One-way Ticket to Heaven

 
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one: "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" The first man replies: "I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed.

As I entered my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong. So, I went out to the balcony and there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! I got really mad, so I started kicking him, but he wouldn't fall off. So I got a hammer and hammered on his fingers. He let go and fell—but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay.

I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony." "Sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. See, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and I do my exercises out on my balcony. This morning I slipped andI fell over the edge.

But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony and started kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. I let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Then suddenly, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly. The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I was hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."