Ever have one of those days (or months) when your good friend whom you trusted is mad at you and won't tell you why?  What's funny is that i don't care that she's mad at me--i just want to know why.  Like i'm legitimately mad at her for not telling me.  Is that funny?  For some reason it cracks me up.  Probably because it seems junior high: "You won't tell me why you're mad at me?  Fine, then i'll just be mad at you!"  I can't believe that someone as sensitive as i am isn't sad that my friend is angry with me.  I really just want to know why.  Not knowing why someone is mad at me is like baking an apple pie and not being able to eat it.

So the general consensus among people who catch me crying is that i shouldn't get so stressed out.  Probably what i'd say to someone else if our roles were reversed, but that doesn't mean i find it helpful.  I am stressed out.  It's at that point where i don't really need a reason to have an anxiety attack--they just happen.  Anyway, if i can get a ride tomorrow i want to look at my friend's car to see if i want to buy it.  That's a related thought because having a car would help me not to be stressed out.

Well, i should go so that i can find food and not pass out.  Talk to you later, home fries.

My car is broken and i work on the third floor of a hotel.  Strike that, it's more like the fourth floor.  Either way, bad combination.   Especially when people continuously ask me about the thing that's bothering me.  I want to jump out a window.

Other than wanting to jump out a window (luckily my second job and my apartment are on the first floor), i guess life is ok.  It just doesn't seem ok at all in any way. *sigh*  I need to be medicated, but making a doctor's appointment with no guaranteed way to get there is way too much of a pain in the ass.  Makes me want to jump out a window.

I'm currently stuck at my parents' house waiting for someone who can bring me home.  This place is depressing.  I want to go home.  I want my car, i want friends to spend time with, and i want to go home.  Mostly i want my car.

Things That Make Me Happy

• When my friends are home from college
• Snowflakes
• Pictures of Amy Lee or Johnny Depp
• Movies i loved as a kid
• Coca-Cola
• Ska and punk music
• Text messages
• Cool shoelaces
• Kisses
• Nose rings
• Holding hands
• Clove cigarettes
• Xanga
• Sleeping until i'm not tired anymore
• Friendly strangers
• Glitter
• Being unexpectedly hit in the face with a pillow