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FoReVa_LoNeLy
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 5/22/1990
Gender: Female


Interests: WrItInG pOeTrY....SiNgInG....LoOkIn FoR "ThAt SpEcIaL sUmWuN"
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Member Since: 7/8/2003

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Wednesday, July 30, 2003

hey...everyone who cares...yea well i havent said anything in here for a long long time...and no one has answered my questions...and no one has been saying anything in my chatterbox...geez!!! i hate when ppl tell me that im not alone and that im loved...but when they dont talk to me or any thing it doesnt exactly make me feel any better...but hey i dont wanna sit around feeling sorry for my self so w/e...i know that all my friends are busy and they actually have lifes...but i dunno...i just feel all alone... well nuthin has been interesting with my life lately...i just went onthis long ass hikeing trip...it was fun though! yea well...everyone that i love...i hope you ALL know that i DO love you with ALL my heart! i know that i havent been myself lately...well its just becuz...ive been feeling horribly depressed latey...the only thing that is keeping me from going in depression...is...well...i just have to remeber all the happy times ive spend with my loved ones...(you ALL know who you are!!) i love you! even though im not sure of a lot of things...im sure of this...i love you all...Mary Grace, Huyen, Colleen, Joanna, Emily, and Kimberly...thank you all for being with me even though i know i can be a real pain in the ass at times!! lol!...well i g2g!! buh byez!

WiTh ALL tHe LoVe I PoCeSs...

Jessica!


Thursday, July 17, 2003

Ive been thinking a lot lately...i have so many questions...well here they are...i wanna see if any one knows the answers...

why do people love if they know its not forever? why is everyone always fooled by my smile when i am hurting inside? (all except one person...my best friend) why am i alive? will my hurting ever end? will i ever find some one to love me and hold me?? why do i always feel empty? why does my heart feel like a big piece of it is gone? will my tears ever stop? why doesnt no one understand wut im going through? why do they always want me to explain wut im going through? why do i want to die?  why are all my thoughts dark? why do i feel all alone? why do i feel helpless? will my questions ever be answered? or am i destined to wonder...looking for nuthing?

geez! i have soo many questions! i have much much more too!! if n e one knows the answers...please tell me...i g2g...buh byez...

I do love u...even though i am confuzed...the small part of me that is ok...will find out how tolove u all with all i am again...love u forever...

Jessica


Friday, July 11, 2003

 i found these a poem on a website...

 A Hurting Letter

Tears are falling from my eyes,
as I sit and cry at night.
blood is dripping from my heart,
as I try to write.

I have so  much pain,
I'm hurt a lot,
I can't explain all this,
I'm just falling apart.

no one understands,
I don't know where to start
and I don't know where to end.

love hurts so much,
like a thousand stabbing knives,
especially when you have all this pain,
that you wish you could deny.

I'm so sore right now,
my heart is racing fast,
I wish I could forget all this,
and leave it in the past.

but there will always be a memory,
a memory of us both,
how we both loved each other,
and in my heart I'll hold.

I will always hold this memory
even though you won't care,
and the scar you left in my heart
will always be there.

By: Bagdasarian, Irina

Empty

your so empty from me
shame has overcome of what we used to be
your voice echoEs loudly in your empty head
but I cant hear cause only tear I shed
all you do is loath around in your pride
i still cant believe how well you lied
although my love for you is still there
I wish it would go away cause its not like you care
I'll never move on I'll stay hear in pain
hearing your empty voice swallowed in rain

 
by Angie Caywood


Tuesday, July 08, 2003