Me, My Goals, and My Progress

I'm 21 Ht: 5'5.5 HW:165 (yeowza) LW: was 118 now CW! GW: 105-110 . . . . . . . . . . P.S. Everyone, help your self to the thinspo! I think it is sooooo stupid how everyone hogs, namestamps and locks the thinspo that THEY stole from someone else's site (i.e. Myspace,Facebook,Photobucket,whatev!) and just thinks that its theirs cuz they found it...THAT. IS. SO. LAME! Unless its YOU in the pic, get over it. for real. RIGHT-CLICK ON GIRLS! . . . . . . . . . .

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Friday, June 13, 2008

  • My Disgrace

    I am a failure.
    An utter disgrace.
    I can't tell you how incredibly disgusted, disappointed and ashamed of myself I am.
    My last post was forever ago, I was about 20lbs lighter and almost ready for summer.
    Today, I haven't got on the scale in a week and the last I checked it said 1-3-1....
    I couldn't even bear to come to xanga and type those numbers
    For the last two fucking months I have been asking myself why...
    Why the fuck I let my self go
    As I ask, I stuff another slice of pizza in or down another muffin...
    Every minute knowing that I am going to regret it in the morning and promising that will start tomorrow.
    Tomorrow has not happened for me yet..
    Today is my first 2nd day
    I have been afraid to come on xanga because it is like facing reality and actually realizing what I have done.
    Today I am came and did not need to look at more than one site of thinspo before I decided I couldn't handle it anymore.
    I have let all my hope and dreams for the summer go out the window...more like I, myself threw them out with every fucking bite.
    It is fucking June and I still have not been to the beach with friends and I haven't gone to my boyfriends pool all because I am a fucking cow.
    I hate myself even more every time I have to come up with an excuse why I can't go when they ask...
    Oh, and when I weighed 116, I bought myself $600 in A&F and hollister clothes in 0's and XS that I knew I would make look good on me with another 2-3 weeks of good work...now I look at them in my closet and cry. I cant even get them on anymore.
    Again I ask, why...
    Why did I ruin my whole summer?!?!?!?!?!?! now the rest of the summer is going to be trying to lose instead of reaping the benefits of all my work this past winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Why did I let myself binge for so long?
    Why didn't I just stop???
    Why AM I SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am so ashamed.
    This is my confession.




    XO

Monday, April 21, 2008

  • Happy New Week! 122lbs

    Cleanse!

    Day 1...3glasses orange juice

    Day 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10....Lemonade

    (60oz water; 12tbls Organic grade B mayple syrup; Juice from 3 lemons; Cayenne pepper to taste)

    Day 11 12 13 14 15...Raw fruits, Veggies, and Soup

    mondaymondaymonday...boooooooooooo. No one likes mondays but this week is going to be loooong, hard but  good because I just finished my 3rd 8pg paper and tomorrow i am going to do my 4th and LAST paper!!!!!! THANK YOU GAWD! grrrr-but i still got like 3 more extra credit  that i have to do cuz i bombed the midterm in 2 of my classes and then another long exercise JUST THIS WEEK! i told you i am drowning in work! butbutbut this week is going to be good cuz i am starting my cleanse today YEY! and after this week i am done with turning in work and i just have to study for only two test and that is ittttt! School is done!!! so this is my last week of hard work then cake! ya so this weekend was horrible food wise, saturday was eh. I ate too much and sunday was just, wow, A LOT of crap. it was 420 so me and justin just kidda let go of our diets and ate junk. but i am definately back on track and i am fully motivated to do this cleanse right.

    so update on Friday's points

    intake...-5pts~outtake...6pts~water...4pts~sleep...6pts~thinking positive...3pts Total: 14pts

    saturday

    intake...-5pts~outtake...6pts~water...3pts~sleep...6pts~thinking positive...3pts Total: 13pts

    Sunday

    Intake...-5pts~outtake...-5pts~water...3pts~sleep...6pts~thinking postive...3pts~Weighin late...-3 Total: -1pts

    ugh, i am such a disgrace to this challenge lately! i really feel horrible and the next two weeks will be perfect i swear to myself and my pink team!

    SO i have to look forward, today...

    Intake:

    3-8oz glasses of orange juice...

    [x]

    [x]

    []

    Outake:

    30min elliptical

    []

    30min stretch/extra abs,arms,thighs

    []

    Total Points for the Day...

    Intake...()Outake...()Water...()Sleep...(6pts)Update...(3pts)Support team...(3pts)Positive...(3)Vitamen...()Thinspo...(2pts)

    Total...[]

    Thinspo

    z67090597

    She is so hot!

     (i am saving up for a boob job now so hopefully during christmas break...?  ) 

    XOXO

Friday, April 18, 2008

  • i ll be back

      ok so everyone knows that i have been going out of my mind with school and now i am slipping on my diet plans! Well this calls for a major adjustment to get me back on track and that is going to be a MASTER CLEANSE!! starting monday i am going to do a 2 week master cleanse (curtesy to silly_rabbitx for the inspiration!!!)

    The only hang up that i am going to run into is my DADDY is coming in town! he is a trucker and i see him like 4 or 5 times a year haha sounds crazy but we are so much a like that now that he is gone most of the time we have a better relationship. Before just being around each other for more than a day and we would be at each others throat!! haha anyway he is really health contious so i think i can convince him to lay off me about going out to eat which he loves to do when he comes in town....that is really going to be hard but i think i can do it...

    I just think that it is a perfect time to do this because i want to get to my goals THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!! i am so over being at this weight!!!!!!! so, i am doing it. I would LOVELOVELOVE someone to do it with so if ur interested just comment!

    This is what i am doing... THANKS silly_rabbitx!

    Day 1 (monday): 3 glasses orange juice and laxative tea.

    Day 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10:
    lemonade drink (60 oz water, 12 tbsp organic grade b maple syrup, juice from 3 fresh lemons, cayenne pepper to taste). laxative tea.

    Day 11 12 13 14 15:

    raw fruits, veggies and soup

    I am also still going to be working out as much as i can everyday if possible, school is just making working ot at 11 or 12 at night haaaard cuz i am so tired by the end of the day.

     I am going to stick to this, i have too. just have to and i know that i will be so much happier in two weeks! but this weekend i am taking a short break. i finally have this weekend to myself and next week i have to right 2 8-10pg papers along with some extra credit and another exercise which is a 2pg paper! So i need a breather from everything and i will be back on monday, ready to be positive for my cleanse and to make some big points in the challenge!

    And again if anyone is up to doing this cleanse with me, go shopping and be ready monday!!


     Thinspo
    z111598885

    After this cleanse i want my 0 jeans to fit like this! then i will let myself go SHOPPING!

    XOXO

Thursday, April 17, 2008

  • 120.8

    sorry for not updating yesterday, i am drowning in school work right now and i can barely get a workout in, let alone update here but i am trying my best...

    diet is not going so well, i am doing good in the day and fucking it up at night...but the odd thing is, i am still losing! like yesterday i was 118.6! and last night at like 12 oclock when i finally got to chill, i ended up binging on effin wendys so that is the cause for the weight gain. But for real i want this baad and there is only TWO more weeks of school!! aaaahhhh the countdown begins thank gawd!!! so i want to get back to stickin to everything. sorry this is quick but wanna check in with all you lovelies before i get to work on more work for class tonight....

    yesterday update...

    Intake...-5pts~outtake...6pts~Water...4pts~Sleep...5pts~eat after 8...-3pts

    total: 7pts

    Today's point will be updated tonight....

    Intake...-5pts~outtake...6pts~Water...4pts~Sleep...5pts~eat after 8...-3pts

    Total: 7pts again

    sorry so short but gotta go, promise i would rather spend all day here, juss refreshing my home page....but my teachers are determined to ruin my life.

    Thinspo

    b140795876

    For real, girls...i dont even have freaking time to tan!!! I feel soooo pale!!

    XOXO

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

  • stilllllllll 122!

     so didnt workout yesterday so this serves me right..to not lose. but i am soooo irritated about something else....ok so this really pretty blonde girl is married to one of my guy friends and she got prego and then after the baby she lost all her baby weight and more....i haven't seen her in like 4 months and justin did at a b-day party for the guy 2 weeks ago (that i didnt go to) anyway, what is pissing me off is that justin keeps saying how "Tiiiiiiiiiny" she is now!!! like when i saw her yeah she was small and looked great but what the fuckkk? i am a freakin zero!!! okok, not by my standards cuz they are still tight but nothing else fits...122 is binge weight, so i was 116.0 three days ago what more does he effin want???? i mean i knowwww i still have a little more to go but that is just it... a LITTLE and he keeps going on and on about how TIIIIIIINY she is (and he says it just like that too, "tiiiiiiiiiiny"...sick) i finally broke yesterday (i was trying to act like it didnt bug me buut..) after two freakin weeks of she sooo tiiiiiiny i was about to smack em! and he said that it was because she use to be 'thick' in high school so that is why it is such a big deal (er..ok maybe thats true)...but i saw her not to long ago so how much smaller is sheeee? its killing me i finally asked the lame-o question.."is she smaller than me?" and he said no, no blahbliddyblah but he would tell me anything. so i am dieing to see her so i kno for sure!! but let me tell yall, this is the MOST motivation i could ask for to get to 105 ASAP!! before i see her next...i show everyone just WHO is so effing tiny dammit!

    Intake: (update later <300c)...8pts

    Elliptical...burn 300c...10pts

    1.5 workout/stretch...~200c (rounding low)

    Extras

    Water...5pts~Sleep...6pts~update...3pts~support team...3pts~thinking positive...3pts~thinspo...2pts)

    total: 37pts

    Thinspo!

    z86456626

    Gawd..she is so perfect.

Gl4m0ur5h4d35

  • Visit Gl4m0ur5h4d35's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jessica
    • Birthday: 9/6/1986
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 2/3/2008
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About Me

  • Cant wait till summer n I am determined to look HOT! I am 21 and my stats are HT:5'5 HW:165 yeow-za! LW: was 118 now CW! CW: check the ticker it is always updated... This journal is to keep track of my progress and the real girl thinspo that I like...I update regularly (as much as I can anway...) Please comment and subscribe!

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Chatboard (1)

  • diana237
    hey, sorry i took soooo long to reply but thanx for that i need it i haven't cheated on my lil fast yet soo yep i will stay strong..ANA FOREVER