| so I’m about pissed
this is me bitching...just warning you.
so
I’m a lot of things. Inconsiderate isn’t one of them. My mother on the
other hand has her moments. I cook dinner, stay and watch jeopardy and
wheel of fortune, help work on crossword puzzles, I take care of the
dog that she agreed to take, wash dishes, climb down in our basement
and clean and flush it when it’s flooded, I buy groceries, fix shit
around the house, plan to fix the roof with logan and lend her my car
when her’s breaks down. I’m a good son. But today logan was insisting
that we leave the house and go to my dad’s because I was one bitter
cunt comment away from exploding on her and ruining our relationship
because I can be mean and I was about to be very frank.
so the
begining of this was long ago. She’s been taking me for granted. The
more and more she does it recently i feel the need to call her out...but
I haven’t. She calls me and tells me the dog’s broke his chain and I
should go look for him. so I do. then she says I should call the
police. so I go and talk to the ones down the street. She calls me to
tell me he’s at the humaine society. so I take his tag and papers to go
get him. why the fuck was it necessary for me to do all this? I was
away she was home when he broke off. She would have a better chance of
finding him, she acted as though she was 10 years old asking me what to
do, I talked to the police, I went to get him I paid for him to get out
...I’m sick of being the adult. she acts like she’s helpless...she’s
not.
It’s always what’s good for her...she’s tired, she’s
hungry, she’s not feeling well, she doesn’t want this or does want
that. She’s a rather selfish person. Normally I don’t care either...It's
just wearing my patience thin with her today. I am sick, tired, and
blah today.
She left me a message that I needed to let the dog out
and that I could buy a chain if I wanted. then later in the day she
called and acted like a fucking barbarian yelling at me because I
hadn’t bought one yet...She said she told me to...I said no you said I
could take him for a walk or buy one so I took him for a walk...I have
the voicemail to prove it...She just said WELL I can’t take him on walks you have to buy a chain I know I told you to do it."
Me "no you didn’t you said I could...or take him for a walk...nevermind I’ll buy one while we’re out.
Mom " it doesn’t take an idiot to know I meant buy him one."
and that’s when I lost my patenice the first time.
So I replied "no it doesn’t mom I’m FUCKING RETARDED. You need to stop being so passive aggressive!"
Mom "I’m not being passive aggressive!"
Me " Yes you are. You’re not saying what you mean. Stop it."
some how it got mild after that....maybe I just shocked the shit out of her by talking back....
Then later after I had ran errands and gotten back. I brushed the dog
and tried to make conversation even though I was livid. Then I informed
her of the next dinner night which has become somewhat of a regular
thing..for good reason I half started it so she could have some company
more than me for dinner at least one night a week. But she told me that
I
had to clean the house before people came over. Implying that she was
going to do the same thing she always does, just sit in it, until some
one else fixes it. I clean at least two or three times a week and I
mega clean one room about once every three weeks.
I completely
cleaned out the kitchen table, cabinets. stove, fucking everything.
same with the dining room another day....and it aways gets cluttered
again and since I’m there like three days a week..it’s not my fault and
even if it was she could help, but oh no it’s donna’s world and every
one should bend to her....
if you’ve made it this far, don’t
get me wrong. I love my mom. she raised me and sheltered me. She’s
funny, caring, and compassionate. She just pisses me off in alot of
ways too. Like her cynicism, bitterness, passive aggressiveness, hatred
of men, lack of trust, moodiness, etc.I don’t care if it’s because of
her past it doesn’t make it right...or appropriate. I just never know
what mom I’m going to encounter on any given day...and she can change
in a minute....and we’re starting to but heads more and more because
I’m not taking it anymore I don’t care if it starts conflict I’m not
biting my tongue anymore. and that’s why I got the number of the guy
who owns those apartments in fremont from nick...because I think our
relationship will be so much better once I’m not living with her or
dad....because I think she resents the fact that I stay with dad for
any length of time and tries to use me staying with her as
leverage...so it’ll be better.
Sorry for the length...I normally don’t spew my emotions out this much...thanks for reading.
Peace out -beau- |
