how can one be utterly, completely selfless?
is it possible? every selfless act has a selfish motive?
ie. "pheobe donating to pbs, getting stung by a bee"..
we give ourselves to feel good about ourselves.. so how can we ever be completely selfless?
our lives are imprinted with self preservation.. survival of the fittest...right?

or is this one of those "search for the meaning of life and the meaning of life is to search for the meaning of life" kinda of thing?

im not faded.. for once in maybe 3 months i have been sober for the whole day. it feels good. its 4 am and i'm still awake. i need some ganja to sleep...

support the bohemian revolution!

its funny reading your old xanga posts.
all the hate you wrote down about some stupid bitch in high school.
or all the fun memories with your friends but with all the pictures missing now.
the funniest part is that now, none of that really matters.
all the stress and all the worry, it doesn't even matter anymore and everything's fine now
i got over it. i always get over it. somehow.
i remember stressing over money and rent living by myself in northridge..that was three years ago.
so why stress about life. why stress about money. it comes and goes just like problems do.
they come and go and in a few years you forget them and live your life.
there's a lot of shit going on in my life and a lot of shit that shouldn't be there
but i know they're all going to be taken care of. they always somehow do.
so live your life happy and stop moping around all emo and shit..
unless you want to be emo cuz its fun being emo once in a while. :) <--smiley face

wish you were back..

i feel as if i'm lost in purgatory. at a crossroads with about a dozen trails infront of me and my shoes untied. the worst part is i can't do anything about it. all i can do is sit here and wait. and waiting sucks..

edc in 18 days!

"i'm gonna throw lava all over you!!!"
"you gonna save that ghetto bong?!"
"christopher walken doing an impression of christopher walken!"

life is gooood