Tuesday, August 17, 2004
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Mood:
Music: Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings.mp3"Out of all my kids, I worry about you the most."When I was very young, and the idea of death and what it meant was first realized by me, I cried for an entire day. I wept and wept, until finally my parents came home and I ran into my Mothers arms and I told her that I didn't want to die, tears streaming down my little face. She held me for awhile, all the time patting my back and telling me not to cry, but I just couldn't stop. I asked her why, why I should stop crying, and why she wasn't crying herself (I broke the news to her that she too, after all, would someday die). And do you know what she told me--her little boy with a soul so sullen that it had discovered the weight of death before ever being exposed to it? She told me about something that, up until that point, I'd never really known anything of; something that made all my tears stop, right there, right then...
She told me about Heaven.
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i'm with bev...i honestly don't know how to comment on this entry. granted i haven't commented in forever so i (theoretically) should have something to say...but i'm so awestruck at the subject of this entry. i mean, it's so rare for someone to share an experience so personal as their first realization ror experience with death. it takes a lot of courage and trust to expose that part of one's self to other people. but that's why i love you, sean. you give yourself to other people with no apologies or rose-colored glasses. you write what you feel, and you do it honestly. i guess my only question now is, do you believe in heaven? i know that after such bad things happen on earth, it's hard to believe a place like heaven could exist. but maybe the low times we experience now is the hell that we are so afraid to end up in. or maybe i'm just rambling incoherently because i need sleep. yea, i think that's it.
Posted 8/17/2004 at 2:05 AM by Camillegeez sean. i mean, even if you didn't have that little golden fields pic, the effect woulda been about the same. SO CAN YOU PLEASE JUST BE A WRITER? forget the comp, man...WRITE FOR GOODNESS' SAKES. WRITE SOME SHORT STORIES OR NOVELS OR POETRY OR SOMETHING. GET SOMETHING PUBLISHED.
Posted 8/17/2004 at 6:42 PM by Tiffanyyou know what i thought about after you randomly IMed me today?? i love our online relationship. its great. its become one of those things where we're both just "saying our hellos". the best thing about it is that theres no drama to it...just some good, wholesome salutations. anyway...just want you to know that even though weeks may pass by before we update each other with new hellos...i'm still stalking you. just ask beverly...she knows. every once in a while i'll IM her hoping that she can fill me in with what you write about in your entries. keep smiling...its a refreshing change.
Posted 8/18/2004 at 1:24 PM by ChristineYou truly are an amazing writer sean, you always have been ... its about time the world sees it *=)
im glad were still friends after so long, and im happy that life is going well for you, i dont know what else to say so, take care and rememeber life is weird, so very very weird.... MUAHAHAHAHA... maybe i need to catch some "sheeo" too haha.. Bye
Posted 8/18/2004 at 7:09 PM by Cassandra
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Comments (17)
for me death never needed to be explained to me. it was always there. i remember my grandfather dying when i was really young, and being young i didn't really understand it, i remember playing with my cousins at the memorial. as i kept growing older, we had pets that died, and it was just a part of life... i wish i had someone to ease the pain for me while i got older... lucky you.
love you
absolutely fantastic.
I'm not sure what else I can say except that you are a great writer. I always look forward to your entries and whether or not I make it clear, I enjoy them very much. It's nice to hear such eloquent words amongst all this ghettoness... LOL. I <3 you.
i love ur entry ..
take caree.
now whether or not you believe in heaven today doesn't really matter does it? because just the event of your mom telling you for the first time has stuck with you and has made a big enough inpact on your life for you to write about today. maybe you dont believe in heaven but it sounds like your mom is your little version of heaven. hmm maybe i shot too far with that one but it sounds good in my head! (as do many things that usually dont end up making sense)
mmmm so behind on homework, must get back to my other assignment.
of all words in the english dictionary...
i have no idea what to say.
im glad were still friends after so long, and im happy that life is going well for you, i dont know what else to say so, take care and rememeber life is weird, so very very weird.... MUAHAHAHAHA... maybe i need to catch some "sheeo" too haha.. Bye
hello sean. thats a freaky user pic you have there lol. well, i hope that you will visit me sometime in the dorms! it'll be awesome, all full of messy people and strange nerds. maybe you will find some ppl that play cs or wc or ut or whatever is the fun thing to do these days. actually im sure you would. i like the picture - - very nice.