iTunes is on Party Shuffle...my punk rock playlist...

"I'm ready for the next train wreck, a new disaster, cuz I'm getting good at falling down and playing dead."

bring it on...I'm ready for a new disaster.

"Always breaking something.  Always losing something.  I'll figure it out some other day."

I feel like I can't keep track of anything.

"Pretending to recall, the way it was last fall, for lack of better days."

I miss Bryant, I miss Stef, I miss Jen.  I miss last year.

"I can't forget a word you said, and everything it meant."

some things don't get forgotten.

"Lessons learned from all my mistakes.  Can't take them back, try to erase."

Can't take them back, try to erase.

"Feeling dead, the weight on my head is draining me... I need you here more than you know."

Bryant...

"You're in my heart, 3000 miles away.  Right from the start, you were a challenge to me."

Bryant again...

"But I wanna go home."

Ship to Shore...the whole song... it's my stressed out song.

"Who can I, who can I turn to?"

it's up to me.  which, interestingly, is the title of the next song...

"You did it before and you did it again, wasting all the time I've spent... Wish it went back to the way it was, but I know that it can't be."

running on empty, it's up to me

"When it all comes down, I don't wanna be around.  Cuz I know it's my fault, you pinned it on me, why does everything you get off your chest end up in my bed?"

this is starting to sound emo

"All I ever see is one or two feet in front of me.  And no matter how far I get, there'll always be one demon left."

I have no foresight.

"Breathe in, breathe out, reset, cuz tomorrow might be all I get."

good advice

"Here we go again, remember way back when?"

I do...

"All in all this chapter's not bad.  It's a book I'm glad I read....Time- a word we thought could depend on us."

all in all- it's not that bad.

"Get down and stay down.  It's to big a hole to be digging out."

biomechanics homework

So...that's all for this entry.  I like the Movielife and I am the Avalanche.

Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step.

Did you write the book of love?  And do you have faith in God above, if the Bible tells you so?

And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

We all got up do dance, oh- but we never got the chance.

Oh, and there we were all in one place, a generation lost in space, with no time left to start again.

I went down to the sacred store where I'd heard the music years before, but the man there said the music wouldn't play.

The lovers cried and the poets dreamed.

...

these are the thoughts going through my mind

...

I need to go home and I need to see Bryant.

I'm blatantly copying my younger brother, but as long as I include that disclaimer, I don't think it's a big deal.

Five Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

1. I think I have one big secret in life.  If you know it, you know who you are.
2. I use a new towel every time I shower.
3. I don't really like my major.
4. When I'm bored, I design clothing.
5. I get mad at myself when I cry for missing Bryant.  I think I should be tougher than that, but I'm not.

I miss Pieter; I hope he's doing okay.

I miss Bryant; I think he's doing okay.

I miss Phoenix; she's always okay.

I never want to make someone feel like they can't be who they are around me.  Cuz someone I know does that to me, and it's terrible.  I don't think he knows it, but he does it to a lot of people...

I think that xanga might be easier to update than my Rose space, so we'll pick this up again.  For a little while.  People bug me to update, so here goes...

Important Events Thus Far:

I'm the RA for a floor of amazing girls on Blum 4.  They are the reason I wake up in the morning.

I was elected Homecoming Queen, which was really awesome.  Coming to Rose was the best decision of my life.

Bryant and I are engaged!  He is the love of my life, and I couldn't be happier with him.  I even made a fake Christmas card to send out to no one.  It's really cute- it has pictures of us all over the place with cheesy sayings.

I came to this conclusion yesterday-- I am who I want to be, mostly.  I am happy being Danna, and that's a good thing.  A very good thing.  I'd rather have friends than be the best, I'd rather have relationships than great grades, and I'd rather have Bryant than any other guy in the world.  I read this book once, and it said, "If you're smart, you keep happiness to yourself."  People think you're bragging if you tell them your happy news (true story- a girl asked me if I was trying to rub it in when I told her I was engaged).  So what?  This is xanga, and I can say whatever they want.  And what I'm saying to you is that I'm happy with my life.

I'm going to try to get good grades this quarter.  I came to the realization that I haven't actually tried (except occassionally) to succeed academically over the past two years.  I could probably get really good grades if I try.  This will be interesting.

I miss my brother.  Pieter is going through some rough stuff this year, and I haven't known how to help him.  I want everything to turn out well for him.

I want to be in bed by 2:00.  It's 1:54.  It's not gonna happen.

I'm working a lot this quarter.  I also spent a lot of money last quarter.  I discovered last quarter that I was not representing myself fashionably as I would hope to be perceived.  Translation- I had one pair of crappy jeans and the rest of my pants were sweatpants.  So I went shopping and bought clothes I actually feel good in.  I don't think that's so bad.  My mom told me that sometimes, you need to spend some money on yourself to give you confidence, and that's exactly what I did.  I don't think that's shallow- I think that's fair.  I just couldn't feel good about myself wearing sweats to class every day.  So, that's that.  What's the price of self esteem?

I'm in a play in January.  Come see it- it's a comedy.

Above everything else, I miss Bryant.