| Me and him are over can't complain tho. I saw him at school, suprisingly he waved. I didnt know what to say so i ketped walking. He thought i didnt want to talk where the true to the matter is...i just didnt know what to say, i was speechless, never once have i had a semi-good brake up. Its werid. I guess all i need is closure and the only way im gonna get that is by being nice and happy while im around him. not mooping and frowning when he looks at me, and thats what i did! i was smiling all day up-beat, and well not paying attention in class but i did ask question! He's called quite a bit. i came home from nicks house and went downstaris to do laundary... to clear my mind...when i see 648....its him, 8:51 it said.... I check the upstairs caller ID...all numbers where erased, i think my dad doesnt want me talking to him. he knows all we usally do is fight. i look at the caller ID in the basement again....9:07.....9:17....10:16....should i call?or wait it out to see what happens tomorrow? I'll wait it out, my 1st instint would usally be call.But thats never worked before. So ill wait and wait. til its 6:45 and im waiting to go to skool and see him after 3rd hour.. not to talk but glance: D then ill be dissapionted or something. then ill wait til 6th hour...to see him in front of my class, glance, walk.... Tomorrow should be fun |
| |
| wow this is wonderful i like writing in this now no ones watching...maybe someone is but i doubt it. I love drinking okay? and i wish i didnt and i never noticed how depressed i get when im not around it. i never noticed how easy it is to be numb. and to not think straight when times get rough. he only shitty part is becoming 10times more depressed afterwards. I would also like to admitt one other thing im in love with darwin james nichols. we have been together for 6months and ive loved it. ive been temped to go with other boys but i havent. and its werid i dont think im going to have a serious relationship after me and him. its so hard to become so comfortable with a person to a piont were you shower then go to their house in pj's with no make up. I can sleep so well at darwins house to. i love it. whenever i i dont get enough sleep i ask to come over. i doubt he knows that fact but i love going in there. I love the smell of his house. Jennas so laid back. Dustin can be so hilarious. And his mom...not words can explain her. etheir all so nice to me when they dont have to be, why are people so nice to me. Darwin doesnt know this but i look up to him so much, he knows so much and hes so well put together. Im pretty sure he knows excatly who he wants to be in life and he knows what he will be doing after highskool.i dont think i ever going to forget him whoever reads this dont pass it on some people dont think me and darwin should be together, or that "we have been together to long".....what am i going to do when hes gone? |
| |
| I havent wrote in this in forever and i thought i would
i hate some things like for one thing weed. yes i fuckin have smoked it and i seem like im being a lame ass about this shit but we you feel like your losing friends from it. it sucks and all i want is for all of us girl to be innencent again no drinking no getting nakie or drugs. But then our lifes would be boring. Or whatever i just want to be something when i get older i wanna be a role model and i want me friends to be role models too. I want to laugh with out there being durgs involed.
But if theres no drugs we wont have a reason to rebel againest our parents...and then we wouldnt be out of the ordinary and then we couldnt bond as well i just wanna be straight again and in a bad/werid way i want to get to such a low piont in my life until in the end all i have is my self.....myself and mistakes that ive made and also until i realize im not going anywhere
i know im not going anywhereby doing that shit but hey i havent got struck by ,ighting yet you know and all i want it for someone when im at a real low piont in my life to just sit next to me with a smile on their face and they say " remeber those times when we were young and stupid"
I just want something simple. |
| |
| The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway?
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away. |
| |
