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| It's been a while since I have logged onto Xanga. Junior year is definitely draining me physically and mentally. I don't have the time anymore to enjoy any of my guilty pleasures. I need the grades, and I need the time. I want a chance to prove to myself that I am able to challenge myself.
I think I have lost some of my morals. The drama around me has caught my conscience. I forgot the ideals I once had. I just had a 2 hour phone conversation with my friend, and she reminded me of who I truly was. Yes, was. I am suffocated by the selfishness that the people who surround me inhabit. I forgot how to move on, and I am in denial of forgiveness. I used to be a bold girl who was not restricted. I used to speak my mind, and I use to know how to release my emotions easily. Lately, I have been holding these feelings inside. I just want everyone to sit down and let their dissatisfactions be heard. I dislike the feeling of holding grudges against each other. I hate how immature 17 year olds can be. People forgot how to let go; their desires and materialistic values have got the best of them. Is this really what we want?
I notice the drama that is surrounding me is starting to affect me emotionally. I am lingering in the past instead of the present. I want to end all this bullshit. It is starting to irritate me, and it is hurting the people around me. When one does not put his/her heart into a friendship then the friendship has already lost its meaning. I dislike how people are faking a friendship. I hate those fake smiles, laughter and conversations. They are lifeless. People are forgetting how to be real. Real friends do not back stab each other. They do not talk behind each other's back. If one does talk badly about a friend, why can't he/she confront the other? Why are people afraid of arguments?
Please end all of this crap. Things will not go back to normal; however, at least all of us will have an understanding on why certain situations occur.
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| 01.26.07
Happy Sexy 17th Birthday to Me!<3
(and Hero!<3)
Today was a very special to me. Every birthday is suppose to be special and full of enjoyment, but today I felt something more. I felt the genuine love and support from my family and friends. Whenever I am being a total bitch and still am, people still tend to forgive and understand me better than myself. It means so much to me to see the smile on everyones' face and show their brightest side. Hopefully, I have shown my most brightest side to everyone as well. I love how even though I do not have any classes with certain friends anymore they still remain as close to me as possible. It's very meaningful and effective. Every one of you really make my day shine more than usual. I LOVE YOU ALL! <3
I want to take this time to thank everyone individually for their gifts:
Mom- Coach: Carly Signature Bag
Dad- Money
Brother- Nintendo DS Lite
Helen- Swarovski Neck Y- Necklace and Studio Pic with Frame
Karen- Tamagotchi, The Devil Wears Prada DVD, and Candy
Joan- Marc Jacobs Perfume
Dana- Puma Lime Green/White Bag
Susan- The Devil Wears Prada Special Edition DVD and a Peach Rose
Mindy- Pyramid Belt and Striped H&M Shirt
Tracey- Denim Skirt and Fingerless Mittens
Mizuki- Sexy Skull T-Shirt and MAC Eyeshadow
Dorjee- Uniqlo PJ Set
Vicki- Turquoise Cardigan
+ everybody's cards and "Happy Birthday" messages. I feel the affection and love I recieved today. I am moved by the people who passed me by the hallways in school and said a simple "Happy Birthday" with an additional hug. Today was like a special day in LALA Land. Thank you everyone so much. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!
<3
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| 12.30.06
I love it when I actually spend time and effort to accomplish something. Whether it is a U.S. history report, a time consuming English paper, or a tricky fashion project, I love it when I put my very best in it. After working my butt off for hours, I would smile to myself that I did it and I'm glad I did so. The feeling is irreplaceable and undefinable.
Sine I don't think I will be able to update tomorrow, I would like to list a couple of my New Year Resolutions. Yes, it has become a tradition for me to do so. Here goes:
1) To become a better person.
2) Put my best into everything I do and accomplish them well.
3) To be able to shine and smile brightly again.
4) No more guilty feelings.
5) Develop my own sense of style for fashion.
6) Never give up my morals.
7) Find my NaNa.
<(^____^)> I'm ready to rock 2007!
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| Ah, I'm in love again. 
FASHION, I <3 U!
hehe.
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| 12.25.06
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody!
Hope everyone take this time to enjoy themselves. A joyful day with family and friends. ;)
Ha! One more month till my birthday! Uh, would you guys prefer Italian or Korean? Tell me when you see me.
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