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Monday, June 02, 2008

  • Finally...Moving On With My Life!


    Current mood: blessed

    So the past couple of weeks have been very difficult.  I thought I loved Ryan and we were engaged to get married.  After 2 weeks of engagement, he cheated on me with some bi-sexual girl and I was in the next apartment over...dishing about how much I would miss him while he was at basic.  What happened after that is now history.  Ryan was my Lesson - I had to Learn.  I've moved on with my life now.  One day, that girl is going to leave him...and he's just going to continue in that same sick cycle.  And he will start missing me and finally realize that I was the Best thing that's ever happened to him.  When that day comes and he sees how much he actually loves me....I'll be waking up next to the man that already knows.  I deserve a better man and I am fully aware of what all I have to offer - and that's a lot.  A man that gets me will be Very lucky....and he will know that.  I deserve a man that can and will offer me all that I would offer to him - and I will find him.  Actually....I'm going to wait.  He will find me.  I deserve to be pursued.  The man that treats me like a queen will be treated like a king.  You know, they say that when you've had a bad man...it's makes you appreciate the good one.  But honestly...I think this whole ordeal has made me to appreciate and love myself.  I am strong.  I am confident.  I am me.  I know who I am and what I'm about.  I want to leave a mark behind and not be forgotten.  I want to make a difference.  I want a man who is confident in the same.  Not superficial.  No lies...no bull...no games.  Honesty.  Loyalty.  Faithfulness.  That's what I want - and I will accept nothing less. 
    Some may say that's a little early for me to think about anyone else.  But I disagree.  You see, I'm not wasting my time anymore.  I refuse to dwell on the past when it is only dead to me.  Of course, there are memories I will never forget and things that will always be there.  But instead of looking behind me into the darkness - I am looking ahead into the light. *Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together*  You know, I went to a wedding this weekend - one of my best friends, Ella and her man Ronny were married.  A lot of people were feeling bad for me saying things like, "It must be hard going to this wedding so soon after your breakup - I know you had yours almost planned."  But no it's not hard.  It actually helped.  You see, Ella's little sister (Meagan) came up to me the morning of the wedding and I mentioned that a song they were using was going to be used at my wedding...but not anymore.  Meagan got this sad look on her face and said, "Awww...Ava.  I'm sorry."  And gave me a big hug.  I told her that I wasn't sorry.  Because the way I see it, God saved me from a bad relationship that was not a part of His plan.  This wedding gave me hope in knowing that the best is yet to come.  Someone better is out there and they are exactly what I've dreamed of my whole life.  And I'm telling you...when they are mine - they will know it.  But then Meagan got a big smile on her face and lit up like a Christmas tree!  Lol!  But that is how this all ends.  The drama is over, the pain has subsided...and the sun is peeking through the clouds again.  *I can see clearly now that the rain is gone*  The winds have calmed, the rain stopped, the thunder quieted....and all has been calm for a few days, just like after a HUGE storm.  And this weekend it seemed that the sun shined brighter than it ever has before, flooding into every dark space left in my heart.  I cannot really explain the peace I have now, the assurance that everything is going to be better than ok - but wonderful, or the gratefulness I have towards God for His strong hand in all of this.  Because everywhere I look, when I look behind me....even though I thought I couldn't see him then - He is Everywhere.  He's carried me through the night and put my feet back on the solid ground again. 

Saturday, April 05, 2008

  • My Kitties....LOL

    I made these on ihasacheezburger.com with my cats pix and captioned them.

    This is my kitty, my baby dirl...Princess
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    This is Princess and Midnight...
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    This is playboy...our gimpy cat - he is so cute and sweet...
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    And my baby...Midnight again
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    And Grrr...yes that’s his name (Grrr)
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    And Ryan’s kitty - Mercades
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    And the group pic....LOL - princess, midnight, mercades and playboy
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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Monday, March 03, 2008

  • Considering Moral development...who will you vote for?

    Considering Moral development...who will you vote for?
    Current mood: adventurous
    Category: News and Politics

    Abortion: 
       Clinton-Favors abortion rights.
       Obama-Favors abortion rights.
       McCain-Opposes abortion rights.Would not seek constitutional amendment to                     ban abortion.
       Huckabee-Opposes abortion rights and favors constitutional ban.
    My opinions - Clinton and Obama are ridiculous, if they will favor murder...what else will they give in to?  And Obama is a self-proclaimed muslim converted to Christianity, which was a cleary political move because no American would vote a terrorist into office.  But then again, what Christian would approve of murder?  McCain, at least he opposes abortion...but would not want it banned?  Sounds lukewarm to me.  Huckabee is the bold one to really stand up and defend.  Go Huckabee!

    Gay marriage
        Clinton - Opposes constitutional amendment to ban it.
        Obama - Opposes constitutional amendment to ban it.
        McCain - Opposes constitutional amendment to ban it.
        Huckabee - Opposed. Amend Constitution to ban it.
    My opinions - I really don't have to say much...you can clearly see who the real Christian and man of God is who would run the country under God.

    Campaign finance
        Clinton - Has raised more than $20 million for the general election,  in                                  anticipation of not using public money and its associated spending                          limits in the fall.
        Obama - Campaign is hedging on his proposal last year to accept public                              financing and its spending limits for the general election if the                                  Republican nominee does, too.
        McCain - Co-author of McCain-Feingold campaign finance law pledges to run                     general campaign on public financing money and its spending limits if                     Democratic nominee agrees to do the same. But turned down                               federal matching funds for primaries so he could spend more than                         the limits. Is defying a Federal Election Commission letter that said                       he needs FEC approval before withdrawing from the primary public                     financing system.
        Huckabee - Has run primary campaign without public financing.
    My opinion - Ok so I've got to give Clinton credit where credit is due...just like her husband, she knows how to spend and save money.  She would do our economy a service in this area.  Obama is spending his and everybody's money...don't think he would help us much.  McCain is spending more than his allowance and defying approval for his financing...he would steal away from our country.  And Huckabee...hasn't used any of our money at all...I kinda like that.

    Iraq:
        Clinton - Voted for war, opposed troop increase, has not committed to a                            timetable for completing a withdrawal.
        Obama - "Our combat troops out within 16 months." Opposed troop increase,                    spoke against war at start.
        McCain - Opposes scheduling a troop withdrawal, saying latest strategy is                          succeeding. Supported decision to go to war, but was early critic of                      the manner in which administration prosecuted it. Key backer of the                      troop increase.
        Huckabee - Now faults Bush for not sending enough troops to Iraq at the start.                       Supported the 2007 troop increase and would not withdraw forces                       any faster than recommended by commanders.
    My opinion - Clinton is so open and not direct on the Iraq situation...can we trust her to make a final decision.  Obama wants the troops out asap...therefore leaving the mission we started a mess.  Does he want to bring the war here to our homeland?  Does he want America to look weak and scared in the face of danger?  Does he want America to be too selfish to defend itself?  McCain and Huckabee are on the right track in this issue...finish what you've started. 

    Stem cell research
       Clinton - Supports relaxing restrictions on federal financing of embryonic stem                     cell research.
        Obama - Supports relaxing restrictions on federal financing of embryonic stem                     cell research.
        McCain - Supports relaxing restrictions on federal financing of embryonic stem                   cell research.
        Huckabee - Opposes relaxing federal restrictions on financing of embryonic                            stem cell research.
    My opinions - Everyone except for Huckabee is all about relaxing the restrictions and spending our tax money to play with embryos (which is what we were in our momma's bellies).  Who are we to play with life?  WE ARE NOT GOD!!!!

    All Other Issues......
     
          ***Clinton -

    _Campaign finance: Has raised more than $20 million for the general election, more than any other candidate, in anticipation of not using public money and its associated spending limits in the fall.

    _Cuba: Consider responding positively to "some action that demonstrates they are willing to change" in Cuba. Not willing to meet new Cuban leader Raul Castro before Cuban policy changes.

    _Death penalty: As first lady, lobbied lawmakers to support her husband's expansion of the federal death penalty. As senator, co-sponsored law that requires and helps pay for DNA testing for people sentenced to death under federal law.

    _Economic stimulus: Proposed $110 billion stimulus, including $40 billion in tax rebates of $250 for low- and middle-income taxpayers.

    _Education: Proposed $10 billion for universal preschool. More money for special education. Opposes performance-based merit pay for teachers, favors incentives for teachers who work in places and on subjects where shortages exist. Supported No Child Left Behind accountability law but says it has not been properly financed or run, and should be replaced. $10,000 higher education scholarships for all who engage in national service full-time for a year. Raise value of tuition tax credit to a maximum $3,500 from $1,650.

    _Global warming: $150 billion, 10-year energy package, including $50 billion "strategic energy fund" to develop new sources of fuel, to be paid for by eliminating tax subsidies for oil companies. Tougher fuel efficiency standards financed in part by $20 billion in "green vehicle bonds." Backed stringent caps on greenhouse gas emissions.

    _Gun control: Voted for ban on assault-type weapons and to require background checks at gun shows. Favored leaving gun-makers and dealers open to civil suits. Also, in 2000 supported proposals for a federal requirement for state-issued photo gun licenses, as well as a national registry for handgun sales.

    _Health care: Mandatory universal coverage in first term. Tax credits for working families to make insurance more affordable — ensuring premiums do not exceed a percentage of income. Business would be required to offer insurance to employees or pay into a pool for people without it. Expand Medicare and federal employees' health insurance plan to cover those without adequate workplace insurance. Raise taxes on wealthier families to help pay estimated cost of $110 billion a year. Also, raise taxes on a portion of "very generous" plans covering people making more than $250,000.

    _Housing: A 90-day freeze on home foreclosures arising from subprime lending, and a freeze on subprime lending rates, in $30 billion plan. Says bailouts for bad loans make sense to protect neighborhoods and tax base.

    _Immigration: Voted for 2006 bill offering legal status to illegal immigrants subject to conditions, including English proficiency and payment of back taxes and fines. Voted for border fence.

    _Social Security: Noncommittal on raising the $97,500 income cap on Social Security. Proposes a federal match of up to $1,000 per person to help people set up 401(k) plans in program costing $25 billion a year, to be paid for by freezing the estate tax at 2009 levels.

    _Taxes: Raise income taxes on wealthiest and keep estate tax on them. Higher tax breaks for college. Also, would tax a portion of health insurance benefits provided to workers making more than $250,000. $1 billion paid family leave program to be financed by eliminating some tax shelters.

    _Trade: Seek to reopen North American Free Trade Agreement to strengthen enforcement of labor and environmental standards. "Time out" on negotiating similar trade agreements. Spoke in favor of NAFTA, enacted during her husband's presidency; now says it did not deliver expected benefits.


             ***Obama....

    _Cuba: Ease trade embargo if Havana "begins opening Cuba to meaningful democratic change." Ease restrictions on family-related travel and on money Cuban-Americans want to send to their families in Cuba. Open to meeting new Cuban leader Raul Castro without preconditions.

    _Death penalty: Supports death penalty for crimes for which the "community is justified in expressing the full measure of its outrage." As Illinois lawmaker, wrote bill mandating videotaping of interrogations and confessions in capital cases and sought other changes in system that had produced wrongful convictions.

    _Economic stimulus: $250 rebates to low and middle-income earners and $250 bonuses to Social Security recipients.

    _Education: Encourage but not require universal pre-kindergarten programs, expand teacher mentoring programs and reward teachers with higher pay not tied to standardized test scores, in $18 billion plan to be paid for in part by delaying elements of moon and Mars missions. Change No Child Left Behind "so that we're not just teaching to a test and crowding out programs like art and music." Tax credit to pay up to $4,000 of college expenses for students who perform 100 hours of community service a year.

    _Global warming: Ten-year, $150 billion program to produce "climate friendly" energy supplies that he'd pay for with a carbon auction requiring businesses to bid competitively for the right to pollute. Joined McCain in sponsoring legislation that would set mandatory caps on greenhouse gas emissions. Supports tougher fuel efficiency standards.

    _Gun control: Voted to leave gun-makers and dealers open to suit. Also, as Illinois state lawmaker, supported ban on all forms of semiautomatic weapons and tighter state restrictions generally on firearms.

    _Health care: Mandatory coverage for children, no mandate for adults. Aim for universal coverage by requiring employers to share costs of insuring workers and by offering coverage similar to that in plan for federal employees. Says package would cost up to $65 billion a year after unspecified savings from making system more efficient. Raise taxes on wealthier families to pay the cost.

    _Housing: Tax credit covering 10 percent of annual mortgage interest payments for "struggling homeowners," scoring system for consumers to compare mortgages, a fund for mortgage fraud victims, new penalties for mortgage fraud, aid to state and local governments stung by housing crisis, in $20 billion plan geared to "responsible homeowners."

    _Immigration: Voted for 2006 bill offering legal status to illegal immigrants subject to conditions, including English proficiency and payment of back taxes and fines. Voted for border fence.

    _Social Security: Proposes raising cap with an unspecified "small adjustment" that would subject a portion of higher incomes to Social Security taxes.

    _Taxes: Raise income taxes on wealthiest and their capital gains and dividends taxes. Raise corporate taxes. $80 billion in tax breaks mainly for poor workers and elderly, including tripling Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credit for larger families. Eliminate tax-filing requirement for older workers making under $50,000. A mortgage-interest credit could be used by lower-income homeowners who do not take the mortgage interest deduction because they do not itemize their taxes.

    _Trade: Seek to reopen NAFTA to strengthen enforcement of labor and environmental standards. In 2004 Senate campaign, called for "enforcing existing trade agreements," not amending them.


                  ***McCain....


    _Cuba: Ease restrictions on Cuba once U.S. is "confident that the transition to a free and open democracy is being made."

    _Death penalty: Has supported expansion of the federal death penalty and limits on appeals.

    _Economic stimulus: Cut corporate tax to 25 percent, let companies expense investments in equipment and technology in year of purchase instead of spread out.

    _Education: Favors parental choice of schools, including vouchers for private schools when approved by local officials, and right of parents to choose home schooling. More money for community college education.

    _Global warming: Led Senate effort to cap greenhouse gas emissions; favors tougher fuel efficiency.

    _Gun control: Voted against ban on assault-type weapons, but in favor of requiring background checks at gun shows. Voted to shield gun-makers and dealers from civil suits.

    _Health insurance: $2,500 refundable tax credit for individuals, $5,000 for families, to make health insurance more affordable. No mandate for universal coverage. In gaining the tax credit, workers could not deduct the portion of their workplace health insurance paid by their employers.

    _Housing: Open to helping homeowners facing foreclosure if they are "legitimate borrowers" and not speculators.

    _Immigration: Sponsored 2006 bill that would have allowed illegal immigrants to stay in the U.S., work and apply to become legal residents after learning English, paying fines and back taxes and clearing a background check. Now says he would secure the border first. Supports border fence.

    _Social Security: Would consider "almost anything" as part of a compromise to save Social Security, yet rules out higher payroll taxes for now.

    _Taxes: "No new taxes" if elected. Twice opposed Bush's tax cuts, at first because he said they were tilted to the wealthiest and again because of the unknown costs of Iraq war. Now says those tax cuts, expiring in 2010, should be permanent. Proposes cutting corporate tax rate to 25 percent. Promises balance budget in first term, says that is unlikely in his first year.

    _Trade: Free trade advocate.


                 ***Huckabee...... 


    _Cuba: Keep trade and travel restrictions until free elections are called, all political prisoners are freed and civil liberties are legalized.

    _Death penalty: Supported executions as governor. "I carried out the death penalty 16 times, more than any other governor in my state's history."

    _Economic stimulus: Supports Washington stimulus plan but questions "whose economy is going to be stimulated the most" if package is financed by foreign lenders and used to buy products made in China.

    _Education: States are responsible for education and should be given more authority to run it, not Washington.

    _Global warming: Supports mandatory caps on greenhouse gas emissions and increase to 35 mpg fuel efficiency standard by 2020.

    _Gun control: Supports state laws allowing people to carry concealed weapons and a national "right to carry" law that would require states to recognize concealed weapons permits issued by other states.

    _Health insurance: Favors market solutions, state innovation. "We don't need universal health care mandated by federal edict or funding through ever-higher taxes." Spend more on prevention and research.

    _Housing: Opposes tougher controls on lending or a broad freeze on subprime rates.

    _Immigration: Has favored allowing illegal immigrants who are in the country to apply for legal status if they pay penalties, get guest worker permits, register with authorities and aren't allowed to jump in line ahead of other applicants. As governor, opposed banning state services for illegal immigrants.

    _Social Security: Higher benefits for people who delay retirement past 70. Give retirees option of declining their benefits, and instead have Social Security issue a lump sum payment at their death, with the money going to their children or grandchildren.

    _Taxes: Replace income and investment taxes with national sales tax, sheltering purchases up to poverty line.

    _Trade: Blames China's currency manipulation and weak U.S. regulatory enforcement for imbalance in trade and imports of unsafe products, but has not said what he would do.

Friday, February 29, 2008

  • Death...She's leaving me today...

    Death...she’s leaving me today....
    Current mood: contemplative
    Category: Life

    Death.  It's such a difficult thing to deal with.  Even as I write this, my grandmother is lying on her deathbed in silence.  She is still alive...but will no longer be sometime within the next 24 hours.  My uncle says she is lying motionless, not speaking to anyone, and just staring at the ceiling or looking around.  OMG.  The reverance this kind of thing leaves you in is unspeakable.  Almost unbearable.  All I can do is cry while thinking of her frail body that has been so strong for so long...finally giving up.  97 years on this earth and having lived a long life, I would say it's her time to go.  She was an amazing woman, upstanding and righteous, soft-spoken and generous to the core of her being.  Raised a house-full of amazing children with a good heart.  All who have had children of their own, which had more children (and I would be in this group).  We were so close when I was a child and I love her.  About 5 years ago, when Alzhiemer's set it, she forgot who I was.  About 3 months ago I stayed with her for a few hours reminding her who I was every 30 seconds or so.  After a while, she remembered who I was for an entire 3 minutes and I was so exstatic!  She asked me how I was and wow, how I'd grown up...and then asked me what my name was again.  Lol.  But I love that woman, setting a standard for all who followed after her.  A woman who was so strong for so many years, and now the time has come for her to go meet her savior.  I know He is waiting for her...wanting her desperately.  Standing there with His arms open wide as they were that day on the cross...waiting for his beautiful bride, without spot or blemish.  Oh Lord, I don't want to lose her...but she is in your hands now.  Soon to surrender her spirit, leave the suffering, and face a beautiful tomorrow until eternity.  Well I'll be going now.  On my way to see her before she leaves us for good.  Grandma Morrow...I'll be seeing you soon.  Don't ever stop singing and save a seat for me next to you.

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Freedom_N_JC

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    • Name: ~Ava Lynn~
    • Country: United States
    • State: Arkansas
    • Metro: Searcy
    • Birthday: 11/19/1987
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/28/2005

About Me

  • I am 20 yrs old and live somewhere between Judsonia and Cabot...depends on the day of the week. I work at Lowe's Home Improvement Store in Jacksonville by the Air Force Base. I am going back to ASU-Beebe fall 2008...Yeah! And most of all - I LOVE Jesus!