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Gleeleaf
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Name: Rowan
Birthday: 10/25/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: God is my greatest interest and I love His Word. Secondly, I'm interested in Joey. ^_^ Besides God, he's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Then comes the rest of my friends and family, and after all of that there's the surface stuff like Lord of the Rings; Star Wars; Harry Potter; Chronicles of Narnia; Marvel comics, cartoons, & movies; Martial arts (Arnis and Kenpo); Film-making; Computer graphics; photography; drawing and any other kind of art (check out all my artwork under photos); great fantasy or sci-fi novels, and great action, fantasy, sci-fi, or mystery films ... sometimes romance :-P; comic books; writing my own novels, short stories, etc.; singing, thinking, camping, and hiking; lakes, rivers, woods, mountains, RAIN!, and generally anything in Nature.
Expertise: Anything God wants me to do, He will give me the power to accomplish
Occupation: Child of God
Industry: Soul Reaching
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  gleeleaf
MSN: balance_incarnate@yahoo.com
Yahoo:  balance_incarnate
Member Since:
11/9/2004
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| About a month ago or more, I had a whole update in my mind. I was going to tell you all about how wonderful my life is turning out and I was going to describe in detail all the great circumstances and people that God has blessed me with.
Now a very huge part of that life that I was going to describe is missing, and that entry would look quite a bit different, if I were to insist upon writing it still, even though I really don't feel like doing so anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I am still happier than I can really remember being since I was young, innocent, and naive. There's something about being young, innocent, and naive, that makes you unable to help being happy also, since there is no responsibility or cares ...
But that's beyond the point. I'm happy. Very happy. And incredibly blessed and still very grateful, even for that thing which is now missing. At least I had it while I had it.
And yet, like I said, I don't feel like writing that entry anymore. I guess huge gaping holes left in the life one once treasured so dearly can somewhat overshadow one's desire to celebrate the rest of that life, even if it doesn't make the rest of that life seem any less precious.
I just miss him a lot. I'll probably always miss him a lot, unless things work out differently than they appear to be working out right now.
At least I'll always have Joey. Or maybe that's at most. : )
Sometimes love feels like pain
And sometimes I wonder if its all the same
Sometimes light feels just like rain
Cause you never know when its gonna fall down on you
I wish you well
I wish you well
On this trip to find yourself
I wish you well
Wish I could help
But I can't help you find yourself
Sometimes faith feels like doubt
And sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get out
Sometimes life hurts just like now
But you gotta now its all gonna come back around
I wish you well
I wish you well
On this trip to find yourself
I wish you well
Wish I could help
But I can't help you find yourself
And we were 16 at the time
Nothing could ever change our minds
We were one step below invincible
And we always fought it
You've never been the same
You were so scared to make a name
Then you threw it all away
And I wish you'd come back now
I wish you well
I wish you well
On this trip to find yourself
I wish you well
Wish I could help
But I can't help you find yourself
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| Guess what? I have a steady job! I'm working at Appletree Christian Learning Center with my Mom and Cynthia, for any of you who hadn't heard yet ... but probably you all have. Oh well. It's been fun. I got to teach lead for two days (yesterday and today) because my new lead teacher was out of town. She'll be back tomorrow though, thank goodness.
lol. I just cut the roof of my mouth with a chip. Seriously - it's bleeding. Friggen shard of Pringle.
My Dad and Mom are in Brazil and will be there for, roughly, the next three weeks. They left early Monday morning. The house is so empty and quiet, and Cynthia and I feel really independent and alone lol. The cats are acting really attention deprived. They don't want to leave us alone when we're home.
It's a good thing I got my license before our parents left. It's useful.
I'm teaching my dad's Monday night Arnis class for him while he's gone. It's such an incredibly weird experience/feeling to be teaching a bunch of adult black belts who probably know more than I do - just not in Arnis. But they all told me I did a great job last night ... They might be lying, of course, as is always possible lol. I've got to teach next week again, then the next week is Memorial Day so class is off, and then Dad will be home. *Phwew*
Pringles and blood is an interesting combination.
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| If No News is good news, then what is News?I have news.
No, I haven't had time to draw recently. I hope to soon, but that is not the news. That is old news.
The news is, I have had a job interview and will most likely be working, following Lewis lady traditions, at the good daycare establishment of Appletree. Don't know when. They're still going to set up a working interview for me, and we'll see from there.
In more news, my drivers test is scheduled for the 26th of this month, so please be praying for me, if you remember. I've been practicing all the little things that people tell me are important to the test, but I'm not entirely confident what with the overwhelming-ness of it all.
Besides those two, I have been feeling lately like I'm standing on the brink of something enormous. Like a small child facing the insurmountable walls of an awesome (in the old sense of the word, meaning "awe inspiring") fortress, but being so close to the wall and refusing to look up, being therefore unaware of exactly what stands before her. I don't know what's about to happen, but it feels really big. Maybe it's nothing, and it probably is.
That is my news.
I am supposed to take off my glasses when I read, since my eyes are "natural reading glasses" according to the eye doctor. The problem with taking off my glasses is that I find it very difficult to spot them without their help, so I loose track of them often after reading, especially when I am burying myself so wholeheartedly into a book that has the power to completely overwhelm me, as I have been doing for the past few days. So, would any of you be kind enough to inform me if you see my glasses anywhere? I cannot spot them. I am blind.
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| Wearing Black on Valentine's DayHey everybody. Long time no post ... but I've got a bunch of random thoughts on my mind that I thought I'd share.
First of all, if you're wondering why I'm wearing black on Valentine's Day, it's because I'm going to a funeral. Grandpa Lovell passed away on Sunday. I'd never seen someone die before. Yes, I was there for the whole thing, with Joey and a six or so of the uncles and aunts (Grandpa's kids and kid-in-laws). It felt ... actually it felt really awesome. Like a gust of cool refreshing air flit through the room in a split second and then was gone. He was there ... and then he was in eternity. And then there was the beautiful sorrow from Grandma and all the others ... I was really happy to be there and be a part of it, even if I was kind of out of place. Joey said it was kind of like my inaugeration into the family though, cuz after that there's no way they can pretend I'm really not a part of them lol.
Second, something I realized a little while ago. You know how, as Christians, we're commanded to give that first tenth of our income - the firstfruits of our labor - to God, to show Him that we put Him above our physical gain and for Him to bless us and multiply the rest of our money? It's the same exact way with our time. I didn't realize it as much until I had stopped doing my daily devotions for about a week because I "got busy" and then I started up again. When you give that fifteen minutes, half hour, or whatever you want to give of your time to God, taking it out of your day and saying, "God, you're more important to me than whatever else I could be doing with this time," He blesses the rest of your day ... and almost multiplies it! I get so much more done when I sacrifice that little bit of time first and foremost. In fact, the more time I spend with God, the more time it seems like I have to do everything else I need to do. My thoughts are so much more organized and clear and I'm a lot happier and more uplifting. So, don't forget to Time Tithe. It really helps.
You know, girls' pant sizes never make any sense. Every brand does them differently, and they're just numbers with no real meaning. They're not measuring width or length, they're just numbers. It's so confusing. I have size 2 pants and size 9 pants, and they both fit me pretty much the same. In fact, the 2's are quite a lot longer. Does that make sense to you?
I've been learning a lot about trust lately. In any relationship you're in, whether it's with your parents, siblings, cousins, friends, spouses, or anything else, trust is very, very important. If you don't trust the other person, your relationship with them means nothing. It's not just whether you trust them to keep your secrets or you trust them to help you when you need it, it's also whether you trust them to always be open and honest with you and trust them to always love you.
If someone you love says something to you or does something to you that seems kind of mean in your opinion, you have to trust in their love for you and believe that whatever it was, even if it seemed unfeeling and cruel, wasn't meant to hurt you. You have to trust that they would never INTEND to hurt you, so whatever they say or do that seems hurtful was not meant that way at all.
When you ask someone a question, like "Is something wrong," you have to trust that they're going to tell you the truth. If they say, "No," and you don't believe them, that's not trust. Sure, they may break your trust sometimes, but you just keep trusting, because the more you trust them, the more they'll be inclined to deserve it. People always say that trust must be earned, and sure, in a way that is true. But before trust can be earned, it has to be given. Just like it is when parents want to see if their child is responsible. First they have to trust them enough to give them a little responsibility, and then if they see that their child is responsible in that little thing (the child has actually earned the trust they already gave him), they give him more responsibility and see if he can earn the trust there too.
And you have to trust that they will do the right thing. If you love someone, you have to think the best of them, you have to give them the benefit of the doubt, you have to allow them plenty of room to hurt you (and take that hurt and forgive it if it comes), and you have to keep believing in them, no matter how many times they get it wrong. People are NOT going to change unless you EXPECT them to. I know this from my own experience - I didn't change until people told me that they knew I could. Until they had confidence in me and they TRUSTED me.
Sorry for the long post, folks. Here are some lyrics that I've been enjoying a lot lately, and then I'm done. :)
Must Have Done Something Right by Relient K:
We should get jerseys
Cuz we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine
Cuz you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliché
To tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
And everyone watching us
Just turns away with disgust
It's jealousy: they can see that we've got it going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know that you're more to me than what I know how to say
You're okay with the way that this is going to be
Cuz this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen
If anyone could make me a better person, you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
Came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right.
Well, maybe I'm just lucky
Cuz it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd
End up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliché
To talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious
To everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know that you're more to me than what I know how to say
You're okay with the way that this is going to be
Cuz this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen
If anyone could make me a better person, you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
Came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right.
Happy Valentines Day!!! I love you forever and ever and ever, Joey!
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| I have new art again!!!I finally sat down and took the two or three hours necessary to coax my poor old scanner to work for me. And so, I got to scan three new drawings of mine! Please tell me what you think.
The Pink Panther
Eyes
Choice
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