Yes...yes, it's been another year.  Straaaange. 

Very strange.

The last year just sort of...slipped away.

Well, if I grew up in the year that I didn't update, before, I believe that I must have certainly grown up from two years ago.

Chris has had several boyfriends.  The current one is named Ken, and he goes to MacLaughlin CVI.

I am still involved with Henry, but I don't want a relationship, no I do not. 

I don't even wanna mess around with him, but he's very persuasive.  But no more. 

I am a rock, I am WOMAN!

A very strange detail of my life recently came to light at the large New Years 2007 party I threw.  Brendan, my very first boyfriend ever, who was "in love with me" and wanted nothing more than to boink me senseless, is gay.  Chris, my first puppy love, is also gay. 

Is anyone seeing the pattern here?  I worry that next thing I know, I'll get dumped.  And the lucky girl that I'll be dumped for will be named Bob.  Or Richard. 

God.  How awkward.  I'm like Grace from Will and Grace.  I suuuure know how to pick 'em.

/end

Whoa, haven't updated here in like, a year. Trippy.

Is it just me, or...yeah, I've grown up a bit in the last year.  I think.  I hope.

AHAHAHAAHAHAHA CHRIS IS *GAY*.

I knew it.

But man, if that guy had balls, I'd kick him.  But he doesn't. Because he's GAY.

Wow, see, I sound like a huge homophobe right there...but I'm not.  I love gay guys (especially together) but this guy, Chris, he used to be the biggest homophobe ever. Now where is he? He's gay.

Just goes to show you, neh?

Ahhh well, that was like, a year an a half ago. @_@ I really haven't been here in ages. 

I've been going out with Henry for 7 months now. =D  Life is splendid.  He is splendid.  Chris has a boyfriend named Davin. I have a boyfriend named Henry.  Henry III is a king of Poland.  That makes me a queen.

Life is grand.

I'm updating here because...well, I haven't in about 2 months.  And also because there are too many people who read my Lj, so this is a bit more confidential.

Funny, I just used the word 'confidential' in reference to a blog.  I suppose it never occured to me that OMFG I'M POSTING MY *LIFE* ON THE INTERNET FOR EVERYONE TO READ OMGLYKEWTF.

I read an article somewhere that today is the age of blogging, and that its making today's youth narcisssistic.  In short, we're all full of ourselves.  The article basically said that by posting our lives on the internet for the world to see, we're fooling ourselves into thinking that maybe, just maybe somebody gives a shit about our lives, maybe there's someone out there that cares that we went to the mall and bought a new bra last Tuesday, maybe someone cares that our cat died.

Yes, yes, I am vain.  I don't deny it.  So this is what's been happening in my life for the last two months, whether you want to hear it or not.

Possibly the biggest thing that happened is that I broke up with Chris.  I would have ranted about him in my Lj, but far too many people that know him read my Lj, and even though I would trust those people with my life, I don't trust them with my secrets. 

I remember saying this once before, and I'm saying it again: I'd trust someone with my life before I'd trust them with my secrets.   If I tell you confidential information about myself that only you know, consider yourself trusted with even more than my life.

Anway, back to Chris.  Yes, I broke up with him.  Why? It just wasn't working out.  I suppose he wanted a more solid reason that what I gave him, but really, after all the excuses and reasons I gave him, the bottom line was just that he wasn't my someone just for me. 

Chris had this journal...Amanda gave it to him for his birthday, I believe...anyway, he started writing in this journal a couple months back.  I have grown to hate this journal with a passion.  And really, I have no idea why.  The journal really doesn't deserve my negative energy. 

But I believe my hate was spawned last Monday, after I broke up with him.  He read to me from his bloody journal.  He's done so before, and I appreciate that these are his deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, but really!  The accusations that journal spewed!  Accusing me of never loving him...accusing me of using him and staying with him just so I could go to his sister's wedding, just so he'd take me out for Canada day.  Accusing me of lying to his face about missing him and loving him.   Everything that journal said were horrible accusations.

The only time I ever lied about loving him was the night I broke up with him and I called him, hoping he wouldn't be at work and we'd be able to talk.  As luck would have it, he was at work.  And he said "I love you", so I replied likewise.  I didn't especially feel like making him feel bad while he was working.  And that was the only time. 

Even so, its not as if I don't love him.  Its just that at that specific moment, I didn't love him the way I knew he loved me, and I knew it. 

Sure, I admit it.  I'm a chickenshit.   But I apologized for that.

You know what really bothered me about him?  Chris was the worlds biggest cliché, if there ever was one.  You wouldn't believe some of the things he said.  Sometimes I'd just look at him and say to myself, "Is this guy for real?" and that wasn't in the He's-too-good-to-be-true way.  It was just...a lot of the things he'd say, they sounded so completely insincere, it was unbelievable.

And then there was the entire jealousy thing.  I swear, he was worse than a girl.  His last girlfriend, Sam, apparently she was horrid when it came to the jealousy thing.  He'd just be around another girl, and she'd jump him.  She was insanely...insane, according to what he told me.  So what did I do?  I told him I wasn't like that, and I did my absolute best to not seem like I was jealous at all, because I didn't want to be a bother. 

Of course, yes, I was jealous sometimes.  Sometimes I felt like I wasn't his first priority.  Of course, this was a completely unrealistic thing to want, because he wasn't my first priority, so I definitely wasn't his.  We both had lives. 

But then there was the Krista thing...for some reason, just so many little things added up together, which led to my ultimate dislike for her.  She absolutely doesn't deserve it, and I thought she was a completely awesome person a few months ago.  But...she felt like a (for lack of a better word) threat.

To add salt to the wound, the first time I saw Chris after the break up was last Thursday when I ran into him at the mall.  Lo and behold, he was hanging out with Krista.

Another thing that bothered me.  Chris was terribly vain.  He was worse than I am.  And I'm not sure of the effect it had on me, but I can't say it was a positive one.   But Chris...he had no idea.  He didn't know the first thing about the real world.  If he thought it was popular, or that it would make him look good, he'd do it, damn the consequences.  He wanted a tan...American eagle clothing...56$ on an AE messenger bag...he was so touchy about his hair...god, he styled it...

No idea about the real world.

And when I asked him what he wanted to do with his life?  "I'm going to be famous."  That's not a bloody life plan!  Fame doesn't necessarily mean riches...especially in the music business.  He doesn't know the first thing about the music business.  You just don't get famous.  And even worse, his family only blew his head up even more....they were always talking about, "When you're famous this...you can buy that when you rich..."  And what's he got going for him? Good looks, a talent for piano and music, and a mediocre voice? 

He doesn't know the first bloody thing!

One day, he's going to get a very rude awakening.

I realise he's only 15, but sooner or later (sooner is better than later) he'll have to learn what really matters in life.  Because it isn't a game, and he sure as hell isn't the automatic winner.

This wasn't really necessary, but I really did need to rant out everything that ever bothered me about him.  It was more for my benefit than anything else...I guess I'm attempting to keep myself from regretting my decision.

So here's to four months, three weeks, one day and fourteen hours.  Some of the best moments of my life, despite all I just said.

Oh yeah, and happy would-be 5 months today.

Forever miffed,

Laura. <3

Long time no update...what have I been up to in the past few months...hm...

A firkin lot.  That about sums it all up.

Chris' birthday is next week, but I'm going to be at camp! Wah! T_T  His birthday is on the 9th, and the day before that is our three months and I'm going to miss that too! T__T Waah!

I cannot wait until summer.  I just...gah!

Currently, I'm doing costume designs for Guys and Dolls, which is the musical we're doing at DIAC this year. =DDDDDDDD Aweesommeee~

Must sleep currently, turrah~

Right, ok and after the perfume testing, that gave me an excuse to smell him every five minutes. XD

Then we were walking around chapters, and walking through stores.  Then we were searching for benches, or somewhere to sit.  So we found a bench in front of Bulk Barn. XD  There were some people sitting behind us...I don't  know what language they were speaking, but it was amusing. XD

Then we went to famous players, hung out at the arcade place for a bit, sat at the tables, and went into the theater.

It was happy and cozy, and we sat closer together than I ever would with my parents around. =D  I kept his hands warm, he kept me warm, and we ate far too much pop corn and drank far too much mountain dew. XD

Then when the movie ended he had to run for the bus.  And when he went to get on the bus he said "I guess I have to go now." and I think I said "Yeah...I guess you have to go..." and then he kissed me.  -^_^-

...personally, I think it was too rushed because he had to get on the bus...I want a bit more time alone with him. T_T...

So raawwr.  I'm gonna call him tomorrow.  And we can meet at the mall. And then before we get to the mall, I'll tell him to put on his walking shoes...Cause I feel like exploring tomorrow. >:3 OMFG NOT LIKE THAT SICK CHILDREN.  I meant that we could go walking around somewhere or something, because I know a few parks in the area...and....

My god, I'm just going to shut up now. O_x