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Saturday, August 19, 2006

  • Of Pigs And Girl Scouts

    There's a reason Alton Brown is my favorite of the tv chefs, and this has only partly to do with him describing cooking in terms of scientific process.

    Copied from: http://www.altonbrown.com/adventure/knowledge/edible_news.html

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    Omega Pigs

    The New York Times reports on March 27th that a flock of university researchers at Harvard, U. of MO and U. of Pittsburgh Med schools Have created cloned pigs that produce omega-3 fatty acids.   Pigs photoWhy would one wish to do such a thing?  Because it is generally believed that Omega-3s are so good for your heart that consuming them can improve your chances of not dropping dead of heart disease, that is unless other mitigating factors such as never exercising, eating lots of yummy saturated fats and possessing a doomed genetic code don’t get in the way.   Omega 3 fatty acids seem to possess anti-inflammatory, anti-arrhythmic (prevent funny heart activity), and thrombogenic (prevent blood clots) powers which combined act as a bodyguard for the heart. Omega 3’s enter our diet primarily through cold, slimy things with scales, that is fish, especially oily, cold-water dwellers like salmon.  I believe this may have something to do with the fact that eating fish is generally considered a good thing to do.

    The good (and obviously very smart) folks who are developing these swine clearly believe that what they are doing is good.  Here are some possible reasons:

    Some people just can’t choke down fish, any fish and it doesn’t seem fair that they should be robbed of their chance to get a grip on the chemical life-saver that is Omega-3.  Of course Omega-3s are available in dietary supplements so that’s probably not it.

    Perhaps they feel that more people would feel good about eating pork if they knew it was good for their heart.  Can you imagine doctors prescribing baby back ribs, double cut pork chops and entire butts of smoked hog?  Man that would be nice, but why stop there.

    Here’s why I’m going to be shifting all my food research donation money to help find an Omega-3 producing clonal porcine: maybe, just maybe, this will get us a step closer to producing an Omega-3 baring, low saturated fat, no sugar, zero carb, macrobiotic girl scout cookie.  I mean there’s a goal worth supporting.  If I could just get everything I need, and none of what I don’t from a tube of thin mints, then all this science would not have been in vain.

    I’m joking only because the idea of an Omega-3 bearing pig makes me so mad I could snort. I bet if I could get some of these guys on the phone, which I can’t, they would tell me that this could be a break through that would make life-giving Omega-3s available to more people, and without taxing the supplies of the sea life that actually, naturally make the stuff.  Well then, maybe, just maybe we should be putting our science behind saving the fish!  Maybe then we wouldn’t need Omega-3 producing pigs.  If we put all our nutrients into one menu item, then even more kids will head off to college not eating more than about 6 items, which by the way isn’t something I made up.  Those people are out there and in a few years they’ll be deciding whether or not you get a home loan.

    I realize I’m not hip to all the scientific possibilities of these amazing days, but I do have a deep suspicion that putting fish parts, no matter how small, into pigs is…stupid.

    Besides, if science wanted to do us a favor, it would stick those Omega-3s in French Fries, or as previously stated…Girl Scout cookies.

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Monday, August 14, 2006

  • The Benefits of Cybernetics

    Bike tires are fickle beasts. Several weeks ago, I got my bike up and running again; attached the derailers, replaced the brake pads, slapped on a new chain and generally made sure all the pieces were aligned properly. This lasted a good couple of weeks, when my rear tire tube went out on me. Blasted things. I replaced the tube and the very next day, it went out on me again. Just to get this out of the way, I'm mildly retarded. My bike was left alone to wallow in its misery for a while as I looked around for my spare tubes. So this past weekend, I found them and James had picked me up one from the shop he works in.

    So this morning, I'm all set and pop up in one of these babies and fill it up to about 80 psi. Did you know that a snapping shrimp's defense mechanism involves rapidly closing a their claws to create a highly pressurized bubble that explodes. This cavitation wave bursts out at hundreds of decibels, with a small piece of it breaching several thousand kelvin. It's capable of killing fish and shattering glass. Knowing this, you can imagine my joy when I peek around on the side of my tube and see that a section of the tube has expanded to push the enclosing tire out of its track. Did I mention I'm retarded? Futily, I push on it to see if I can slide the tire back in, then bewilderly watch as this little bubble seems to be growing slightly. It's at this moment that I see a black shrapnel shard stuck into the tire, just near this spot.

    Unfortunately, bubbles wait for no man or their desires to inspect sharp objects lodged in their possessions. In a split second, the tubing rapidly expands, shooting a volley of highly pressurized air my way as I drop the wheel. Blinking my eyes a few times and waiting for my ears to stop ringing, the damages suffered are minimal. With a curse and the rear end of a hammer, the gremlin metal bit flips from its grasp. 2 tubes pissed away to incompetence. Hoorah.

    Fortunately, all of that nonsense did get worked out and for the first time in a week or two, I was able to ride into work. Paid extra attention to the condition of that back tire, but otherwise it was good to be moving again. On my trip down the jail trail, I spooked a pigeon on the side of the rode. This pigeon did the strangest thing. It began to fly directly in front of me, zig-zagging back and forth along the rode, staying at low altitude so I was still right along side it, flying with it. We went down the ride like this for some time until the bird had enough and peeled off to land in the grass. If you ever get the chance to fly alongside a bird, I highly recommend it.

    Now it's a damn shame that I don't have some functional cybernetic implants. The shortcuts that are being wired into my brain for the memory of that bird are nowhere near sufficient. I want a picture perfect visual replica of what my eyes saw this morning and offload it onto my home computer's hard drive, forever there so I can watch it whenever I want. I'd be satisfied a lightweight, durable wearable computer. It would also be nice to not be so brain-dead and remember to remove schrapnel from a bike tire so that every tube you put inside of it doesn't puncture and explode in your face. Until then, life will remain interesting as I enjoy my brain's deficiencies.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

  • Medley

    ---
    me: I think I've got it.
    Roar = lion
    Rawr = bear
    ---
    Marcus: Iraq is deteriorating into a civil war
    1000 people have died in Lebanon
    And we scan our high school students for bombs and weapons due to 9-11.
    me: I ate a bagel with hummus this morning
    Marcus: Bagel with hummus.  Mmmm...
    me: exactly
    nothing soothes the moral conscience of being a part of thousands of deaths like grains and smashed chick peas
    ---
    Frankie: yeah, I was like, "WTF mate - at least ask me to name the colonies"
    the original colonies
    me: at which point, you also said
    "I know the original 13 colonies!"
    "You guys got off lucky! God save the queen!
    Frankie: yeah
    and when asked why I want to become a US Citizen, I replied, "You guys have better teeth."
    I might have to give a speech at the course house during the swearing in...
    Frankie: <blah blah> "It is the responsibility of us, the people, the Citizens of the Unitied States, to uphold our duty by questioning the conduct of our government..." (at which point I'll be arrested)
    ---
    http://n.nfshost.com/1.html
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    Mitch: (sorry, I'm used to a much more evil degree of punnery)
    (eg, dinner with folks and doug and daryna resulting in doug referring to the potatoes as a one-way hash.)
    (The sick thing was, EVERYONE got it)
    ---

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

  • This space intentionally left blank

    I've been trying to come up with something meaningful to say about my vacation to Colorado. Having failed that, I'll sum up.

    Chipmunks > Squirrels. More courageous and lively. Smaller. Cuter. Neither have anything to worry about from the LGB variety of rodents.

    Mountain. Rain. Wind. Lightning. Thunder. I'm going to continue to make a habit of visiting the Tundra in Rocky Mtn. Nat. Park every time I visit there. See picture above.

    Family. Seeing people in time lapse reality is very telling. Consequences and motivations become more clear. Lots of good people in this mix, and I'm glad to see an old rivalry continuing to die down; a shame it's caused by a decrease in self-esteem rather than just ego. The population of in-laws in my generation is swelling.

    Serenity. With all the mountains in Pittsburgh, you'd think I would be able to find a place where I can sit in calm and look at them.

    Motivation. Batteries have reached sufficient levels again. The time off there really got me motivated, not to go back to work, but to delve back into the things of interest that I have been neglecting. Kung fu. Strategy. Reading. Slack lining. Narrative games. You know, all the activities that requires some amount of energy and satisfy me.

    Memories. Some good. Some sour. Inevitable with all the nostalgic bits swimming around.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

  • Wet Dream

    I've been known to be able to fall asleep pretty much anywhere; random couches, cars driving near hurricanes, chairs, floors, lawns, rock formations, trees. Sometimes it's me falling asleep intentionally and others, it's just me passing out. Last night was definitely the second case.

    Hanging out on our raggedy porch couch, I was looking out at the dark field and listening to a basketball bounce off the court and clink on the rim. Tired, my head soon hit the pillow and out I went. Sleep is a funny thing. One conscious moment you'll be completely aware of your surroundings. The next you'll have nothing and pieces will slowly come to you. My first observation at this point was wet. "Why is my head getting wet?" My knees were being splattered with water. There was some roaring noise going on all around me. Slowly, I sat up, blinked groggily and tilted my head around to see what was going on. Rain. An immense downpour of rain pounding on the street and cars around. "Why the hell is it raining everywhere?" I sat there confused, but forgot about it and just relaxed gazing out.

    Eventually my awkward bedding for the night came to my attention, and my bearings came back to me. Shrugging and still tired, I plopped my head down on the pillow and fell back asleep listening to the rain. It's been a while since I've actually felt connected to my natural surroundings.

    I should do that more often.

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