Pointless Rambling Of The Day
there is nothing more annoying than an almost-50 years-old adult
pouting and acting like a child when they dont get their way
and heaven forbid admitting, that perhaps,
they were wrong.

am i over extending myself to think that a Christian adult would act
in a way other than this?

Pointless Rambling Of The Day
humans are fickle.

i've been frantically looking about for what to do next.
what is the all important next step i should be taking?
God help!

...................then in the waiting.................

i looked around.
the shoulds of the world said i should go back to school and get a Masters,
because then of course i could truly be  something...
something important,  something achieving,
something with a title.

i looked around.
the shoulds of the family, with their opposing sides,
both just wanting the best
both just wanting something more to add on to my resume,
should the need ever arise...
after all, who knew it would be so hard to get a job with a degree....

...............enter the thoughts of inadequacy..............

these shoulds crept in...
these thoughts snuck in...
then enters confusion...

but wait.......

God's call on our lives is not hinged upon
how many selling points are itimzed in our resume,
how many degrees, certificates or internships we have completed,
how many hours we have sacrificed behind a computer, inside a cubical,

God's call on our lives is not hinged upon man's meaures of success..
If He's called you to do something that doesn't need those things,
then what reason is there in obtaining them?
we ought not be governed by shoulds...
but by His Spirit....
after all, its

"[Not in your own strength] for it is God who is all the while effectually at work in you
[energizing and creating in you the power and desire],
both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."
Philipians 2:13

Pointless Rambling Of The Day
 how many people really have no idea what they are doing?
i think a lot.
i know i dont.
i dont know what i'm doing
or what i wish i was doing
let alone what He wants me doing.......

to make matters worse my emotions are wreaking havoc on my ability to reason.

so much has happened in a years time---
and still i haven't decided what i wanted to do....
i've done a lot of things
but i still dont know...
and my heart screams one thing
while my head screams that it hasn't got a clue--- but really should get one
while my spirit softly points out that there must be something else

emotions are strange and beautiful
but so hard to look past

yes, i'm actually posting.............

life is so wierd.
it really is strange. strange.
(yes, i'm still pondering life..)
what really are we doing  here?
and more importantly what ought  we be doing here?
......................................................
i just thought of this chatechism i learned at vacation bible school....
" What is the chief end of man?
Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

whats our purpose?
glorify God--- and enjoy Him.
thats pretty cool-- that enjoy part.
simple enough i guess.
" Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength,
and love you neighbor as yourself"
i guess it is simple.

then why am i so torn?
why am i so unsatisfied?

our fallen flesh screams out for more
more distraction, more entropy......
our inner man screams out for more
more grace,  more intimacy............

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him, who is the the head, that is Christ." eph 4:15

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son...." romans 8:29

"As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when i awake in Your likeness." psalm 17:15