| - HonestlySeptember 19 was a long time agoi've changed as a person since then, some was for the WORST and i really wish i could take it all back but i can't and i guess that made me stornger as a person and my relationship with michael stronger as well. it's really hard right now having him not be able to trust me and question EVERYTHING i do and have to lurk everyday and everything. when i would never do anything to hurt him. i was reading all his old xanga post from when we weren't doing so great yet everyone talked about me and how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. i shouldn't have fucked up so bad because there wouldn't be this huge trust issue between us. i don't want to wait up all the time wondering what hes doing out at 3 am i want to trust him and know hes going to call me right when he gets home even if i dont remember talking to him just so we can tell eachother we love you not so he can yell at me for what he found while he was lurking my myspace. it really sucks to have him not trust me but i am doing everything i can to help him trust me more and more everyday i love him so much almost losing him made me realise i can't go threw the day without him he is my BESTFRIEND, BOYFRIEND, BACKBONE, STRENGTH, LOVE, COMEDIAN, BEAR, EVERYTHING i love mikev with my whole heart and i never stoped since we traded hearts in the back seat of seans car on the way to fresno when we were both so very much in love yet scared at the same time because we had never felt that way before and i get that feeling for him still everyday |
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| well i guess this is growing up |
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