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Saturday, May 10, 2008

  • My appt. with Dr. LaHaise yesterday went really well !  We covered alot of things, mostly dealing with graduation next Friday the 16th.  She really said some helpful and encouraging things to me to make me feel alittle more comfortable with the idea of graduating.  I honestly don't know what I would do without her

    The whole time Dr. LaHaise was talking, I kept thinking, "Is she pregnant?  She really looks pregnant.  Or is is just the shirt she is wearing?  She can't be pregnant because she at least looks like she is 40yrs old."  LOL!!!  Sure enough, she came out and said she is expecting and is due August 1st, and that she would be out of the office for a couple of weeks starting in Aug.  She said she is really excited because her and her husband have been trying to have kids for awhile now, but just couldn't seem to get pregnant.  But, now she finally was able to get pregnant.

    At the end of my appt. she weighed me and I ended up losing 2 pounds since the last time she saw me.  I am now 107lbs.  I know it's only 2 pounds lost, but it's better than nothing, right?  LOL!!!

    So, overall, my appt. went really well !

    I emailed my Art teacher about if we can keep in touch after I graduate.  She said we can definitely do that .  I'm happy that she actually wants to stay in touch with me.  I thought forsure she wouldn't want to because I'm a handful to deal with.  LOL!!!  But, no, she said she would love to keep in touch, which makes me feel good because she is a good person to talk to, and she has always been there for me when I needed her the most.  And, it would just be hard to say goodbye to someone like that, and never see or hear from them again.

    On May 22nd, I am taking an acuplacrer test at Northland Community and Techincal College in East Grand Forks, MN.  I'm still not sure whether I want to go to college or not , but I am just going to take the test anyways because my teachers, and my family wants me to.

    Much Love To All - Kari XoXoXoXo

Monday, May 05, 2008

  • Next Friday (16th) is graduation day.  I'm really not looking forward to it.  I wish next Friday would never come.  I wish I could just stay in high school my whole life, where it is safe.  I'm scared of living on my own and having to pay bills.  I'm scared of change.  I'm scared to leave everything I've known for 12 years behind.  I feel like I am not good at anything, and everything I do, I will end up failing at.  I feel like I am not capable of making it in life.  I DON'T WANT TO GRADUATE!!!

    This Friday, I have an appointment with Dr. LaHaise my Psychologist.  I wasn't planning on going anymore, but I thought it would be a good idea if I saw her before I graduate, so that I could get out everything I'm feeling and fearing about graduation.  I'm really looking forward to my apt. with her!  I really hope she has some helpful advice and words for me.

    Here are some new pictures of myself, and pictures from prom:

    Much Love To All -Kari XoXoXo

Thursday, April 24, 2008

  • 18

    I HATE MY CURVES!!!!!  I want them GONE NOW!!!  I just want to take a fucking knife and cut them off done to the bone.  I know women are suppose to have curves.  That's how we are built.  But I DON'T want them!  I want them GONE!!!  I feel so FAT and DISGUSTING!!!

    forgive

Monday, April 21, 2008

  • 19 DAYS UNTIL MY LIFE ENDS!!!

    High school graduation is in 19 days (May 16th).  I am NOT looking forward to it!  I am scared shittless, as I mentioned before.  I feel like I'm not capable of making it as anything in life, and I'm not capable of making it on my own.  I got excepted at Northland Tech in East Side, Grade Forks ND, but I don't know if I want to go or not, because I don't think I am college material.  I wouldn't last 5 minutes in college.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!! 

    3657189063

    I've been having thoughts about overdosing on pills, so that I won't have to deal with life and all the stress that goes along with living.  I have nothing going for me anyways, and it's not like anyone would notice, or even care if I was gone.  I feel so alone and hopeless.

    tired

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Future_Artist08

  • Visit Future_Artist08's Xanga Site
    • Name: Future_Artist08
    • Birthday: 6/10/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/29/2007

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  • I AM.... A Daughter. A Sister. A Grand-Daughter. A Niece. A Cousin. A Friend. A Student. *I want to meet anyone who has ever faced a challenge, with all odds against them and no one to turn to, someone, anyone who has climbed a mountain they thought was impossible, someone who took a chance and changed their life, I want to meet someone who has come out the other end smiling*

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