Genius_Issue's Xanga

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 13:45:25 GMT

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Five Year's On...

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 10:26:13 GMT

I was fresh into my first year of college in the middle of Ames, Iowa - nearly twenty five day's out of last being in New York City - and I was stuck in a massive wave of students, corn, and endless amounts of walking.

The weather was remarkable for the past two week's I was in school... every day was pretty much perfect. It is scary to think that on a clear day like that day so much evil could come out of it. If I remember right, it was a Wednesday, and I had just went to breakfast with some of my new friends I had made through various activities. I really liked those guys.

I had done my morning routine - took a shower, went and ate breakfast, talked a little with some of the guys straggling out to whatever they had - I was lucky that I didn't have class until 10 but it wouldn't matter any ways. And then I turned on the "Today" show - I know I know but I thought Katie Courtic and Matt Lauer were so hot together - and watched what I could while deciding what to do with my morning.

I remember flipping back and forth between NBC and ESPN because I was nervous about the AL East playoff run. I think the Yankee's were a couple games ahead of the Red Sox's and the Red Sox's were in for a real hard race for the Wild Card spot.

And I remember Katie and Matt talking about some random topic about flowers and then Katie looked at the Camera and "It appear's a plane has run into one of the towers..." My mind got so quite, and goose bumps formed on my arms. The world just stood still. All of us that were around to comprehend what happened know what happened next - so you don't need me to explain that.

My Mom lost 5 friends that day. My neighbor, who live's three houses over, had lost a couple handful of friends/family/acquaintances. My Uncle was in the American Express building when it happened and we didn't hear from him for two days.

I almost instinctively called my Mom, "Mom, are you alright?" "Yes, I can't believe this, are you ok Brian?" "I don't know. Can you get a hold of Uncle Chet?" "No, they are saying the lines are jammed there." "Ok, every thing is going to be ok."

So many thoughts were running through my head. Was the barber I got my hair cut from alright, was the nice lady that talked to me on a subway alright, was any one alright? What in the fuck had just happened? This is the United States Of America, shit like this doesn't happen. Shit like this can't happen. WTF??!

What seemed like a near perfect day went down in a blaze of glory real fast. So many emotions ran through every one and it was just this awful awful feeling. Ask any New Yorker that was in the city that day how they felt before it all happened and nearly all of them will tell you it was a weird morning. Just so scary. Really.

After five years I'm kind of pissed at certain people. I'm pissed at Al Queda for changing the world, I'm pissed at President Bush for using 9/11 to fuel his own agenda, and I'm pissed at our government for not making sense of what happened. On 9/11, I seriously thought World War III was about to begin. I thought so much would change about the way I live and what I do from here on out. And in a lot of ways it did, but still many things remain the same.

And I think just as much as we would like to say that we will never forget - I think a lot of people would rather forget. I understand awful things happening, and I understand that great tradegies make us uncomfortable... and God forbid they ever happen again, but things like 9/11 are so easy to put aside and say that we will never forget but in fact we've rid it of our mind.

I remember it because the world can change in a matter of minutes. Literally. And I became a smarter American after that - more aware of what was going on in the world and more in tune with what I need to do to help this world become a better place. I promised myself - after a few days of thought that I would make sure every generation would know from here on out what happened on that day... so that we never do forget.

My Pet Peeves

Tue, 23 May 2006 14:35:47 GMT

1) People who walk slow.
2) People who walk faster than me and speed up when I try to pass them.
3) People who walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk.
4) People who talk on their cell phones in restaurants.
5) People who overuse the word random.
6) People who think being gay is an excuse.
7) People who point it out when I make spelling errors.
8) People who are rude.
9) People who are easily intimidated.
10) People who disturb me while I'm reading.
11) People who use the word "dude".
12) Bill O'Reilly
13) Blindly obedient religious people.
14) Homos.... j/k!
15) People who always have to be right.
16) Professional athletes who make more money than they deserve to.
17) Old people who drive. And I believe in making them take a test.
18) Lazy people.
19) College kids who think they know every thing.
20) People who need to be drunk to have fun.
21) People who like anime.
22) People who quote Billy Madison.
23) People/Rednecks that like Nascar.
24) People who don't tip servers at restaurants.
25) People who leave crappy tips at restaurants.
26) Men that whore themselves to become more popular.
27) People who pass me on the highway when I'm already going 10 mph over the speed limit.
28) People who still try to pass me even after I speed up to prevent them from passing.
29) People who point out that all my pet peeves are things that people do.
30) People that contradict me.
31) Selfish people that don't do what I tell them to.
32) People who tap there pencial's or type too loud.
33) People who wear shorts and flipflops outisde when it's 30 degrees.
34) People that get pissy with me at work when they send their file wrong and expect me to do something about it.
35) People that ask dumb questions.
36) People that do not have manners
37) People who want it "There way or the highway"
38) Politicians who pretend to care about America when they really don't.
39) Girls who pretend to be ditsy to get attention.
40) Girls that hit on me because they don't realize I like boys.
41) rain for more then a day
42) People that never shut up
43) Animal rights activists and other assorted hippies
44) Parents who shouldn't be parents
45) Impatient people (excluding myself)
46) Religious fanatics who stand outside the library and hold up signs.
47) My best friend Billie's psychotic future mother in law
48) My mother filing her nails.
49) Nancy boys that wear white Diesel shoes and tiptoe through the grass like it will kill them.
50) Minnesota drivers.
51) People who can't make up there mind.
52) People who stay in there comfort zone.
53) People who talk down to others.
54) Those that make fun of disabled, different, or mentally challenged individuals.
55) My cell phone dropping a call.
56) People stating I'm spoiled, picky, or something else.
57) There not being enough good people in the world. Especially the gay world.
58) When a piano is out of tune.
59) People who don't know what they want in life. Its ok to not have an exact idea, but you should at least have some direction.
60) Sand in my shoes.
61) Men who think they are too cute for others.
62) Asian Buffets.
63) When every one else can figure out something and I don't
64) Inside jokes.
65) Those stop lights on turnpikes to the highways.
66) Rap Music that makes no sense what so ever... and calling it music.
67) Limo Liberals.

PS ~ I've been on an Xanga Block. This used to be so personal - now every one is gone.

Bri

Learning to Fly...

Wed, 03 May 2006 08:26:28 GMT

Well I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
The town lit up the world got still

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Comin' down is the hardest thing

Well the good old days may not return
And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Comin' down is the hardest thing

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God knows where
But I guess I'll know when I get there

I'm learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly but I ain't got wings
Comin' down is the hardest thing
I'm learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly
I'm learning to fly

Bri

Friday, April 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 14:25:10 GMT

Yeah. Let's Go Play outside.

Wow!

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 14:36:29 GMT

That was a good night.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 12:35:17 GMT

Bri

You Suck Donkey Balls!

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 12:40:27 GMT

OK! Enough! Point taken! President 'Fucking' Bush sucks donkey balls. I am sorry I wasted my life trying to figure out what to do with him in 2004 and I am sorry that I voted for him - but KERRY? I mean - the guy was a tool too. Every fucking politican in this God forsaken country is a tool - what do you want me to do about it? Ok, maybe not Obama - but who doesn't like Obama - even the Conservative Christian right like him - but only to a point and with extreme lukewarm feelings.

Just think - Kerry was worth just as much as big earred dude that went up against Clinton in the 1990's - the guy came from money... there was NO way on this earth he would have been for small people when he lives in a 20 million dollar house - I couldn't even pull that off. And I am not a democrat completely - I one of those weird conservative democrat's who have no lives and dwell in caves bitching and moaning about how much lack of representation we get. AND FOR THE LOVE OF MY HEART will some one shut up the mainstream media.

BTW - Oil by the barrel just jumped to 70 dollars today - I know those of you who don't drive or live in big cities and get to walk every where don't care - but that means that gas prices are going to be between 2.60 and 2.90. OH, and to make it better, the retiring CEO of EXXON (that gas company that just had record profits the past year - making an estimated 36 billion dollars in profits - more then WALMART!!! - yeah, that company) is going to give its CEO 400 MILLION DOLLARS for retirement! HOLY FUCKING DAMN! I need to get that guys job.

Reasons why:

1. No one would keep tabs on me because I would be basically running the President of the United State of America.
2. The Senators would hold a meeting to yell at me and try to embarass me in front of the public only to give me a tax back two weeks later because they embarassed me.
3. Because no one cares that they should have to pay 3.00 + dollars for gas.
4. Our President is in Oil - and there fore they would never allow for different ways of fuel to come into the market as companies like Ford and GM try to push different patents into the market (like Hydro fuel and such) and the government does NOTHING about it - so much for looking for different fuel opportunities. Bunch of Bull Shit.

Ok. I'm done. Any one else ready for the end of the world?

Bri

Friday, April 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 12:53:05 GMT

I did a very heterosexual thing yesterday - well - I do a lot of heterosexual things in my life because being gay doesn't make me want to wear dresses or jump like a pansy - any ways, I spent most of the evening golfing on one of my favorite courses. I know I know - I really am not gay I just happen to be trapped in some body that crave's penises? Sure, why not? I think a lot of what makes the world go round for me is that I am able to find solitude in things that involve myself and only myself. The whole idea of being lost in the middle of an open field whacking away at a pointless one inch radius ball comforts me. Or the fact that no matter how hard I try to force the damn ball into a little two inch hole it will not crack under pressure. That is life.

I can blame my Dad for making me a man and my Mom for making me gay. Yes - you heard it here first - my mother is the reason I like penises and would never in my life touch a vagina - unless some ungodly amount of money was offered and I would be able to live off the interest for the rest of my life - but to the point, she taught me things that make the world important. Like caring for those that are less forunate then you are because no matter how bad you think you have it there is always some one else who could have it worse. She taught me italian and sign language - how to be a gentlemen and when to be polite and when not to be polite (which is basically all the time) - the fact that love is not something that simply falls into your lap but instead takes a long time to figure out - that you should never wear white pants before Memorial Day (but who really follows this, I see men break this promise all the time and who really wants to see what type of underwear (or lack there of) you are wearing) - and most importantly, that if you know how to knit you know how to live life. Right.

So back to the main story; I love golf... a lot. For reasons that many of you gay men would never know - because being on the golf course is one of the few santuaries I have on this oh-so-big world we call earth. I am sure some of you have nail salons or hair salons that you find just as refreshing but mine revolves hitting a golf ball and enjoying nature at its best. So when I'm in dire need to figure out what is up with my hopeless romantic life and the vital reason for my insanity; I go golfing. Yeah - the solitude is great - but there is nothing like having an open land to just figure shit out and do it while enjoying some thing I love to be doing. What is every one else's santuary?

The biggest question I have always had with my life as a gay man has been the assumption people make about who I am and how I am going to behave. The labeling that exist. And the intimidation through labeling. At least, when I was sixteen and I came out a lot of the people I came out to (besides my parents who apparently know every thing) were shocked that I was "GAY." How could the catcher of the baseball team and the happy go lucky kid be gay?? The very guy that had women all over him and wanted to be around him?? I was thinking how could they not see it and am I the only one who is gay? Haha - what a great time that was! Not really, because coming out is like trying to flush yourself down the toilet and hoping it flushes with out the thing a ma gig to unclog it (I can't remember what they are called, sorry.)

I mean - I like being gay - because it gives me excuses to be really handisome at what I do in my daily life - kind of like trying to be a metrosexual but failing awfully at it. I have this pot of pretty fake flowers on my desk that I'm sure no heterosexual man would ever dare have on his desk. Or the really cute photo I have of my really close friends and I on my wall where we were at some gay club half slutty and half drunk and we all look like we could be the bonified gay type. Or the fact that in my car stereo cd player there is Madonna, Billy Joel, Levi Kreis, and my iPod of gayness. Or the fact that I have a crush on two people: Dido and Matthew McConaughey. And I have a poster of him in my room and I want his children.

So yeah, there are a few things that make me gay but these things don't sum me up as a whole. Like the fact that when I was in high school I was the captian of the baseball team and the golf team (which we one state in twice when i was on the team), or that I have enough baseball cards to make Jesus jealous, or that I only have four pairs of shoes and two pairs of sandals and one pair of flip flops (which I can wear again YAY!) or that I drive a pick up truck, or that I don't like to shave and I grow up my stubbled "beard" and I think it makes me look hot; or that I don't like design or interior design, and I don't like peddle pushers, and I don't like that gay channel they have now, and I don't like cross dressing, and I don't like hardcore bear porn. I am just me.

So maybe I am not a label? Maybe I am not gay or straight or bi? Maybe I am just different or unique, or special? Maybe I am in between? Maybe people label me so that they can feel better about themselves when trying to compare you to me? And maybe it is all because of who I am people want to label me so that they can sleep at night and know they are better then I am? Maybe.

The sum of this whole equation is this: just because I might be different doesn't necessarily mean I am wrong or worse off or better off or bad. I might be "gay" but I like a lot of things that aren't "gay." It really is true - you can't judge a book by its cover - and you definately can't judge me by what you see on the surface. I am attractive but that doesn't mean I'm a slut. I'm smart but that doesn't mean I am a nerd. I'm personable but that doesn't mean I'm fake. I'm funny but that doesn't mean I'm an asshole. I am confident but that doesn't mean I am wanted. And I'm courageous and adventureous but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I am what I am - so why are you trying to figure out what I am? And then what is the point?

Bri

Got to show some respect!

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 21:56:28 GMT

Bri