I was walking back home tonight, hot and humid, which I don't mind really. And again, there I was dreaming. Ever since I was a child I would dream. Tonight while dreaming, I told myself, stop dreaming Rory. Then I realized, never stop dreaming.

" DREAM, DREAM, DREAM, DREAM, DREAM, RETURN, RETURN, RETURN, RETURN, RETURN " - Sunspot Jonz

I believe in dreams, and in this life I can tell you dreams do come true. Never be afraid to dream... As I was jogging up the flight of stairs on my way home I saw a very old African woman walking. She was actually adorable, so sweet and fragile walking with her umbrella as a cane. There was something special about her that reminded me how special life is.

I remember someone once told me, that the most amazing things can enter your life at any moment. It's true. It's beautiful... Like Pac once said, "Now I know the answer do dreams come true, staring at the world through my rearview". And he was only 25 before he left our world. If you don't dream then how will they ever come true?

Love. Rory.

I was walking home tonight. It was raining lightly, and I had the little blue umbrella that Areli gave to me in Bangalore before she departed. I began to open the umbrella, and then realized, what is life without walking in the rain.

I'm reading "The Old Ways" by Gary Snyder (a wonderful writer who lived and worked around those characters known as the Beats). It's a very interesting book, in the second essay, "The Politics of Ethnopoetics", Snyder writes about the reduction of diversity both in humanity and ecology. Anyone who has travelled cross-continental can realize how human culture is gradually becoming a techno-mono-culture. I find myself wavering between an appreciation of the natural world, and being simultaneously concerned with my place in our social-political world.

"The New Ways" are the ways that most of us are taking on. There are no more isolated cultures or peoples remaining on our planet. When I read about the indigenous peoples of South America my soul is stirred and moved in powerful ways. "Yage Letters" by Williams Burroughs creates this mood through the vivid imagery of his travels in Peru, searching for the ultimate "kick" via yage vine. Burroughs writes from the perspective of a liberal, open-minded, drug-induced eccentric who is grounded in his own identity as a American, homosexual, white male. His writing creates a certain mood of nostalgia for such exploration of naturality and our own diverse existence within it.

What I think is important is to embrace the path of the Yogin. I don't mean that we should follow esoteric rites and reduce our physical being to a painful asceticism. But, the root word of yoga/yogin is "yug" related to the English word "yoke". Yoke should be taken as a verb, as an action. Snyder writes, "The yogin is an experimenter. He experiments on himself". So whereas the anthropologist or adventurer experiments or drawls conclusions through their subject-object relationship, for the yogin, truth, final reality, or conclusions, are drawn from one's specific exercises or disciplines.

For those of us that are fortunate to have individuality in these modern times we are graced with a certain glorious freedom. When I read "Basic Freud", by Michael Kahn (a modern look at psychoanalytic thought) I was deeply inspired by how Sigmund Freud systematically managed his mornings to study various areas of academia and in this sense Freud possessed the discipline of the yogin. I think that technology, shopping outlets, and the ability to travel without much physical work has transformed so many people into observers as different from active experiencers experiencing.

The world has becoming something of a show, rather than a an elaborate drama as the Hindu view of the world would suggest. In reference to Zen training Snyder writes, "It's not for show. It's open to everyone who wishes to participate but it's not for show. That is the sense that insiders have in their own culture as members".

The yogin participates, the mindful traveller as distinct from the tourist participates. Basically it's important that we try to be conscious of the ways in which we participate, and that we actually actively strive to participate. So much of our final reality comes from study, but there is a great beauty in actually living it. Such beauty encourages me to travel, learn foreign languages, and to wander around and get on the underground. ground. ground. ground. ground. ground.

My message is simply craft your specific exercises and disciplines. Kindle them with heart and soul, and let them unfold...

Breeze... I love you.

I want to thank everyone who has supported me in my time of need.

There are so many of you who have supported me directly or indirectly. Some of you did so by just being you. I want to thank you for the inspiration. I'm looking towards the future: new people, new places, new experiences and the revival of the old.

There's nothing left for me in Israel, so I won't go back. I may never of travelled there if it's wasn't for bamba girl. It was beautiful while it lasted, but like Jimi says, "and so castles made of sand melts into the sea eventually"

This time I can say I always did the right thing. I realize we can do the most amazing things if they make sense to us. And I realize I have so much love to give in this world.

I send my love to everybody...

I'm sitting here, very sad. Mor and I are no longer together. You know, I never cry. But I can't stop crying. It takes great courage to love, to give your heart to someone.