Currently Listening Carried Me: The Worship Project By Jeremy Camp MY DESIRE see related

why we fail so often

what do you work for?

what do you not work for?

to be a christian is not a thing to take lightly yet we do... we want christianity for success in self control - so we can have a better life morally so as to escape the consequences of sin.  and sadly, we call that "want" faith... when thats actually selfishness, we are only scared because our skin is about to be burnt... or because we are losing our money and friendships to addictions.  we dont want salvation from ourselves, we want it for ourselves.  we hope upon hopes that we pass tests or temptations that come our way... but we put no work into it.  when was the last time we spen an hour in prayer?  an hour in the Bible?  yet we'll put everything aside to play 2 hrs of video games, or 2 hrs of movies... lets be bold and say we put it aside for 2 hrs of math homework or whatever, or even 8 hrs for our job... and all we do is set aside the Bible (unless we want a cute story), and prayer (unless we want something), and worship (unless we desire emotions), and of course we're too scared to witness so we just dont even try, and we cant decsiple anyone cause we dont know anything ourself.  but oh, we have "faith", and thats all that matters right? 

Mat 7:21-23 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (22) On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' (23) And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'

if this describes you then God says that what you need is not the event (the trial, the temptation - which is what we focus on) and what you need to have is discipline in the area of waking up and getting in His Word... spending time in prayer... thinking of thoughts that please Him because they are of Him.  do you want true victory in your life?  then you have to lose yourself.  do you really want to live?  then you have to die to yourself.  we wash feet for attention, we sing to show off, we give so we get (happiness), and at the end of the day we have nothing but pitiful filthy rags to hand to our savior - do we actaully think we have something to offer?  all we have is what He gave - our life.  dont think He has nothing great planned for you

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

please dont have a testimony filled with what you did AGAINST Christ.  thats not what makes an interesting testimony... what you are saved from is only a part of the testimony, its what you are saved for.  if you cant tell someone the great works God has done in your life then you really dont have a testimony FOR Him, its really only against Him.

becareful what you allow in your life...

Gal 5:7-10 You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? (8) This persuasion is not from him who calls you. (9) A little leaven leavens the whole lump.

dont veil the gospel from the unsaved with your lack of Christian discipline... get your mind off the precious "liberties" that you love so much and live by the Book, not your desires.

dont be a fake christian.

be real.  be alive. 

"MY DESIRE" by Jeremy Camp

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by You

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel You near
And I know my life
It's to do Your will
It's to do Your will

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire, to be used by You
Oo yea
This is my desire, this is my desire
To be used by You

All my life I have seen
Where You've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all You've done
So I give my hands to use

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire, to be used by You
Oo yea
This is my desire, this is my desire
To be used by You

"life in FL"

thats my header... but in just over two months it'll change to "life in NY"

i'm going to second year at the BI (chhhyaaa)

but for this summer, i will be a camp counsoler for all the crazy kids that come to wol camps.  please be praying for me

peace out gangsta's.

Currently Listening The Essential Jars of Clay By Jars of Clay worlds apart see related

letting your gaurd down. (its a long post, but at least read what i took from "tortured for Christ"

your a roman soldier, carrying your sheild.  the formation is the turtle.  in battle the turtle formation was to protect you from a hail storm of arrows.  the long sheilds placed side by side, and then the rows behind the front would lay their sheilds over their heads like an umbrella.

the sheild of faith.

firey darts of the devil.

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Matthew 14:38 "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.  The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

our walk with God isn't on a playground... its on a battlefeild.

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be paying attention.  aren't you on Satan's hitlist?  you let your sheild down, your not just affecting yourself... your affecting those who have been fighting faithfully next to you.  Loving your brother isn't just being all smiley and giddy to see them... its persevering tanatiously, not backing down... because Christ deserves it, does He not?

1Pe 5:8-9 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (9) Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

Many times i find myself thinking how unworthy i am to be called a christian... all the times i've turned my back on God.

our life was paid with too high a price to do nothing for the buyer.  be used. 

lets never forget the brothers and sisters who have been martyred for being willing to be used.  we in america should be ashamed of ourselves for a lack of enthusiams for the gospel, as i know i am...

THIS IS TAKEN FROM A BOOK CALLED "TORTURED FOR CHRIST" by RICHARD WURMBRAND.  (no, its not the whole chapter)

Chapter 2

I worked in both an official and underground manner until February 29, 1948. On that beautiful Sunday, on my way to church, I was kidnapped from the street by the secret police.

I had often wondered what was meant by "man-stealing," which is mentioned several times in the Bible. Communism has taught us.

Many at that time were kidnapped like this. A van of the secret police stopped in front of me, four men jumped out and pushed me into the vehicle. I was taken to a prison where I was kept secretly for over eight years. During that time, no one knew whether I was alive or dead. My wife was visited by the secret police who posed as released fellow-prisoners. They told her that they had attended my burial. She was heartbroken.

Thousands of believers from churches of all denominations were sent to prison at that time. Not only were clergymen put in jail, but also simple peasants, young boys and girls who witnessed for their faith. The prisons were full, and in Romania, as in all Communist countries, to be in prison means to be tortured.

The tortures were sometimes horrible. I prefer not to speak too much about those through which I have passed; it is too painful. When I do, I cannot sleep at night.

In the book In God’s Underground, I recount many details of our experiences with God in jail.

A pastor by the name of Florescu was tortured with red-hot iron pokers and with knives. He was beaten very badly. Then starving rats were driven into his cell through a large pipe. He could not sleep because he had to defend himself all the time. If he rested a moment, the rats would attack him.

He was forced to stand for two weeks, day and night. The Communists wished to compel him to betray his brethren, but he resisted steadfastly. Eventually, they brought his fourteen-year-old son to the prison and began to whip the boy in front of his father, saying that they would continue to beat him until the pastor said what they wished him to say. The poor man was half mad. He bore it as long as he could, then he cried to his son, "Alexander, I must say what they want! I can’t bear your beating anymore!" The son answered, "Father, don’t do me the injustice of having a traitor as a parent. Withstand! If they kill me, I will die with the words, ‘Jesus and my fatherland.’" The Communists, enraged, fell upon the child and beat him to death, with blood spattered over the walls of the cell. He died praising God. Our dear brother Florescu was never the same after seeing this.

Handcuffs with sharp nails on the insides were placed on our wrists. If we were totally still, they didn’t cut us. But in the bitterly cold cells, when we shook with cold, our wrists would be torn by the nails.

Christians were hung upside-down on ropes and beaten so severely that their bodies swung back and forth under the blows. Christians were also placed in ice-box "refrigerator cells," which were so cold that frost and ice covered the inside. I was thrown into one while I had very little clothing on. Prison doctors would watch through an opening until they saw symptoms of freezing to death, then they would give a signal and guards would rush in to take us out and make us warm. When we were finally warmed, we would immediately be put back into the ice-box cells to freeze. Thawing out, then freezing to within minutes of death, then being thawed out—over and over again! Even today there are times when I can’t bear to open a refrigerator.

We Christians were sometimes forced to stand in wooden boxes only slightly larger than we were. This left no room to move. Dozens of sharp nails were driven into every side of the box, with their razor-sharp points sticking through the wood. While we stood perfectly still, it was all right. But we were forced to stand in these boxes for endless hours; when we became fatigued and swayed with tiredness, the nails would pierce our bodies. If we moved or twitched a muscle—there were the horrible nails.

What the Communists have done to Christians surpasses any possibility of human understanding. I have seen Communists whose faces while torturing believers shone with rapturous joy. They cried out while torturing the Christians, "We are the devil!"

Currently Listening The Essential Jars of Clay By Jars of Clay jealous kind see related

when the only way out seems to be suicide (& mistakes made on purpose)

sometimes we just do things that we regret and it puts us in situations that drive us to places that we never wanted to go.  you ignored the warning signs and ignored the principles... and now your left with regret and fear. 

where to go?

it all just falls apart, right?

sometimes instead of hitting a wall you just need to hit your knees.  it may not save you from the consequence's, but biblically, hitting your knees should be to bring glory to God not selfish escape from holes we've dug.  but, in His mercy and grace, He may just save you from the greatest extents of the consequences. 

Currently Listening Song to the King By Pocket Full of Rocks see related

the glory to be revealed decimates the sufferings of today

Rom 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

what a powerful message!!!

we will suffer all our lives here on earth from sin... but the glory that we will find after death will be so wonderful that its not even worth comparing.  that means its not 100 times better, 1000000000000 times better... you might as well just not even compare it.... its that wonderful.

lift your eyes to the throne, because a focus on earth is limited to sorrow and despair.  its the lamb that was slain that gives up hope, our good shepherd will lead us to still waters.  sometimes that path of righteousness will take us to the valley of the shadow of death, but it is there that we find a table prepared for us before our enemies.  do you catch that picture?  your being fed a lucious dinner in the presence of those who hate you, but your calm, because God is protecting you (rod and staff) and your cup runneth over...

we have an eternal hope.