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I have to say that although I'm dramatic and seem all down and upset a lot, I'm not unhappy.
I can say with certainty that I am lonely. But I'm really glad that I feel that way.
I think that youth is inherently lonely. There's something wistful and beautiful about it though; it wouldn't be right if it was happy all the time or if you didn't feel alone.
Its something that makes me feel more in touch with the world around me.
I think that each period of transition in your life is lonely because you make it alone. This is something I've been thinking a lot about. As an infant as you move into childhood you are less dependent on your mother and I honestly think that can be lonely. As a child becoming a pre-teen in middle school, that is definitely lonely and difficult. And again as you become an adolescent, and finally as an adolescent becoming an adult.
You're sort of caught between two places, and while you have your friends around you, you have to go at your own pace and that can make you feel terribly alone. Especially if you're moving on without them with you or ahead of them.
But that loneliness isn't a sad loneliness. Its accompanied by a sense of growth and that is a really beautiful, warm feeling.
When I'm feeling alone, I know that I'm growing with it and because of it, and I love that! It makes me feel sort of like a single wildflower in a meadow of long grass, or a red rose in the middle of a rainstorm.
I don't want to wax poetic, but I truly feel like this is a normal, natural thing and I'm so glad I'm going through it even if it is hard or lonesome.
Sorry for the rambling, but I hope you all understand what I mean.
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| | Posted 5/31/2007 10:12 PM - 14 views - 0 comments
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