| "I ask..."
Did I come home to the right house tonight
When I left, these rooms didn't seem this dark
Is this con-man I'm talking to really my Dad
I look at him and feel so far apart
I asked you a simple question
One I thought I already knew the answer to
But the absolute silence left me wondering
Why did I put so much of my hope into you
All the years of life we spent together
Came to a halt with a new fact I had to face
Inside that almost lifeless body of yours
Was not any room for me but space for hate
I saw nothing of regret in your eyes
So I tried to glance into your chest
But in the darkness I came across no heart
I found many dead ends and emptiness
Were you ever really there at all, Dad
Or had this been the real you the whole time, and I didn't see
Did you change from loving to unloving
Or had you never felt anything towards my sister and me
I look into my own self now
And search for any feelings still left inside
But lately I just find the plunge to the bottom
Without seeing a simple joy for life left behind
With my heart still scarred and broken
You said "I Love You" and it made things worse
My stomach dropped and my eyes filled with tears
I hope you never say that again, it only makes me hurt
If I can't trust when you say those words
Then they're just meaningless lies I don't want to hear
Father, I have to give you up
It's the truth you bluntly helped me realize so clear
I'm so lost and confused inside now
Is there such a thing as real love
Are we all faking to care for someone
To cover our selfish monsters up
Am I like you and I can not tell
Is there a chance in the world left for me
Do I have what it takes to really love someone
Or will I be like you and pray for everyone to leave
I hope that what love people give me is true
And I hope what love I give is real
Will I discover your evil inside of me to
And grow up to be a woman that has yet to feel
I expect to be alone from now on
I'm waiting for everyone to abruptly
say goodbye
For the day everyone says I'm not worth loving and lets me go
I'll take it all in, and painfully and honestly won't be suprised
So go ahead and tell me the words
That he did not have enough courage to say
Or leave me at the end of our last conversation with silence
And I'll fill in what you left out as I wipe these last tears away
|
| |
|
so i'm pretty much going to use facebook from now on and not xanga... so look me up! |
| |
| So I now work @ Hollister. Pretty cool, it looks like an easy job! My birthday party was awesome I loved it! I put pictures up on my facebook. Hmm. Well bye. |
| |
| IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
I wanna go to the movies so let me know if you want to tag along lol. My party is this Saturday.... hmm I hope it will turn out good! Shelby and I are better now, things were awkward for a little bit. And Matt's amazing, the best boyfriend ever. I wish every girl could have a guy like him haha. Bye! -Adrianna |
| |
