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| Registered Medical PractitionerAre you proud? Are you proud that you've survived? Are you proud of the doctor you've become? Are you happy with where you are heading? where you are today? As I look back at the turmoil that started all the way back around 12/2006 when the first wave of panic struck before the MBBS finals, I am amazed that time has flown by so quickly and it seems that our wings are growing more steady and stronger little by little. No. I am not proud of the doctor that I have become. I have become a cynic. Doctors do not heal people. Sure we can try to prolong life, or alleviate sickness, but in the end, sometimes, I feel like we are treating numbers and dismissing symptoms, and trying to screen out major health problems rather than being able to help each and every patient individually. Yes, and it saddens me that I get annoyed with unbearable patients just like the doctor next door. That I'm not any more "special" or "patient"...that I am just the typical, overworked, doctor who really can't do much for you. I need to heal. Will I heal? Relief and happiness are what I feel after my internship experience. Relief that I will (hopefully) no longer be bothered with mindless minutiae, that I don't have to stare at a computer all day and feel like a clinical secretary, and that we are no longer the "house-slaves." I am thankful that overall I have had a great internship experience and that I haven't really had to "suffer" as some of my friends out there who.... really... wow... the worse off you are -- the happier you must be now!!! So in fact, I'm sad to leave Q'Ortho since it was a place where I think I finally felt like a doctor and started feeling semi-competent. And as I look at the new batch of interns, I realise the truth of those words you spoke last year when you said, "yeah, do Paeds early on, when you're still keen."...because honestly, by the 3-4th rotation, you really don't give much of a crap about learning as much as you do about getting off work and having a life outside of work!! I am heading to FM - not somewhere I thought I would be last year when I started, but I am thankful that after all the door opening and door shutting and sun-roof opening again, God's put me on a path that lets me have a 3 month break after this year of yuckiness --- and I can still have time to ponder and decide what I want to do. And I am thankful that you brought me to the briefing and I found a bunch of people who seem to be living the ideals that I want to live...so I hope to discover that I can feel like the kind of doctor that I want to be, again. July 1st, 2008. Resident Year 1 Good luck to y'all as you start your training. | | |
| Week 1- Week 8I can't believe I've only worked for 8 weeks.
And I already wish that I didn't have to work.
I notice the sun doesn't rise with me anymore. It's only going to
get harder and harder to wake up. sigh. I am so affected by the
weather, if it's dark and gloomy outside, my mood is more dreary than
if it were bright and sunny outside.
Update on Week 1 - Week 8 of Internship
--------------------------------------------
Who: House Officer, Paediatrics
What: General Paeds wk 1-6, Hematology/Oncology/Immunology wk7-8
When: 8am-7pm 6 days/week plus 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 day calls
Where: where else?
Why:
- cuz I like medicine, cuz I like kids
- WHY?!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!???????? Honestly, I should just open up a nursery/kindergarten....
Summary:
I like Paediatrics, I like poking kids with needles, I don't mind
crying kids, sick kids are still cute, kids/babies don't smell bad but
they still have scabies
But nevertheless it's hard to stomach the fact that these kids/babies
will die within 2-3 years, that they are sick and bed-bound, that they
can't be out and about playing. But honestly, I think sometimes,
kids are braver than adults. They still manage to play. I guess it's
the obliviousness to their mortality? I definitely like general
paeds more.
Mood:
Fluctuates. Sometimes I feel like I'm treating my superiors more
than the patient. So ultimately I have to remind myself that the only
boss I have to answer to is the Big Boss. That humility is
important and so is wisdom. And that there will sometimes be
disgruntled people or annoying people that you just have to
stomach. And then there are those times when you work with people
who are a pleasure to work with. And it's nice to hear kind
sincere words of thanks and appreciation that can make your day. And
the thing I love about Peds is despite having a bad day, the kids are
still there to cheer you up and to play with you. :) hahah. that's
selfish of me but hey, it's my therapy. But I'm thankful for the
teachers I've come across already.
I wonder, are there miracles happening around me that I haven't even
noticed? Right now it seems dreary. "That child has a 80% chance
of survival." "This one would have 6-9 months of life left if we
did nothing, he'll probably be dead within 5 years anyways though." But
it's not like I can really expect them to rise from their beds, pick up
their beds, and start walking? Can I?
On a brighter note: General Paeds during Week 1 - 6 was eods of fun.
MO's were fun to work with, soooo helpful and as an intern, I had no
real responsibilities...which may lead to my downfall when I head to
the General Adult wards later on as I'll have NO IDEA how to manage
ANYTHING...hmm.apart from headaches and itchiness. hahaha. Panaol and
Piriton anyone? Did fun stuff like admit patients, take blood,
...very fam-med stuff that I liked doing.
Still.... a bit unsure.
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| Greetings From VancouverHi guys, I know I haven't updated much, and it's mostly because I've been too caught up with Facebook, and also ... there hadn't been much to write after the whole "OMG, I passed my finals bit." Seems like most of my classmates are done with their electives and going onto their small voyages across the globe..while I'm still in Vancouver - the city I've been stuck in since April. hahaha. Well, not exactly stuck, since technically I could fly off to NYC or London, but... it's not fun to visit working friends, so I've decided to stay put and enjoy the beautiful scenery and sights and sounds of my beloved Vnancouver. If only you could smell the air. It's crisp, cool, glacial fresh air. AWESOME-ness. "AWESOME" is my new "it" word. Canadians are funny, they say things like "Awwww-some. FAAAAAntastic, FOr Sure, and of course, the ubiquitous Eh!? "... I'm in the mode, baby.
I have done almost 2 weeks of anesthesiology at Vancouver General Hospital and this specialty, at least how it's run here has really grown on me. I love how I can get off at 4pm everyday.. i love the minimal but existent patient contact, the physiology behind the drugs and vital signs, and the "internal medicine" of it. It seems a far cry from the anesthesiology experience I've heard from HK docs.. ie. frequent calls, boredom, and no respect from surgeons. They are friends will all the OR nurses and assistants, they work with the surgeons and joke with them, they are overall a very satisfied bunch of doctors. So they tell me. They are one of the more "competitive" specialities in Canada and I guess, I can see why. I am also amazed by how kind and humble and courteous even the most "senior" doctors are. They don't talk down to you, to the nurse, or to anybody. I have seen excellent bedside manners here and I've learnt a lot from them, because they don't PIMP, they TEACH which is why, I think I've gained quite a lot even in these two weeks.
My first week here was kind of boring. I was still getting acquainted with the OT, the machines, and just learning how to chart the anesthetic record. But this week has been a blast, I have been given the opportunity to put in everything - spinals, arterial lines, cvp's, endotracheal tubes. I'm not really succeeding..but it's still fun and interesting. But..waking up at 6am is still a bit of a chore :)
I will be back to HK early June. See you guys soon!
Sue - I don't think you need to send me stuff. I have FA.and I'll sign up for UW probably... but..i still haven't started. I'm thinking I might need to postpone..which is actually an impossibility..so I better start cracking. Aaaaah. I wonder - how long do you think one would take to go through FA once???
Happy travelling to M07'ers.
See HK'ers soon! | | |
| "Classmates" --> "Colleagues"Thank God. You know what happened.
Congratulations to all of you out there who dreaded / sweated / and screamed with me.
Congrats to the rest of M07 who didn't dread / sweat / or scream. :)
All aboard! Have fun overseas or in HK doing your SSMs.
Don't feel left behind. Focus and pass the exam in June!
H'42 - since I can't leave you messages on your xanga, I'll especially thank you guys for missing me. Is our lil study group celebrating. Treat them to a round of drinks for me. hahaha :) | | |
| YouTube (HK)Hi guys, my cousin is an IT person and he's interested in doing some research.
"we are interested to visit them! Basically, we just want to
understand how college students edit and share videos/pictures online
and what they think of animation in general. Ideally, we would like to
visit the student's home since we want to study his/her normal routine. It
will take 1 - 1.5 hours. Participants will receive a HK$200 HMV coupon.
Please see if they are interested. We just need 2-3 people"
Please let me know if you're interested. But you have to be in HK. I think visiting hall is also possible. | | |
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