Day 6

I sometimes wonder why I bother posting when no-one visits, but I guess it's for me.

Okay, that was a negative way to start. The fast is going smooth, but I am weary of myself and my sin and my struggles to survive. I only long for freedom to serve God wholeheartedly and hear from Him again. Perhaps God wants to bring me to that point where I throw aside EVERY weight.

Building the wall. That's what I must do. If I alone place each brick back in the wall I tore down when I failed to pray and seek God..then so be it. If it is a punishment, it is a worthy one. I don't want this fast to end tommorow, I want to go on in a spirit of prayer and fasting and prayer somehow until all is solid and protected again.

Day 1:

here I am. fasting. God is already at work..but it's a steep hill to climb.  This weekend it seemed God spoke to me clearer than ever. he told me I was his hero..a fallen hero tro be sure, but a hero nonetheless. I have never let go of his hand.

Today I worked and did worship practise and was very, very, tired. My arm is hurting like in a weird way. I hate that. Wil waters went to be with Jesus..I am not ready to join him. I have to make some crooked things straight first.

I need hot choclate but there is none. So I'll settle for tea. Sorry to dissapoint anyone who thouht this was a water-only fast.

The day draws near to begin another 21 day fast. Hence; I have returned to record here what God does.

This is our third year. Last year a great victory erupted!!! But around June it all began to unravel until we find ourselves at the end of December with a thin piece of yarn left in our hands.

If God does not move during this fast...I don't know if our church, our world as we know it will survive. We are gasping for breath here.

Deliver me, deliverer

Currently Reading Extravagant Worship: Holy, Holy, Holy Is the Lord God Almighty Who Was and Is, and Is to Come By Darlene Zschech see related

It snowed and the world went mad.

I want to be able to worship wholeheartedly and hear the people worshipping with us. Instead..we are all struggling and sluggish.

...Still dragging the sword toward the mountain, but it gets heavier every step instead of easier. Will I get stronger? Or will the sword begin to lighten? I need the power of prayer to cause my feet to walk and not faint.

The power is simply the distant sight of the mountain and the smell of sulfur that compells me to move forward and save my comrades who are falling at the enemies hands even now...

I am ashamed to admit I have dwelled in the plains..in the land that looked so lush and beautiful from the hilltop. And..well..it is beautiful. truly beautiful Beautiful and deadly. Like Dorothy..you can fall asleep in the plains, never to rise again.

So I look again towards the mountains, where I see the smoke of a great battle, and lift my sleepy, sore body from it's beautiful grave, and drag my sword alongside me as I head for the battle once again.