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Although my memory's fading, I remember two things quite clearly:	I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior

GPCDRAMAMAMA
read my profile sign my guestbook Interests: music, singing, my family Expertise: can't imagine Occupation: homeschooling mom Message: message me Member Since: 6/10/2006

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Psalm 29:4-8

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
      Remind me that my days are numbered—
      how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
      My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
      at best, each of us is but a breath.”
                         Interlude
6 We are merely moving shadows,
      and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
   We heap up wealth,
      not knowing who will spend it.
7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
      My only hope is in you.
8 Rescue me from my rebellion.

1:43 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Isn't it odd?

Isn't it odd how you can be having a great life - enjoying things so much - knowing God is with you and is in control.... and then something comes along and throws you a curve ball and you're overwhelmed?

I feel that way. On one side, I'm really happy. Life is sweet - God is good - I feel Him near me and I feel (most of the time) ready to trust Him. I'm having fun, I feel like we've been given a reprieve for awhile from stress and frustrations.... and I'm content.

On the other hand, though, I am overwhelmed with some situations - some situations I just don't know how to handle. Trying to get through.... never being able to make a valid point. Trying to help, but knowing it's not seen that way. Trying to love, but knowing that it's not appreciated. Wanting to advise, but knowing that it's usually seen as meddling and controlling.

All I want to do, really, is love God, glorify Him, be a good wife and mother, be a good friend, be a good witness to those I come into contact with, and raise children who will love the Lord and walk with Him for the rest of their lives. Not that much.... but sometimes it's more than I know how to do. Thank God for God.

Pray for me, please? Being an adult and the things that come with it is so hard sometimes. Worth it - but hard

2:02 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Spiritual Warfare

I have something to say. Or at least, I feel like God wants me to say it.... we'll see how much help it offers.

There are many people struggling. There always are, but I'm realizing, more and more, that spiritual warfare is real and active right around us. There has not been a time more urgently in need of prayer for awhile... please pray. Pray for your friends, for your families... pray for victory over temptations over discouragements over laziness and weakness. Pray for joy in the midst of defeat and despair. Pray for peace in the midst of turmoil. Pray that God will come down with a shout and destroy the evil one in our midst!

Hard times - disappointments, discouragements, frustrations, heart aches.... things like these are "disruptions" - things that disrupt our peaceful lives and make us, if we are wise, look to Jesus to see what we can learn from them. They bomb our idol factories. Luther said, "It is not a bad thing, but a very good sign, if the opposite of what we pray for appears to happen. ... God does all this because it is in His nature first to destroy and bring to nothing whatever is in us before He gives us His very own."

God is walking with us and has greater plans than we can always see - we just need to trust Him.

I have, below, the lyrics to 4 songs which I think will really speak to many of us. They bring me to tears, because they speak so much truth to me. I know - it's easy to just blow off lyrics - skim through them at best. I ask, though, that you will take the time, whenever you can, to read through these lyrics carefully and see if God will speak to You through them. As I read through them just now, various ones of you came to my mind and I thought how these words could offer you comfort if you let them. I really hope they do. I love you so.

Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds

Steven Curtis Chapman

These are the places I was so sure I'd find Him

I've looked in the pages and

I've looked down on my knees

I've lifted my eyes in expectation

To see the sun still refusing to shine

Sometimes He comes in the clouds

Sometimes His face cannot be found

Sometimes the sky is dark and gray

But some things can only be known

Sometimes our faith can only grow

When we can't see

So sometimes He comes in the clouds

Sometimes I see me a sailor out on the ocean

So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear

But when the clouds start to gather

I watch my faith turn to fear

Sometimes He comes in the rain

And we question the pain

And wonder why God can seem so far away

But time will show us

He was right there with us

And sometimes He comes in the clouds....

Bring it On

Steven Curtis Chapman

I didn't come looking for trouble,

And I don't want to fight needlessly,

But I'm not gonna hide in a bubble

If trouble comes for me.

I can feel my heart's beating faster,

I can tell something's coming down.

But if it's gonna make me grow stronger--then

Bring it on,

Let the lightning flash,

Let the thunder roll,

Let the storm winds blow

Bring it on,

Let the trouble come,

Let the hard rain fall,

Let it make me strong

Maybe you're thinking I'm crazy,

And maybe I need to explain some things.

'Cuz I know I've got an enemy waiting

Who wants to bring me pain.

What he never seems to remember,

What he means for evil God works for good,

So I will not retreat or surrender.

Bring it on,

Let the lightning flash,

Let the thunder roll,

Let the storm winds blow,

Bring it on,

Let the trouble come,

Let the heartbreak fall

Let it make me strong

Bring it on!

I don't wanna sound like some hero,

'Cuz it's God alone that my hope is in,

But I'm not gonna run from the very things

That would drive me closer to Him,

So bring it on.

Bring it on,

Let the lightning flash,

Let the thunder roll,

Let the storm winds blow,

Bring it on,

Let the trouble come,

Let it make me fall on the One who's strong,

Bring it on,

Let the lightning flash,

Let the thunder roll,

Let the storm winds blow,

Bring it on,

Let me be made weak

So I'll know the strength

of the One who's strong,

Bring it on.

A Heart That Knows You

Twila Paris

Thought I know so much

But I've got so much to learn

Got so far to go

So much left to burn

Thought I know You well

But I struggle in Your hands

Here again You bring the truth before me

Freedom only comes when I let go... This I know

And a heart that knows You

Is a heart that can wait

Die to the dearest desire

And a heart that knows You

Is a heart that can still celebrate

Following love through the fire

You would never lead

Where You had not been

Every road I face

You go down again

Time has come and gone

Since You walked into the flame

Still there is the pain before the glory

and it is Your will I must embrace

Oh for grace....

It may be for my sake

Just to help me grow

Maybe for Your Kingdom, Lord

I don't need to know

I Will Listen

Twila Paris

Hard as it seems

Standing in dreams

Where is the dreamer now?

Wonder if I wanted to try

Would I remember how?

I don't know the way to go from here,

But I know that I have made my choice,

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice.

This the faith

Patience to wait

When there is nothing clear

Nothing to see, still we believe

Jesus is very near!

I can not imagine what will come

But I've already made my choice

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice

Could it be that He is only waiting there to see

If I will learn to love the dreams

That He has dreamed for me?

Can't imagine what the future holds

But I've already made my choice

And this is where I stand

Until He moves me on

And I will listen to His voice.

2:03 AM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Stuff and such

So my house is a wreck and I'm feeling the stress of it. Cleaning has to happen. I cannot function in a really messy house. I need some clean, neat, tidy areas - and I have none right now.

Louie has delicious licorice. I'm gonna get me some of that stuff.

But more importantly (well - more important than a clean house, though maybe not more important than good licorice?) Two [or maybe three?] things have happened recently that have made me start thinking.

First of all, I was driving somewhere and saw this guy running across the intersection to push a van, which had evidently stalled, across the intersection. He was soon joined by another guy - also running over to help, and then a third guy... and I was really touched. I love seeing people going out of their way to help someone! It gives me faith that there really are good people out there - people who are willing to sacrifice a little bit of themselves to come to the aid of someone else. I know - no one is good, no not one - but God and common grace do bring goodness into this land, and it makes me happy. I need to watch Pay It Forward sometime - though I've heard it has a really sad ending.

Then I talked to my dear friend, Dona Loope, today and I remembered how sweet my friendship with her is. She was, is, and will always be a delight in my life. Though I haven't seen her more than 2 or 3 times in the past 5 or 6 years, my heart still swells when I think of her and when I talk to her. It reminds me that, contrary to what some people would say, you can be friends with someone forever [chorus of "Friends Are Friends Forever..."]. And that even though it's painful when people leave, the pain goes away and the sweetness remains. I'm realizing, more and more, that though I hate the thought of people leaving, I will be able to let them go. "I'll have tears as you take off, but I'll cheer as you fly!"

Lastly, I read something in I Chronicles the other day. I think it's 16:10.

Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

"Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice".... If we're seeking the Lord, we should be rejoicing. There should be nothing on this earth that can cause us to be discouraged or to despair, b/c we will believe that God means it all for our best, and therefore we will be able to rejoice in our sufferings. I am SO far from that! When things don't go my way, I am immediately horizontally-minded and can't think of anything but "When will it get better?!?!"

But I do believe that God is growing me in this area. It wasn't so awfully long ago that I would never have believed or accepted the possibility that I could rejoice in suffering. I still am not sure I'll ever get there, but I know that God can bring me there - if that makes sense.

11:17 PM - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

True Faced, part 2

Here's another excerpt from True Faced:

Most of us will readily admit, "I know I wear masks. Sometimes I feel like I'm working off a prepared script. I'll say the most trite-sounding things in order to cover my real feelings. I don't really like this about me, but I have no idea how to make my masks off.

Most of us will readily admit, "I know I wear masks. Sometimes I feel like I'm working off a prepared script. I'll say the most trite-sounding things in order to cover my real feelings. I don't really like this about me, but I have no idea how to make my masks off.

One of the really good gifts we could receive would be the ability to see where we are and how we got here. We must see that our controlling behavior isn't a response to something happening in the present. It is triggered by some sin in the past that never got resolved.

When we sin or when someone else sins against us, we experience some automatic responses. If we do the sinning, our automatic response is called guilt. If someone else sins against us, our automatic response is called hurt.

Most of us don't know what to do with these internal responses to sin. Like Adam, we feel naked, so we try to hid or override our guilt or hurt. At the moment, it seems like self-preservation. But that choice makes our life confusing, twisted, and dark in a hurry and unleashes a new depth of pain, inner turmoil, and mask-wearing.

The decision to hide or ignore our guilt and hurt leaves the act of sin unresolved. We may try to ignore it or stuff it away, but though it may lie dormant for awhile, unresolved sin is always buried alive.

Nothing in us can absorb sin. Nothing. Even when we are the one being sinned against, we still cannot handle sin, because sin done to us will always ignite the nature of the sin already in us. So, we give ourselves permission to act out sinfully.

The good news is that we can stop the damage at any time by applying God's resources and power to resolve that sin.

Whenever we sin and don't resolve that sin... we release an inevitable force that drains our confidence in who we really are.

Next this we know, we're looking for a top-of-the-line mask - maybe several. We hastily snatch them up.... "I'm better than most," "I'm very together," "I don't really care," "I am self sufficient," "I've very important," "I'm competent enough to be loved," "I'm competent enough to not need love," "I have the answers," "I'm independent," or "I am cool." But all the while our heart whispers, "You're a fake, an imposter, a loser. You always have been. You always will be. You may fool others, but I know who you are. You're a joke, the definition of a hypocrite. You have no self-respect."

It is very expensive to wear a mask. For one thing, no one ever gets to see my face. I never experience the love of others because when I wear a mask, only my mask receives love! I sense I'm still not loved and self-diagnose that maybe my mask wasn't good or tight enough. So I delve even more desperately into mask-wearing, convinced maybe that the next one will present what you want and prove I'm worthy to receive your love. I also cannot give love from behind a mask, at least not love from the real me.

Hebrews 11 declares, "And without faith it is impossible to please God." So trusting God pleases God. If our primary motive is Pleasing God, we never please Him enough and we never learn trust. That's because life on this road is all about my striving, my effort, my ability to make something happen. But if our primary motive is Trusting God, we find out that He is incredibly pleased with us.

So pleasing God is actually a byproduct of trusting God. But we'd rather work like a dog to keep God happy than this absurd thought of trying to trust Him with ourselves.

More right behavior + Less wrong behavior = Godliness?

This disregards the godliness - righteousness - that God has already placed on us at infinite cost, and will sabotage our journey. We can never resolve our sin by working on it. Nor can our striving to sin less keep us from future sins.

The Apostle Paul tries to help us think our way out of this trap:

Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren't perfectly victorious, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was "trying to be good," I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.

Many have spent their entire lives serving God, yet they are broken, defeated, lonely, and full of despair - they have placed all their efforts in "trying to be good."

Pleasing God is an incredibly good longing. But it can't be our primary motivation, or it will imprison our hearts. If we strive to please God by solving our sin, we are back at the same insufficient square one that put us in need of a savior.

When our motive is Trusting God, our value will be "Living out of Who God Says I Am." Have we already been changed? Yes. As day is from night, we have changed. We have received a new heart, for crying out loud! We have a brand-new core identity. We have already been changed, and now we get to mature into who we already are.

Isn't that terrific? A reminder that we don't have to strive and stress to please God. We are freed to spend our time getting to know Him better, loving Him more, because we know that out of that we will then serve and please because that will be the fruit of loving God. If we could just truly believe that, imagine what a changed world we might live in!

3:37 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it

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