Tuesday, August 24, 2004
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Mood:
Music: Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams - Without Us.mp3
"If I ever lost you, I'd spend my whole life looking for you again."
I know it's been said that you are your own worst critic, but I really do feel that I've taken this simple concept to ever higher, more ridiculous standards. For all my internet bravado, I am shockingly lacking in confidence where it truly matters. I'm so laughably hyper-sensitive, in fact, to certain subjects that even things said which are clearly meant to be taken as jokes can bring me to tears, in an instant.
You wanna know how to hurt me? Tell me that I can be replaced. Better yet, show me. Show me that I'm not different. Show me that I'm not worth it. Show me that you don't need me, want me, or care that I'm there. Because, the truth is, I just can't stand to be anything less than amazing to you.
I can't stand to be anything less than your everything.
Featured Comment(s):
I don't know if this post is directed towards anyone, but I had to leave my mark. It's been awhile since I've last commented on one of your entries. I hope this is up to par with all my past featured comments.
The one thing that makes you stand out from other guys is the thing I won't ever understand...why do you care so much? I'm so sorry that I told you things that should have been kept to myself, but you know me, I confess everything to you. Even when I'm being obnoxious and careless, you're there to yell at me and later on give me songs that seem to flood me with the memories of us. Even when the dust has settled and I'm slowly but surely moving on, you're still there. These past few days, I've felt my heart open up to you again. I've felt that genuine kind of love that you only seem to produce within me. I feel that there's hope for us. (It doesn't help when you argue that I don't know what's going to happen in the future whenever I say that we're never going to be together again.) I thought I closed the book on you, Sean. Our run, although beautiful and amazing, is finished. You've found your heart and I'm patiently waiting for my 2nd greatest love.
I can't let you know that there will always be that piece of me that will be in love with you. I can't let you know that I don't honestly want to be with anyone, but you. I can't let you know that I love you just as you are. I can't let you know that no one in their damn mind would do the things you've done for me and that's why I have faith. I can't let you know that deep down inside, you are my everything...well what do you know...i just confessed...
"You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close..."
I'll shoot for the dreamhouse.
Posted 8/24/2004 at 11:43 AM by Mary Ann
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Comments (5)
I don't know if this post is directed towards anyone, but I had to leave my mark. It's been awhile since I've last commented on one of your entries. I hope this is up to par with all my past featured comments.
The one thing that makes you stand out from other guys is the thing I won't ever understand...why do you care so much? I'm so sorry that I told you things that should have been kept to myself, but you know me, I confess everything to you. Even when I'm being obnoxious and careless, you're there to yell at me and later on give me songs that seem to flood me with the memories of us. Even when the dust has settled and I'm slowly but surely moving on, you're still there. These past few days, I've felt my heart open up to you again. I've felt that genuine kind of love that you only seem to produce within me. I feel that there's hope for us. (It doesn't help when you argue that I don't know what's going to happen in the future whenever I say that we're never going to be together again.) I thought I closed the book on you, Sean. Our run, although beautiful and amazing, is finished. You've found your heart and I'm patiently waiting for my 2nd greatest love.
I can't let you know that there will always be that piece of me that will be in love with you. I can't let you know that I don't honestly want to be with anyone, but you. I can't let you know that I love you just as you are. I can't let you know that no one in their damn mind would do the things you've done for me and that's why I have faith. I can't let you know that deep down inside, you are my everything...well what do you know...i just confessed...
"You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close..."
I'll shoot for the dreamhouse.
You are soooo EMO.
Good luck, and keep searching for that rainbow!!!
hey wuts up props for u
"been a little bit restless since you left me. been thinking bout all the things you said. you know they say lovin' don't come easy. still i thought it would be different for me. oh you know momma she said do it on your own. but even momma needed help now and then. and i don't know if i can go any further without you in my life. and i dont know why i the hell i even bother without you by my side. Said everyone needs a hand to guide them. Sometimes pride gets in the way. My God, it seems at times I'm going crazy. Still I gotta just take it day by day..." -Pure Heart