FunnyDude's Xanga

Monday, March 29, 2004

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 22:36:45 GMT

OK it's been how long since I wrote in herre?! I'm at my bud Keri's house. Just thought I'd say HI!!!

Randy-

Friday, November 21, 2003

Fri, 21 Nov 2003 04:12:34 GMT

What up XANGA!!

Good God it's been a long ass time since I've written in here. I figured I better start writing in here before my mom gets rid of our internet. This computer sucks, I can't even listen to music on here anymore. What's the point of even having a computer?
Well I went on Tuesday and applied to Fresno State. All I have to do is pay the $55 processing fee. What are rip off!
These past 3 weekends have been really boring. I don't know what the hell has been going on! 2 Fridays ago me, Lisa and Nicole got a ticket for smoking! How fucking dumb. You'd figure the cops would have something better to do that go to football games and bust kids. They were even undercover too. Why the hell would they be undercover at a football game? Well anyways I had to tell my mom and dhe got a little pissed but everything is fine.
I no longer have a car to drive. This dumb ass bitch rear ended me and my mom. She hit us like at 30 mph! And it was hella busy traffic. WHY WASN'T SHE PAYING ATTENTION!? So now we have a rental car and I drive that to school. But I have to talk my mom into it because I'm not suppose to be driving it because I'm not insured for it. My mom had our car totaled so now we have to get another one. She says she wants to get a Kia. I don't like those cars but I guess she mine as well get it because she can get a new one for practically nothing.
I'm kind of excited about formal. Lisa already got her dress. I think I'll go see it tomarrow. I think we'll have fun with the group we're gonna go with. We're going with Becky, Sandra, Bridgette, Christina, Cindy, Ashley, and their dates. Hopefully Sophie and Jacob will go. Becky said she got us a Navigator limo and all we have to pay was $40 a person. That's not bad. I just don't want to go all out on this formal because it only formal. I'll go all out on Prom. HAHA, Me and Lisa are gonna get a tiarra and crown and we're gonna hit up River Park and tell people that we won Formal King and Queen! LOL It'll be funny.
I wish I could go back to work after school but I usually can't because I don't know if I'll have a ride. My checks have been so small. Like only $130. I was getting $300 before. So I've been broke for a while. It's cool working there only when I'm working with people I like. I only like working with our manager, Anna, because she lets us do whatever we want. She even lets us have free food! But not the other managers. And I only like working with 2 of my co-workers, Reina and Tony. It's soo fun we we're all working together. LoL, me and Reina got high in her car last week. It was soo good! I was afraid that my mom knew when I got home. I got really sad though when she told me when I was high that she did coke. I would've never suspected because she looking normal and she is soo pretty. I got really bummed and I'm still hoping she drops it soon.
Well if anyone still reads this, drop me a line...

Thanks to Keri (BlondeBabe9), I'll leave ya'll with a goofball pic of me and Sophie...

Randy-

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Sun, 28 Sep 2003 06:54:04 GMT

Hey Xanga,

     Long time no see! School started like a month ago. School sucks soo bad. I hate my schedule. So now that I've been driving to school, I was ditching the first half. I just wouldn't show up to the classes I wasn't scheduled for or the ones I didn't sign up for. Or sometimes I just wouldn't go to school, and me and Nicole would just go see a movie at River Park. LOL Like Jeepers Creepers 2. Well anyways our ditching finally caught up to us. They called us both into the counsling center and showed us our missed periods. I was missing 19 periods! That's like a whole week out of a month. So the lady in charge of attendance gave me 2 Saturday Schools. I only went to 1 of them because I was too tired to go to the one today. Looks like I won't be ditching anymore.
    Well work was going really good before summer ended. My paycheck for the end of summer was $520!!! That's soo much. I got a $25 bonus on that check because I was Employee of the Month. YUP! ME! But now work sucks. I get shitty hours during the week. And on top of that, I wasn't on the schedule for like 2 weeks! I almost forgot how to make a Whopper. Yesterday was the first time I had been in for a while. I was a half hour late because I didn't know I was on the schedule. I had to close and me, my 2 co-workers, and manager got out at 1 a.m!! I was soo flippin' tired. That's the main reason why I skipped Saturday School.
    For a while, I forgot why I wanted to be in student council. I kind of had a hard time making it to meetings. The main reason why I wanted to quit was because I wasn't comfortable because I didn't know a lot of the people in there. But I'm gonna snap out of it. I won't give up my position. All the work I did for it last year would just be a waste.
    Last weekend was so fun. I hung out with Lisa, Jacob and Sophie. Then we met Britney and Nicole down Blackstone. We cruised for a while then Britney called me from her cell and wanted us to go meet her at her house because she had a bunch of people there and we were gonna drink. When we got there, Her mom was all pissed so we couln't party there. So we all went back to my house because my mom was out of town. It was boring until the alcohol got there. Me, Sophie and Jacob had a flippin blast! We were joking and laughing so hard! Me and Jacob chugged a Smirnoff. He won. I was surprised, I thought I was going to win. Poor Nicole... She tried to get into my room and I blocked her but i got rushed by other people trying to get in so I was slamming the doors but it was jammed. IT WAS NICOLE'S FINGER!!! I felt soo bad. She got over it but still makes me feel bad about it.
    Well I'm outtie! If anyone still reads my site, please drop me a line...

Randy-

Monday, August 04, 2003

Mon, 04 Aug 2003 06:58:14 GMT

Hey Xanga,

     Well work has been going good I guess. But it sucks. I've pretty much found my place among the other workers. We even got a new guy so I guess I'm not the rookie no more. Payday is the 10th and I can't wait!
     I just recently got off grounding. It's been great. I was ignoring my mom by not talking to her for like a week and a half. Then one night I went out and came home around 11. I had Anna come in my house for like 2 minutes and I didn't introduce my mom to her. SO when she left, me and my mom had it out because I didn't introduce her. She was also mad that I didn't leave her a note of where I was going. So we had a big fight about all sorts of stupid shit. We both cried and eventually made up. So now we're good. I can drive again!
     Me and Anna have gotten really close. We're good buds. i can't wait till school starts so we can go off to lunch and stuff. LoL me and Nicole will have to sneak her in the trunk or something because only seniors can go out for lunch. LoL. Me and Anna are gonna go see Ashanti and Trina in concert when they come to Fresno. I can't wait!
     LoL... Last night, me and friends went cruising down Blackstone and in Edwards. It was so funny because we were MOONING people. That had to have been the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life! So if you happened to see a big ass pass you by as you were driving... IT WAS US!!!
     HAHA, I had to call in last night beacuase I was suppose to be at home at 11. So i called on Nicole's cell. She held the phone up to my ear while I was driving. Then this guy stopped suddenly in front of me and I had to break FAST! So Nicole yelled," Shit! WATCH THE ROAD YOU FUCKIN' IDIOT!!!" She forgot I was on the phone and my mom ended up hearing it! I thought I was dead! So when I came home, I found out it was recorded on the answering machine! It was the funniest thing I've ever heard!
     Well today I hung out with Nicole and Britiny all day. Tomarrow they're leaving for Clear Lake and won't be back till the 16th. I'm gonna miss my buds. We had a bunch of fun today. Me and Nicole kept jumping on britiny's big ass trampoline. It's soo FUN! I can't wait till they get back from Clear Lake. You better believe I'll be making long distant phone call to them.
     Well I'm off. Drop me a line...

Randy-

Joke of the Day

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. "There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear." Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. "Now you must do the same," he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. "Second," the professor continued, "you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?"

Friday, July 25, 2003

Fri, 25 Jul 2003 02:22:59 GMT

Hey Xanga...

Man oh man, my life is really gonna suck from now on. My stupid ass mom has grounded me form the car. Now how the hell am I suppose to get around. I live so far from everyone and without the car, I feel like an amputee. That stupid bitch even made me walk to work in this blazing ass heat. All this just becaus eI didn't have the car home when she got home from work. She is blowing this way out of proportion. She acts like she had to be somewhere. The worse thing is that tomarrow is payday and I'll have no way to get around to spend it. So now I'm not talking to her until she ungrounds me. Maybe she'll cave. Who knows? She usually breaks down after I don't talk to her for a while. What a bitch...

Joke of the Day

THE CREATION OF A PUSSY

Seven men with knowledge so fine
Created a Pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, Smart with wit,
Using a knife he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, Strong and bold,
With a hammer and a chisel he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin
By using red velvet, he lined it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout
With a piece of fox fur he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
Threw in a fish and gave it a smell

Sixth was a preacher, Whose name was McGee
Touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.

Last was a sailor, dirty ol' runt,
He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 03:51:10 GMT

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear ME!!! Now I am sevenTEEN!

Saturday, July 12, 2003

Sat, 12 Jul 2003 04:17:40 GMT

Hey Xanga,

What's Popin'? My 4th of July and everyday after that have been cool! I had a bitchin' 4th with Brittiny, Nicole, Lisa and Don. Don is Brittiny's friend from Clear Lake. He's moving down here and is going to Clovis East which will be really cool. That night we went went all over searching for some Buchanan party. We ended up just going to this get together at Lisa's guy friend's house. It took us forever to find it and just as soon as we got there... We left. We left Lisa there cuz we were gonna come back after we got alcohol. We asked this grungy lookin guy to get us 4 big bottles of Smirnoff. When we were at the drive threw of Carl's Jr., Me and Don smoked. He didn't really get high because he's soo used to it, but I DID! I mean I don't do anything like that often, but I had been feeling a little depressed the past few days and I really needed it. We were driving around forever trying to find the house so we could go back. We finally got there after what seemed an eternity! I had my Smirnoff in hand already sipping on it and one for Lisa in my other hand. I got so embarrassed because I was trying to open the door to the pool house where everyone was and it wouldn't open. Then someone got up and opened it for me and it turns out I that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it in. Whoops! I felt a little dumb. LoL, but my mind wasn't totally there! Anyways, I ended up spending the night at Brittiny's house because there was no way I could go home!

Well I started work on Monday at Burger King. It's a lot harder than I thought it was. You have to be SOO fast! I messed up so many orders and I know I'm not gonna be making friends at work anytime soon. Who cares though? I don't care if they don't like me, because I'm only there because I need the money. As soon as I have enough saved, I'm looking for another one. It's not that they're mean to me, it's just that they got really frustrated with me because I didn't know what was going on. HELLO! I'M NEW! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO TRAIN ME! But I did make friends with the other new girl and the the guy that showed me mostly everything I needed to know. I can't wait for my paycheck! I get payed every 10th and 25th of the month after 2pm.

Okay well I'm signing out! Drop me a line...

Randy-

Joke of the Day

A guy goes to see his grandmother and takes one of his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they're leaving, the friend says, "Thanks for the peanuts."
She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Tue, 01 Jul 2003 03:58:30 GMT

Hey Xanga...

Man! I found out about a month ago that my wisdom teeth are trying to pop up. It's just now that I am starting to feel them. Man, my jaw is sore and I feel a bunch of pressure on my teeth. And on top of that, it's giving me a headache. My mom said it would cost about $400 just to take them out! Man, that is WAY to much. Our dental insurance SUCKS!!! I can't wait to get them out.

Today I went to go get an application for a work permit at the district office. Tomarrow I have to get the manager at Burger King to fill it out. I can't wait untill I start working and making some money! I need to pay my share of the car insurance and I have to save up for a car. I want a Honda Accord (97 or newer).

After I got home, me and Nicole went to River Park and saw 28 Days Later. It was okay, but I was expecting better. LoL we almost got caught sneeking in because towards the end of the movie, we noticed a security guard looking at us from the bottom. Hahaha once he left, we hella got outta there. WE MADE IT!!!

Okay well I'm out! Drop me a line...

Joke of the Day

2 guys are drinking at a bar when one turns to the other & says
"Right, time I was going home, the wife
only lets me have 4 beers"
His friend says,
"No, no, no, that'll never do.
You should do what I do.
Drink as many beers as you can fit down you, follow that with 5 tequilas, 3 whiskeys & a bourbon!
Then go home, shove your head under the
blanket & lick your wifes pussy like crazy, she WONT complain after, trust me!"
So the 1st guy says "FUCK IT!!",, gets
tanked and wobbles home.
After he stumbles up the stairs he opens the bedroom door, and without hesitation,
dives under the blanket and licks away!

After 5 minutes he figures "Right, best
go wash up or she'll never kiss me like this "
So off to the bathroom he goes.
When he gets there he see's his wife, laid there in the bath reading a book.
"What the fuck!!" he shouts out.
"SHUSH!!" she wispers back to him
"You'll wake your mother!!"

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Tue, 24 Jun 2003 06:31:25 GMT

HEY XANGA!

Well I had my job interview on Saturday at Burger King! It went really well. The manager said they do double interviews so he would be calling me this week to make another one on Saturday. Then he'll tell me at that interview if I got the job or not. Wish me luck!!!

Hey well I hope you guys like my new background. I do but it's kinda hard to read what I say. It might not stay for that long. I might need to find something better, something like this beachy look because it's summer. Well it has to have Ashanti though, OF COURSE! LoL

If any of you guys have Showtime, then you should watch this really good movie I saw last night. It was called Soldier's Girl. It was about this guy in the army who falls in love with a transgender male. Anyways, it was based on a true story and it's really sad how it ends. Yeah, it sounds funny but it's really good. Almost brought a tear to my eye .

Drop me a line...

Randy-

Krysta inspired me to start something like this...

Joke of the day :

           A man walks into a public bathroom and begins using one of the urinals. He looks to his left and sees a very short man peeing also. Suddenly, the short man looks up at the taller man, and the taller man is completely embarrassed about staring at the smaller man's penis.
          "Sorry," says the taller man."I'm not gay or anything, but you have the longest penis I've ever seen, especially on a man so small!"
          "Well," says the Leprechaun, "That's because I'm a Leprechaun! ALL Leprechauns have penises this size!" The taller man says, "Incredible! I'd give anything if mine were that long."
          "Well, what with me being a Leprechaun and all, I can give you your wish! If you let me take you into that stall over there and screw you, I'll give you your wish!"
          "Gee," says the man, "I don't know about that----aw hell with it, OK!"
          Soon, the Leprechaun is behind the taller man, just humping away.
          "Say," says the Leprechaun, "How old are you, son?"
          Finding it difficult to turn with the Leprechaun humping him so ferociously, the tall man says over his shoulder, "Uh-Uh, Thirty-two..."
          "Imaging that, " says the little man, "Thirty-two and still believes in Leprechauns!"

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Thu, 19 Jun 2003 08:10:59 GMT

Rejected Titles For Children’s Books

1. You are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife 'Greg'
4. Fun four-letter Words to know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It Book:
6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it; I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. You were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster. And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can't Help It If You're Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don't YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Deserve To Die
36. Mommy's Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy's The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You're Not A Sissy