hmmmm well lets see... i dont know where to start ..... hmmmmm well i have been thinking lately about who i hold closest to my heart .... the people i think would do anything for me talk so much shit about me behind my back... does this hurt me ....no... does it make me mad.... kinda.... people who want to be treated respect yet show none to u are stupid.... so all in all i have come to the conclusion that i dont consider anyone my friends.... yes there are people i love and care for .... even those who dont believe it... but it seems to me that all in all i cant really rely on any one person totally.... i know that some day i will most likely graduate....move away and only visit texas on the holidays and just like high school .....i wont really talk to alot of people.... thats ok.... i mean im not sad that i dont really talk to alot of my friends from high school i guess... i mean... i miss them .... but im not dying because they r not here.... i know all of this sounds TOTALLY sad and tragic... and thats not me.... i leave that up to other people to be....overall i would say life is grand....well relationship wise.... i have a new bf..... jimmy died... dont let models play with firecrackers.....not good..... but i have decided to move on..... i present to u ....... mikey crandal.......

can i just say how much i heart him..... ummm no ,....i dont have that much time ..... but yeah i do .... he makes me happy.....im trying to not like let my emotions be like aaagggghhhh and fall too fast or whatever..... i hope he is a keeper for a long long time.... i guess we shall see.... but lets cross our fingers.... it makes me smile when people say that phrase.... cross ur fingers.... especially christian people.... the term is from ancient druid beliefs....they used to say cross ur fingers to envoke the power of the trees... it was soon stolen and beaten to death by christians and now people say it all the time..... hehe just useless information for yall...... hehe heres some more..... ok here is a conversation that i had with this dirty old man that comes to my work all the time and tells me funny storys and stuff..... well ok.... there is this black lezbulldyka that is like the coke lady for the kroger that i work at and she stops at the starbucks and gets a glass of ice water all the time.... well she did and left and norm....the dirty old man.... comes up and says..... u know ...i heard she is a lesbian ... and my boss kimberly said..... what is a lesbian.... and norm said ,,, its a woman that likes to eat in bushes...hehehehehehehehe..... ok thats not the funny part,,,, she then was like.... well i know what they are but why are they called that.....well,,,,, me being the sone of a lesbian.... i know the answer..... for those of u who dont know .... the term lesbian comes from when the spartans made all the women go to the isle of lesbos.... located near greece..... and once a year the men would come on ships and have sex with the women and then they would leave.... the women would have the kids and then the men would come back and take the kids and train them to be warriors.... why wouldnt they just let the women live with them....maybe because they were all gay.... well not gay lke we think but they all loved each other... blah blah blah hopefully u all know the story.... well i tell her this whole story and im like...ok there u go .... thats the story.... and she was like well thats just crazy u made that up ..... i love white trash people..... they make me so happy.... well then the old man tells me a story....and i shall tell u all to make my heart happy again..... ok here goes..... i once was in love with this woman and i would always ask her to marry me and fall in love with me and she would say .....i will, once u get me a cadillac.... a 4 bedroom house..... and 12 inches.... so i was thinking to myself OMFG how am i gonna do that....IT IMPOSSIBLE.... so 4 months later i drove up to her house in a cadillac and i walked up to the door and she answered and i said...here u go heres the title to the house i just bought u and theres ur car..... then i pulled out my dick and it was all bloody and bandaged up and she said OMG WHAT DID U DO....and i said ....well u said u wanted 12 inches.....so i had to cut off two.....hehehehehehe i cant wait to be a dirty old man.... maybe life isnt so dramatic then..... maybe

hokay to those of u who read Andrew Whites xanga about this weekend, please let me fill u in on a few things that he left out.....ie the GAY PRIDE ORGY 2005....ok well on friday i went to work and then i went home and met up with chris....i got beutiful and we headed to houston for a lovely day at the galleria and maybe a few parties.....well we get to the galleria do some shoppin get staired down by guys and whatnot... well i get a call from Andrew and he tells me that he got us a room to make the shirts for gay pride and that brad was there waiting for me.... he sounded kinda weird but i justt passed it off as maybe he was tired.....well we walked around the mall a little more when i got another call from brad.... he told me that i needed to hurry and get there cuz he really wanted to see me, he then let out kinda a little moan that sent my rod into a throbbing mass in my pants... I knew then that i really had to go to the holiday in in willowbrook

when we got there we saw andrew he was on the phone AS USUAL ...well he charged me a card to get into room 215.... he said brad was waitng there for me.... well walking in the door chris saw some guy that he had sex with before so he left me and went to go have sex with him .....imagine that ...... bye chris....... i know whats waitin for me....some brad crain lovin.....so i go to my room

i walk in and there is Brad crain standing there fresh outta the shower

he looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes and he didnt have to say a word......i already knew what he wanted.... to fuck .... i walked up to him looking in his eyes... neither of us said a word..we came in close and shared poosibly the hottest passion filled kiss. brad... being the masculine man that he is.... pulled me in close, i felt his quivering member pess hard against my body. Brad slowly began to take my clothes off with his teeth...he began to pull my pants down slowly while following his tounge down my madg... hes kinky like that..... he really likes to show off his madg as u can see here

before i knew it there were standing there in my sproingy underware...brad goes commando so he had none to begin with.... i couldnt stand it anymore brads prick was poking me over and over stadning there, as if it was begging to be touched so i did.... i layed him on the bed and pushed hi head over the side of the bed like this

i worked my tounge all over his wet shower soaked body and loved to feel his body quiver with my every touch. i worked my way up his body and when i got over by his nipples he whispered to me... lick my madg and i was like....what.... and he said....lick my madg and then i was like thinking im my head....hmmm ok i have been asked to do worse...... so i started licking his madg..... i have never heard him moan so loud .... he grabbed my hair and pulled me up to his face and we were making out for a while when I decided to get a little kinky on him.... i moved up to his eye and was about to lick it when he said......what r u doining......why are u licking my eye..... so i didnt .... brad got scared of what i might do next so he grabbed me quite forcefully and flopped me on my stomach and went down to give me a rim job ....this is what that looked like

it was sooooo amazing... i loved it .... i couldnt stand him teasing me so much so i just screamed out .....ok.....STICK IT IN.....ohhhhhh did he... he had me bent over for a good half an hour just giving it to me over and over ohhhhhyyeeeeaaahhhh ... ring ring ....what was that...ring ring .... oh shit his phone was ringing ....there was no way that he was gonna anser it ... he was....and did

HE TOTALLY PARIS HILTON ON ME !!! well it looked like it was a good thing....it was andrew.... he was on his way up ..... me and brad jumped into the shower and washed each other off.... andrew walked in while we were in there wearing nothing .... talk about a hot 3 some....lets just say it ended with us in the sproingiest position ever..... andrew got tired of switching partners and asked us to do something kinky .... so we got out of the shower .... got a bucket of crisco and told him that me and brad were goin to fist him....he was a little timid at first....

but once he lossened up me and brad got to take turns ....talk about fun.... he came like 3 times ...it was hot.... brad was so funny he totally did a magret cho and said whos ur daddy ....and andrew through the pain said...BRAD...and he said....thats right bitch ...it was so adorable..... well after he came for the 3rd time .... MARK called..... he and jason and chris and scot were comming....the more the marrier....but more on that adventure later..... we had to let andrew rest after all that action..... poor baby......

we all took a shower and got cute and laughed and giggled about that whole ordeal.... we told each other that we would never tell anyone about it  so thats why im writing it in my blog so i can read about it when i want ... and nobody will ever know......nobody.....nobody.... ill never forget that night or that gay pride weekend.....never.....never.............never

Currently Listening JoJo By JoJo baby its you see related

I was on my back from work today when i got a call from a good friend of mine.....some of  u might know her......ms Dolly Parton...

.Dolls as she likes me to call her..... well she said that i need to come to dollywood some time soon......

for those of u who dont know i am a costume designer by trade.....to say the least...... well i used to design for dolls for a year and a half ... right after i graduated high school.... well it lead into designing her wigs and doing her makeup .... it was really alot of fun....but like all good things it had to come to an end... one day andrew called and said that barbs keeps calling him wondering where i was and why i havent been out to see her in LA anymore and just screaming at him and he said she just wouldnt stop calling.....ok....maybe i should back up ..... my last few years of high school i was a fashion consultant to barbs...... sorry....yall dont know who barbs is....i need to start calling people by there real name.... Barbra Streisand

this is barbs attacking a destuctive bush...not george bush...... why would anyone want to do that ...no she just hates bushes...... which is why .....her and dolls DONT GET ALONG.... which is so sad, cuz they are such empressess in the gay comunity that it is sad that they cant get along...i think if dolls barbs an c got togather......c being... cher... how am i supposed to shorten CHER....anyway....if they got together they could be like an ultimate gay leader .......they would look alot like this

....but with lots more glittery things.....

welll anyways......back to the subject.... andrew called..... well he said that barbs was mad... it seemed that dolls had sent buch protestors to barbs house

it looked kinda like this

as u can see there is a person in the croud that says we <3 bush ..... and as we all know....because i said so ..... barbs does not like the bush..... u would say she was anti bush like these people

now let me say again....im not talking about the president bush....why would i hate him.....he is so nice to the gay comunity ..... he is a sweetie pie he doesnt look like this

he looks like this

ish ..... well he aspires to look like this...with a little reconstuctive surgery anything can happen ...... well anyway.... barbs was noooottt happy that these tree huggin hippies of dolls that were protesting her hatered of bushes..... who cares if barbs likes or dislikes bush..... i sure dont....but then again....who cares if dolls likes bush.....es.....bushes.......i sure dont.....ish....but these people sure do.....

for those who dont know.....these are tree huggin hippies.... there mean lean "the man" hattin machines.... they dont take nuthin from nobody...its all about peace and love and .....of course...... no bush hateing....... yes hippies love bush contrary to poular belief..... and they hate people that dont like bush.... almost as much as they hate taking baths ..... well HERE I AM .... stuck in the middle of a battle between two of my oldest and dearest friends.... barbra steisand.....and Dolly Parton..... it made me so stressed i had nothing to but run.... my friend mario always judges me for running away in situations that i cant handle ....well this was one of those situations.... i ran as far as i could till i went into this small bar were people were singing like kareoke..... .... nothing makes me happier than some kareoke..... well i was sitting there listening to the horrible people sing when out of nowhere this old man gets on the stage and says that there is a new talent right from the small town i was in .... he presented this young girl .... beautiful in every aspects of the word..... she got up and sang a song that still to this day rings true in my heart...... she sang......

Can somebody explain to me
Why everybody is trying to be
Living like a celebrity
Doing what they see on MTV.
That's cool but I am looking for more, simple things is what my heart beats for.

Cause that's me
I don't ask for much
Baby
Having you is enough


You ain't got to buy nothing
It's not what I want
Baby it's You
We don't have to go nowhere
Its not what I want
Baby it's you
It's not for what you got
I know you got a lot
No matter what you do
You always gettin Hot
It's You,
It's You
Baby all I want is You Yeah

It doesn't matter that your car is fly
And your rims are spinning on the side and
It doesn't matter where we go tonight
Cause if I'm with you I'll be alright.
That's cool but I'm lookin for more
Its your love that my heart beats for.

Cause thats me
Don't have to spend a dime
Baby
I just want your time.


Ooooohhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.......

Yeah Yeah Yeaey Yeahey Ye Ye Yeay

 

 

I think i started crying after the second yeah yeah yeah .... it was beutiful.... i knew that i had to get dolly and barbs together and let them hear this angelic voice of this girl who at this time was just know as jo..... well i talked to dolls and barbs and convinced them that i was by myself and i needed me to meet me at this small bar to "talk"..... well a few hours later they arrived..... dolls showed up first and then she was wonderin what was wrong and whatnot....then barbs walked in and dolls said.....WHAT IN SAM HELL IS THAT VARMET DOIN HERE.....ok i dont know what it is about that word that tingles my tummy....so i laughed a good five minutes at dolly for saying Varmet.... she just stood there and was like....WHATS WRONG HUNNY....OH...ITS CUZ I SAID VARMET AGAIN HUH.... well i stopped laughing and told them that all this fighting need to stop and if it did they ...along with c .... could rule the gay world as we know it .... well it took alot of convincing to even sit down and let me try to explain where i was comming from...but me meaning sooo much to them ...they sat down to listne to me....i told them....ladies...i dont think that i have the right words to tell u how i feel....so i give u jo....well jo wasnt there so i screamed...JO....and then she saw me and ran out and sang her little song that was sooo amazing..... poor adorable girl... she was so scared...

 

 well she finished and i looks over at dolls and barbs and they were balling.... dolly and stood up and said jo JO u are the greatest... and barbs stood up ...gave a look to dolls...and said...yeah...i think so too.... u have made me realise that hating bush is pointless..... cuz as MUCH AS I HATE BUSH.... someday....IT WILL DIE.... and i will never have to worry about it .... well as for me...i was now friends with both ladies.... and now... a good friend to my new friend Jo ... but u might know her as jo jo ...she felt that since dolls called her it...it was just meant to be.... to my new friend jojo ...thanks for eveything...i heart u girl....

.... so yeah .... thats why dolly called i guess.... just to check in with me....invite me out.... anyone want to go to dollywood with me.... HOLLA.....

hokay..... well i have had the past two days off.....my plans were to sleep in.... clean my house a little.... spend some time with my Jimmy... like my life..... plans went wrong.... sunday night i get a call from jason...aka "yonkee honkey"..... well he was crying really bad....... this seems to be the trend in my phone calls lately..... homos cant call my when they are happy ....they must be hysterically crying and whatnot.... well he said that i needed to come to see him and andrew right then and there.... i asked him why and he told me that it was very important and that i needed to just get there that he couldnt tell me over the phone....well i didnt  know if it was just jason being like a drunk ass or what...but something told me to go...i had been trying to call jimmy all day long and i got no answer.... he wasnt out of out on a photo shoot .... if yall dont know jimmy has changed his name.... he got a job for abercrombie and they said that jimmy jacobs was way too juvenille.....i told him that bling bling was more like juvenille.....he had to explain that they were not talking about the rapper.... but no.... so he changed his name to joeseph sawyer....now he take pics for them as this joseph person...he will forever be my jimmy

ok well i get dressed and i head over to the lovely town of spring to see...i have to admit i did speed...but just a little..... well i get to andrews house....cuz i know where that it is .... his little sis gracie meets me out in the front lawn and give me a hug and she is crying ....ok so now i know something is wrong.... i asked her where andrew was she said he was inside... i walked in and i saw andrew on the couch .... he was looked a little beat up...i ran and began asking what was wrong and what happened.... andrew looked at me with those watered up puffy puppy dog eyes and began to say something but passed out.... jason said he had to give him a roofie cuz he wouldnt calm down... ok i had had enough...>WHAT IS GOING ON!.... i kept getting the run around... well jason sat me down and told me that something bad happend..... he said that all of the boys and gracie were going to HEB again, because they were all planning a secret party for me.... a kinda post wedding party for me and jimmy.... well jason said that that it was him andrew jimmy marc the shark and chris his new boy....heres a pic

OK well they were in the produce section and they were buying cucumbers to make andrews famous cucumber potato salad.... sounds gross....tastes DELICOUS.....anyway... they were casually picking out the cucumbers ....well i dont think a group of gay guys can do anything "casually" odds are is they were drawing attention to themselves by like pretending to fuck each other with a cucumber or something.... but jason said that before they knew it they were surrounded by a posse of rootin tootin cowboys from the rodeo....they aparently have a big training facility in spring...who knew.... but jason said that one of them came out of the group and said..... HEY U FAGGOTY VARMET....... ok so u know all those queers had to laugh at his ass cuz he sure did say VARMET....well the cowboys were not too happy about that... the lead one walked up to my kimmy and said....DID U JUST LAUGH AT ME U NO GOOD SUNOFA GUN ... and my Jimmy said YEAH MUTHA FUCKA I AM.... well then all the rest of the boys started cheering him on and yelling all these insults and whatnot... well that was when CALAMITY ENSUED..... there was cucumers a flyin and the prduce section soon looked like a disaster area....ok so we really need to rethiml before we go back to heb again..... i work at kroger now ....i need to take up on the discount..... this is just getting rediculous jason..... said he was picked up by this big guy named bubba and thrown into a ceral display and he got up and ran .... he said..MY ASS WAS NOT GONNA BE NO MATHEW SHEPARD IN THE GOD DAMN HEB.... so he ran for help..... andrew was thrown into a buggy and then two big cowboys pushed them as fast as they could into the dairy section....milk was everywhere..... they had taken  marc and my jimmy and chris and they blinded them with the mexican cornbread mix marc had in the cart.....well they were tied up and taken to the secret hideout of the rootin toootin cowboys........

well here we were... me and jason...andrew passed out..and gracie crying her eyes out.... me being the one that always makes the plan .... i felt i needed to MAKE A PLAN.... well first we needed to round up our posse.... well what we had left.... and possibly some recruits.... where to turn to.... we got our closest friends and set out all over montrose we went to every bathhouse and leather bar looking for our roughest toughest rag tag group of gay men.... we found these leather daddys at rip cord

these were OUR cowboys

these french cavaleers

These football players

Even some of the local police officers helped out .....

and that lady...i mean man.......

and our first live of defence...... DRAG QUEENS .....TALK ABOUT ROUGHEST TOUGHEST FIGHTERS THIS COUNTRY HAS......

well it was set.... we had our posse now ..... all we needed to find out is where they were....well ..... for those of u who dont know ....gay people know where all people are.... we are more effective than like the fbi...... we have known where osama has been for over a year now... some iranian guy named punjab blew him in a cave and inserted a tracking devise....well u know where..... well it only took a few phone calls to find out that our boys were being help captive in uganda..... UGANDA?..... we could totally tell that it was definatly straight guys that held them captive.... uganda is like sooo old...nobody holds people captive there anymore.....straight people .....what are we to do with them..... well  we had to find a way to get there.... one of our recruits had a sugar daddy that had a fleet of aiplanes...the ones that can get into rural parts of uganda.... I PRESENT....... AIR RAINBOW

welll we had about 70 of these planes..... he was a rich sugar daddy i guess...... ok well me jason andrew....who by this point was fully recooped and ready for action, Brad.... cuz he says he goes comando all the time.....whatever that means....i just knwo that comandos are good for fighting.... scott also rode in our plane....for the fat that the rest of our posse was just too much for him and he was scared....and of course the lovely gracie........ well the plane ride over we so much fun ..... we saw so many rainboes goin over....we thought this to be a good sign

well we arrive in uganda like ummmmm we will say 3 hrs later.... sure that sounds about right....we wer so drunk and fucked up that we really didnt know .....it pretty much felt like 5 min.... well we get there and we travel to the rural jungles and we see the hideout from the plane..... it was all history from there.....it was like a mass world war two fighter plane battle...it was so much fun we were so fucked up that brad thought it would be fun to like land the plane into a river right bye the hangout...well all the other people saw and followed.... so 70 rainbow mutha fuckin planes come a' landing in the god damn river....alll the cowboys saw and were waitng for us .....ok now to give u a visual...... lets take all the western shootouts u have seen......now throw glitter on it...... ok lets think BONANZA ..... with style and LOT OF JAZZ HANDS AND SPIRIT FINGERS...... well this was the battle of the mo's and the cowboys.... it ended with a reuniting of me and my jimmy....andrew and marc....and jason and chris..... we were all standing on a hill kissing .... as the hundreds of gay people around us clap and cry.... as the camera pans away.....it was just like the ending of a movie.....it was amazing....we then decided that we would have a huge circuit party ........ i present UGANDARAMA ....WHITE PARTY.......WATCH OUT.....heres some pics

Britney brought out that damn snake again....well actually she was singing and it fell out of a tree and attacked her....kevin thought it was funny..... the Britney queens and drag queen look alikes broke there nacks trying to save her....it was all good...... cher tried to come but she got lost...... there were lots of understudys for her ....

if he could turn back TIIIMMUH...... he would realise he NEEDS TO STOP THAT SHIT.... hmmm well theres lots more but i dont have time to put them all on here..... but lets just say.....it was the best 2 days of work that i have had off in a long time.....thanks guys.....I LOVE U JIMMY.....and andypandy and yonkee honkey... I HEART YALL AND OUR BFS ROCK....i hate yall bitches for making me do this....im such a loser lol I NEED A REAL BF

Currently Listening Stevie Wonder - The Definitive Collection By Stevie Wonder livin for the city see related

LOST BROACH..... REWARD IF FOUND.....

ok so today at work i was soooooo tired last night.... we went out to halo and went to the drag show and i saw my brian newman and got to touch him inappripriatly.... well i got home at 330 in the morning and i had to get up for work at 630....needless to say i was dead at work..... well here is a funny story from work today.....so there is this lady named debbie that works with me and one of them said the word flasher.....and we were talking about how if that was a way we sold coffee.....it being that early and me feeling like shit i almost threw up at the thought of them flashing people for coffee.....well then debbie starts saying shit about the show the naked chef and tries to tell Kimberly, my boss.... well she tells kimberly that the naked chef is this cooking show in engleng.....yes this is true.....well then she says that it is a show that is this che that cooks in nothing but a apron.........ok so apparently she has never seen the naked chef.....this is the naked chef

not naked as u can so see....and she also tried to convince us that the show was on HBO...... oh those cray white trash woman...... but ANYWAY....to the big delemma..... KIMBERLY HAS LOST HER BROACH.....if u have ANY knowledge as to the whereabouts of the to it please contact me.....ok so the really creepy part was that i wanted to take a pic of kimberly so i did like a candid pic of her ....this is her in all her glory.....she looks really big in this pic i dont know why i mean she is big but not this big

ok so as i have mentioned before she has such taste in her assesories.. such as he marabu feathered broach....as pctured here

well it was so funny cuz she didn know i took this picture of her broach i took it cuz i just wanted to show yal how cute she is.... well she went on break and came back and put her hat back on AND THE BROACH WAS GONE.....she began to cry and fall on the floor....u see her daughter had given it to her for mothers day at dollar general....i felt so bad so i began to ask around ....well i looked all over and asked everyone i know that had been in the starbucks area.... well my suspicions point to old mrs lavonda in the deli but u didnt hear that from me...... but if there is anyone who knows the wereabouts of the broach... it is green with a rinestone cross on it ..... i am collecting an award for anyone finds it.... it is worth tens of twentys of cents.... i will hope that all my friends can pull together and help out poor poor kimberly..... thank you so much....