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xanga photos videos blogrings metros profiles   Friday, May 25, 2007 .:Trying to fly without wings:. It's been ages since I have updated this do-hicky...and I figured it's about time. Learning to Fly     Well I started out down a dirty road Started out all alone And the sun went down as I crossed the hill The town lit up the world got still I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Comin’ down is the hardest thing Well the good old days may not return And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn Well some say life will beat you down Break your heart, steal your crown So I started out for God knows where But I guess I’ll know when I get there I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Comin’ down is the hardest thing I’m learning to fly around the clouds But what goes up must come down I’m learning to fly I’m learning to fly ...   I know just how to whisper And I know just how to cry I know just where I find the answers And I know just how to lie I know just how to fake it And I know just how to scheme I know just when to face the truth And then I know just when to dream And I know just where I touch you And I know just what to prove I know when to pull you closer And I know when to let you loose And I know the night is fading And I know the time’s gonna fly And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you But I know I’ve got to give it a try And I know the roads to riches And I know the ways to pain I know all the rules and then I know how to break’em And then I always know the name of the game   I've been sittin here Tryin to find myself I get behind myself I need to rewind myself Lookin for the payback Listen for the playback They say that every man bleeds just like me And I feel like number one Yet I'm last in line I watch my baby girl And it helps to pass the time I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain I made a couple of dollar bills, but still I feel the same Everybody knows my name They say it way out loud A lot of folks fuck with me It's hard to hang out in crowds I guess that's the price you pay To be some big shot like I am Out strecthed hands and one night stands Still I can't find love And when your walls come tumbling down I will always be around Yeah As it...hey And when your walls come tumbling down I will always be around People don't know about the things I say and do They don't understand about the shit that I've been through It's been so long since I've been home I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long Maybe I forgot all things I miss Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this I said it too many times And I still stand firm You get what you put in And people get what they deserve Still I ain't seen mine No I ain't seen mine I've been giving just ain't been gettin I've been walking that there line So I think I'll keep a walking With my head held high I'll keep moving on and only God knows why   My life has turned into pure hell now...It's just what you guys wanted isn't it. You wanted me to be unhappy and miserable. You wanted to ruin my life. Well you caught me at the right time and you fucking win. Is that what you fucking wanted to hear? You've made me cry, you've gotten under my skin, you've torn me apart. And I want you to know so you can call each other and laugh about it. Because you finally win. I don't know if anything is worth fighting for anymore.... I don't know what I can believe in... I don't know who to trust... I'm giving up.. You win... *Katie*   Cambrie~ Peace. You're pain can no longer hide. And you're longing for peace. Let me see your wounds my child. I did not abandon you. And I died so you could come here. And be with me we're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak I am strong. Peace. Your pain can no longer hide. And you're longing for peace. Let me see your wounds my child. Let me give you from a stream of healing water flowing through my touch. I did not abandon you. I died so you could come here. And be with me. We're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak. I am strong. No matter how far I will find you there. Cus I wanna be with you. You know I care. Do you really love me? Come follow me. Be still. We're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak I am strong. And I'm longing for you. I will not abandon you. When you're longing for Peace. And don't let anybody tell you you are alone. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU ARE ALONE! And I will not...no....abandon you. Peace.  ~God 9:50 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it .:Trying to fly without wings:. It's been ages since I have updated this do-hicky...and I figured it's about time. Learning to Fly     Well I started out down a dirty road Started out all alone And the sun went down as I crossed the hill The town lit up the world got still I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Comin’ down is the hardest thing Well the good old days may not return And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn Well some say life will beat you down Break your heart, steal your crown So I started out for God knows where But I guess I’ll know when I get there I’m learning to fly but I ain’t got wings Comin’ down is the hardest thing I’m learning to fly around the clouds But what goes up must come down I’m learning to fly I’m learning to fly ...   I know just how to whisper And I know just how to cry I know just where I find the answers And I know just how to lie I know just how to fake it And I know just how to scheme I know just when to face the truth And then I know just when to dream And I know just where I touch you And I know just what to prove I know when to pull you closer And I know when to let you loose And I know the night is fading And I know the time’s gonna fly And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you But I know I’ve got to give it a try And I know the roads to riches And I know the ways to pain I know all the rules and then I know how to break’em And then I always know the name of the game   I've been sittin here Tryin to find myself I get behind myself I need to rewind myself Lookin for the payback Listen for the playback They say that every man bleeds just like me And I feel like number one Yet I'm last in line I watch my baby girl And it helps to pass the time I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain I made a couple of dollar bills, but still I feel the same Everybody knows my name They say it way out loud A lot of folks fuck with me It's hard to hang out in crowds I guess that's the price you pay To be some big shot like I am Out strecthed hands and one night stands Still I can't find love And when your walls come tumbling down I will always be around Yeah As it...hey And when your walls come tumbling down I will always be around People don't know about the things I say and do They don't understand about the shit that I've been through It's been so long since I've been home I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long Maybe I forgot all things I miss Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this I said it too many times And I still stand firm You get what you put in And people get what they deserve Still I ain't seen mine No I ain't seen mine I've been giving just ain't been gettin I've been walking that there line So I think I'll keep a walking With my head held high I'll keep moving on and only God knows why   My life has turned into pure hell now...It's just what you guys wanted isn't it. You wanted me to be unhappy and miserable. You wanted to ruin my life. Well you caught me at the right time and you fucking win. Is that what you fucking wanted to hear? You've made me cry, you've gotten under my skin, you've torn me apart. And I want you to know so you can call each other and laugh about it. Because you finally win. I don't know if anything is worth fighting for anymore.... I don't know what I can believe in... I don't know who to trust... You win... *Katie*   Cambrie~ Peace. You're pain can no longer hide. And you're longing for peace. Let me see your wounds my child. I did not abandon you. And I died so you could come here. And be with me we're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak I am strong. Peace. Your pain can no longer hide. And you're longing for peace. Let me see your wounds my child. Let me give you from a stream of healing water flowing through my touch. I did not abandon you. I died so you could come here. And be with me. We're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak. I am strong. No matter how far I will find you there. Cus I wanna be with you. You know I care. Do you really love me? Come follow me. Be still. We're in this together. Never alone. Now and forever. You're weak I am strong. And I'm longing for you. I will not abandon you. When you're longing for Peace. And don't let anybody tell you you are alone. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU ARE ALONE! And I will not...no....abandon you. Peace.  ~God 9:50 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, February 24, 2007 .:Without your Love:. One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The girl sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The guy pulled over and told the girl he wanted to talk. He told her that his feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down her cheek as she slowly reached into her pocket & passed him a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the girls side, killing the girl. Miraculously, the guy survived. Remembering the note, he pulled it out & read it. *Without your love,   I would die.*   I knew when I ran into this one she would be the redrum of my pimpin' Knew she would be the one to make me stop caring about other girls on my jock and gettin' them she was the one to slow me down hold me down I roll wit her know go wit it now Im'a grow wit it now I'ma go get her thas how I got her don't be mad you can't get one hotta broke them up when they made lil' momma I don't care what my friends say she been there everyday for my drama Some of the homies hate cause they want her wish they the ones thas datin' my woman gone get a good look cause she fine and I don't mind cause she mine...   I dare to dream but do I dare to love?   It's official... I have fallen for you completely and totally again...Please...handle my heart with Care...   As I wipe the tears off my cheek, and wander if you will really call...   Dis is how I feel Im in need of your love So lets dip up out of here Ooohh ya just my type Everythings so right I just wanna chill Lets dip up out of here (Lets dip up out of here)   You be talking like you like what I got I know you like it how I lean in the 'lac, You could be in the back saying...gimme, gimme, gimme   It's all Coming Back to Me Now... There were nights when the wind was so cold That my body froze in bed If I just listened to it Right outside the window There were days when the sun was so cruel That all the tears turned to dust And I just knew my eyes wereDrying up forever I finished crying in the instant that you left And I can't remember where or when or how And I banished every memory You and I had ever made There were moments of gold And there were flashes of light There were things I'd never do again But then they'd always seemed right There were nights of endless pleasure It was more than any laws allowBaby... If I kiss you like this And if you whisper like that It was lost long ago But it's all coming back to me If you want me like this And if you need me like that It was dead long ago But it's all coming back to me It's so hard to resist But it's all coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me There were those empty threats and hollow lies And whenever you tried to hurt me I just hurt you even worseAnd so much deeper There were hours that just went on for days When alone at last We'd count up all the chances That were lost to us forever But you were history with the slamming of the door And I made myself so strong again somehow And I never wasted any of my time on you since thenBut if I touch you like this And if you kiss me like that It was so long ago But it's all coming back to me If you touch me like this And if I kiss you like that It was gone with the wind But it's all coming back to me When you touch me like this And when you hold me like that It was gone with the wind But it's all coming back to me When you see me like this And when I see you like that Then we see what we want to see All coming back to me The flesh and the fantasies All coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me If you forgive me all this And I forgive you all that We forgive and forget it's all coming back to me When you see me like this And when I see you like that We see just what we want to see it's all coming back to me The flesh and the fantasies all coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me now... And when you kiss me like this... And when I touch you like that... If you do it like this... And if we...   Baby, I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, In fact you never leave my mind. My day revovls around you. When I get to see you, and get a hug or perhaps have my back popped. You see my darling you are my everything. You and me were meant to be. Can't you see that since the beginning of time we were destined to be. Ahh...But that is my greatest fear. Is that you don't see. That you will never understand how dedicated to you I really am. I turn away every guy that comes at me, waiting for you. I have turned around my world, I hopes you would see, I really do love you. I may not be the perfect girlfriend, and be screwed up in too many ways, And you may get mad at me more times then should be required in a relationship. But Baby I can offer you one thing that will never change, And that is my eternal love for you. My heart is yours, I'm trusting you. But since it is yours you can do what you will with it. And if you choose to break it, I cannot say a word. I can only pick up the pieces, And pray that someone will glue them back together. Everyone needs somebody that they can trust in, I'm somebody. So please talk to me. Tell me your secrets. Tell me your deepest desires. Take me away...I only want to be with you Please dont hurt me, Just take care of me. Get me out of here. lets runaway...   As you can tell...I'm really not okay, and I really have too much on my mind. I'm trying to deal with everything, but I am getting no where. My life = messed up...wishing I was somewhere else.  *Katie* 11:38 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Sunday, February 18, 2007 .:Runaway Love:. There's nothing left to do but get my clothes and pack... I'm about to runaway and never come back...     People say I'm not a good friend But what do they have to proove? How are they any better?   *Second Chances* You shattered my heart... You said you loved me... Maybe you proved yourself wrong... Then you dated her... The Perfect girl... I bit my tounge... Letting you two be happy... After all that is all that I wanted... For you to be happy... Even without me... Come to find out... You were lieing again... You weren't happy with her... You wanted me... The girl that's just in the crowd... Just another girl... What makes me so special? Why me?... You say you love me... But do you really? Everyone says that if you did... You would show it... Take me out... Buy me flowers... Treat me like a Queen... Not just say it, but show it... But I wander... Why all that matters... I wander... Why you chose me... Am I really the one.... Am I the center of your thoughts... Am I the reason you get out of bed... Do you really love me... Are you sure I am what you want... Will you hurt me again... Can we last that long... What is in our future... Do we have a future... Will you love me forever... Can we make it... Do WE have second chance...     Everytime we touch... I get this feeling... Everytime we kiss... I swear I can fly... Can't you feel my heart beat fast... I want this to last... I can't let you go.... Want you in my life... With out you it's hard to survive...     I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Well, every moment spent with you Is a moment I treasure I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing Lying close to you Feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together And I just wanna stay with you In this moment forever, forever and ever I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss Well, I just wanna be with you Right here with you, just like this I just wanna hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time Don't wanna close my eyes Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do 'Cause I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna miss a thing  Baby.. You know I love you....   How could you let somebody lay where I laid... How could you call her all the names you used to call me...     I'm sitting here waiting for you to get off work... Waiting for you to call me... Wandering if you are thinking about me... Wandering if You miss me as much as I do... Wandering if you are as head over heals for me as I am you... Because if you're not... Maybe it's not worth it... ALL I WANNA DO IS DANCE   ....Smack that....   What are you thinkin about...? Life and I haven't been getting along to well lately...I have been so lost...I am losing everything all at once. If you know me and talk to me, you know what I mean. Things are starting to go into place, but can you blame me for being worried about how things will turn out. I don't wanna get hurt again...It's been too hard...But I think I'm gonna take a chance...A big one...lets hope everyone get's proved wrong... *Katie*             11:19 PM - 8 eprops - 5 comments - email it Friday, September 29, 2006 Fading Well...Miss Calee mae wanted me to update so I figured I would. There's alot going on right now, but nothing worth updating on. Or maybe it is, and I'm too lazy to type the whole dang thing, oh well half of you wont read this damned entry anyway. So...hmm...where to start... Well, Todd and I broke up FOREVER YEA, FINALLY HE WAS GETTING ON MY NERVES DUMB KID...umm I have a set schedual that has no leniantcy time, so I get up go to school, then work, then home, about 3 hours of homework, and bed...oh and my husband time for awhile.  The studing pays off, with grades and all, but sometimes I wander if it's worth it...all that I miss out on. This year just isn't fun at school, I miss my friends. I always hung out with juniors and seniors, no sophmores....so I don't really know this class very well. I still talk to most of them though...The only one I talk to on a regular basis is Jeff and that's always fun. I love him.... Shout out to Jeff Jones Anyway...I just feel like giving up. The only thing that brings me joy anymore is my job. I love it sooo much, I don't even consider it working. But that's me. And isn't it sad that they are the only ones I really can talk to..cides Jeff, oh and Calee. But I'm soo close to Dropping everything, and starting over, but it's alil late. I don't like band anymore, it's just pathetic. I'm prolly not going to orlando... But none of y'all cares bout that anyway... I Just feel so numb right now...I wish I could explain, but all I can say is that right now it seems pain meens nothing to me. Just another  part of life. A part I've always delt with, makes not difference. Sooo yea...there are soo many plans with people Coughcaleecough.... but i'm just so burnt out on everything.  I'm falling...and falling  hard...ready to hit the ground and screaming at the top of my lungs and no one is there to catch me, no one even looks to save me. I'm running, fast, as fast as I can, from myself, by everyone I know, They don't even look up. I'm sliping off the edge and I'm hanging by a thread, and my friends are taking sissors to it... I'm fading away....and no one notices...bleeding...no one cares...falling...fading... So yea...I'm done with the entry thing I have nothing else to add...Hope everyone is doing good. God Bless... To you: I can't earse the things that i did................ who cares not me Me To all you who HATE me....I totally understand how you feel, I hate me too... I'm so tired I can't even sleep... Promised myself I wouldn't weep... One more promise I couldn't keep.... Someone told me love would all save us, but how can that be? Look what love gave us, a world full of killing and blood spilling...(hero) Runaway train never going back.. Wrong way on a one way track.. Seems like I should be getting somewhere.. Somehow I'm neither here nor there.... I never knew, I never knew that everyhthing was falling through, that everyone I knew was waiting on a cue to turn and run when all I needed was the truth, but that's how it's gotta be, it's coming down to nothing more than apathy, I would rather run the other way then stay and see the smoke and who's still standing when it clears...Let's rearrange, I wish you were a stranger I could disingage...(over my head) Can you help me remember how to smile? Make this somehow all seem worthwhile? How on earth did I get so jaded? Lifes mystery seems so faded....   Here I am just drownin in the rain   To Brittany... What Hurts The Most Rascal Flatts I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don’t bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while Even though going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok But that’s not what gets me What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin’ to do It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go But I’m doin’ It It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do Not seeing that loving you That’s what I was trying to do   I have noticed how much we did together lately. I remember so many memories with you, and you said this would work, and we would talk all the time, but we don't. I miss you. I miss everything. I miss my best friend. You know everything about me, and completely understand it, because you have been through the same thing. Now we are sooo distant, and I miss you. I miss Ty-Ty and it's going down, I miss late night talks, I miss movies even though we were quiet, Bryce hot wiring your car, you singing all scratchy voice like, Our song....gold digger, and our push up dance, holding you when you cried, water fights in your living room....mom yelling about her tv, and your dad telling me to put surup in my bottle, parties, frantic searches for you, you jumpin on me, and always beatin me up, home videos of you singing and your brother video taping, late night talks about guys, me ripping my jeans, you lettin me wear yours, the screams of everytime we saw each other, the plans we made for my countdown, the day they were mashed...I miss you.... I miss you... Hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong, hold me when I'm scared, love me when I'm gone, Everything I am and everything in me, wants to be the one you wanted me to be, I'll never let you down, even if I could I'ld give up everything, if only for your good, so hold me when I'm here hold me when I'm scared, you wont always be there so love me when I'm gone... 10:41 PM - 14 eprops - 11 comments - email it Next 5 >>

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