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| I have come to a realization as I sit here on a Saturday evening.
My life is boring. Either that or I am boring. One of those
has to be true.
Here I sit on a Saturday night and really have no desire to do
anything. Or call anyone. Or get up from this couch.
It's been a funk that I have been in for the past 2 or 3 weeks.
I seem to have these every once in a while. I don't know what
starts it but it seems like during these times I just want to be alone
every chance I can get. That can't be healthy.
I just makes me realize that leaving this summer seem like such a good
idea. It would get me away from this for a bit and hit "reset" on
my life. Each day it looks better and better.
I just want to feel God. See Him for who He really is. See
how He loves me. How He loves others. Feel Him smiling down on
me. That is all I desire.
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| So last night I laid awake in bed for awhile just thinking about
God. Just asking Him over and over to show me His love. I
have just felt really lonely as of late and really needed to feel
Him. I just laid there waiting for something, anything to come
from him. And do you know what I felt more then anything
else. I need to start clean. I need to start a brand new
life. Not that I need to leave here and leave my friends.
But that I need to get rid of all the crap in my life. Strip down
to the basics. Get rid of all the noise!
I am still trying to figure out what that means for me. I was
thinking about it all day at work today. Does that mean get rid
of everything I have that is material? Does that mean I just need
to get rid of the stuff that steers me away from God? Does that
mean something else?
I really want to get to the bottom of this. I want to be mindful
of what God wants for me. I need to spend some more time
with God talking this over. This would be a big step for
me. I feel like the rich man in the Bible that Jesus tells to
sell all his possesions and give away his money. I don't want
something like a TV getting in between me and God.
I just want to feel loved by my creator. Everything else will fall into to place in the backgroud.
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| Ok, so this is my
first xanga post. I am all nervous. What if I screw it
up? I don't know if I could live with myself. Well here
goes nothing.
So here I sit at the computer with really nothing on my mind.
Just starting this page for all my friends to come to and laugh at the
funny things I say and do. I don't expect it to be a prize
winner, just something for me to do when I am bored. Isn't that
what blogs are all about??
Well don't want to take up to much space today. Gotta save it for the good stuff.
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