.  She insists on pouring milk for my two kittens which is not only bad for them, but it's a waste of milk anyways, 'cause my cats obviously don't like the kind she's giving them....  They've proven this. 

Last night Tim and I went to go see Gilbert Gottfried at the Looney Bin comedy club.  He was really good.  You should check out his "dirty jokes" dvd, but only if you can handle very  very sexual jokes.   He's not hesitant with the cussing and slang terms...  He's definitely quite a character though.  For those of you not in the know.  He performed on Saturday Night Live, Aladdin (as Iago), the Aflac duck, and others... but is very known for his standup comedy too.   I'm not sure if I've mentioned yet that I went to go see 30 Seconds to Mars and Kill Hannah in concert at the Cotillion about a week and a half ago.  They were awesome.  They totally kicked ass live.  They really got the crowd moving, literally. You shoulda seen the crowd surfing and the bodies jumping and everything.  It was great.  Light on the mosh pits, but security was tight, even though it was an all ages show, which is why it was a rule in the first place.  It's kinda funny watchin' kids try to be hard core...lol.  It was hillarious.  But at least these kids get that experience.  By the time they get to be my age, it would suck if they had lost interest in this stuff just from lack of exposure.  You shoulda seen the sense of accomplishment on their faces after a good crowd surf too.  My favorite part though, was feeling Tim behind me when we were both moving to the beat.  It was great....

I wish I could write a happy poem, but sadly, most of my inspiration in poetry comes from past events, past emotions, and from other people.  Tim has inspired a couple happy poems within me though, and I like that.  It just hasn't been what I wrote most recently like that which you see below. 

I noticed that in my past relationships, any longer than a month at least, that I always gave a warning before the breakup.  I also made the first breakup seem final, but then gave a second chance, to see if the problems could be corrected or not.  They were stupid, and therefore, did not notice the grace of my warnings, even when seeing the worst case scenarios, lol.  I laugh now at their stupidity, but it doesn't surprise me at all.  The funny thing is, they thought their chances were endless. They didn't realize that I was serious, even the first time.  They had some big regrets.  Shit, I gave one person three or four chances, and that just caused me to blow it up in his face once it was all final.  A second chance is reasonable, but if you screw up a fourth chance, that's just pathetic.  lol. 

I told Tim today about my craving for change.  I'm such a flexible person that I can't stand to do the same thing all the time.  I have to have change in my life somewhere or I get bored with my life and stuck in a rut.  My living situation right now is very monotonous.  There's no room to change or expand, and it sucks.  I don't want to change my relationship at all, so I take it out on work right now.  I also have two new kittens that I can take care of that live with my parents.  That little bit of change and out-of-routine activities is something I can focus my attention on.  When I do something spontaneous,  I don't tend to think about it so much as a week in advance, at the most.  I know that my love life has nothing to do with my need for change now.  It used to, before I hit high school, but I caught on soon enough to not let it affect me personally.  I know that it doesn't affect my love life because all of the breakups I've had weren't always my doing, and when they were, I gave plenty of warning and opportunities to change the problems in the relationship that had developed.  It had nothing to do with my craving for change.  I admit that there were a few times when I had relationship problems that when I smelled change in the air, it looked like a good excuse, when the relationship was failing anyways, but I never followed that craving in a relationship, ever. 

I guess it's all just still on my mind from when I talked to Tim and then I talked to my best friend about it too, cause she's very similar but a little bit different in the way she expresses change, and she doesn't crave it at the spur of the moment like I do sometimes. 

Anyways, until next time.

Keep the fayth.