I may seem like a really depressed person from my posts but I'm really not. I'm a surprisingly happy and content person actually. It just that the only time I'm in the mood to update this thing, I'm in a really bad mood.

 I was just watching E! and there was that show "The fabulous life of..." on and it was doing the Hilton sisters. And I realized that Paris Hiltons life must really suck... Sure she's rich, popular, and beautiful. But everything about her is so...fake. It's like she's a doll or something. For example, her appearance: Her eyes aren’t really blue, their colored contacts. Her real eye color is hazel or something. She also has hair extensions. Plus I doubt that’s her real hair color, but I'm not certain of that...it's just a hunch. And all that expensive makeup and clothing...it just seems like way too much upkeep to me. And then there’s all the events she has to go to...ugh. I once read something in a magazine that shows an average day in her life. And I was like OH MY GOD! When does she have any time just for herself?? I mean, I spend most of my day by myself reading, watching tv, homework etc. I cant even imagine an entire day of nonstop moving, noise and action...It may just be me though. Not everyone lives on a farm with no life or transportation. I even know someone sort of like her, a certain person whose name starts with an M and ends with an eredith. But even SHE has SOME time alone. Example, all the freekin books she reads! God that girl is like a library index or something...I haven’t actually been to a library in years so maybe thats not really the best analogy...I'm not really even sure what a library index is but I think theres such a thing...Anyways, I dunno, I may have a totally wrong impression of her but I'm sure there are people out there like what I think she's like...if that makes any sense. And I think that’s really...sad. Haha woah, I just pictured a bunch of peoples ractions to reading this. (some havent even seen my xanga) I'm imagining Sundie like "yeah Sita...whatever you say" (mockingly) And Kurt like "whats wrong with you? Are you cracking smoke??" and I can see my dad lecturing me about how important meditation is for the mind and body. (While he corrects all my gramer and punctuation errors) Wow I've gotten waaaay too little sleep...I think I'm starting to hallucinate...or it could be because of all the nail polish fumes I'm inhaling cause I'm too lazy to get up and open the window. Eh, I'll do it when my toes are dry. My mom would kill me if she knew I was painting my nails inside the house again...she hates the smell. Ok, I'm going to bed now. I got absolutely NO sleep at all last night...damn full moon. (Sundie would get it) I'm not actually sure if it was a full moon though...I'll have to check. You can tell when I'm tired cause I start rambling. Sundie, remember that one night I spent at your house where I lectured you on the right way to say goodnight? Yeah that was an example of me on a tired rambling streek. Thank you for humoring me though. It was nice. Remember I was like “lower your voice at the end of ‘night’ and dont say it too quick. Extra point if you can say it while you yawn.” God we were practicing that for like 45 min...The rule was that "goodnight" would always be the last thing we say before we fall asleep. And if we had anything more to say after we had said goodnight, we would have to say goodnight afterwards again. But whenever you said it wrong I would be like "noooo you have to do it like this..." and we would have to start all over again. And whenever you said it right I would be like "omg Sundie I just have to say, that was absolutely the BEST goodnight ever" and we'd have to start all over again...again. That was really fun. OMG I’m rambling again! I'm going to bed for real now. Goodnight!

~Sita the sleepy one...

I'm scared...now that I've started working out, what if my boobs get smaller? I'm not sure if I’d be happy or sad...It's like I dont like them the size they are now, but I wouldn’t really want them to go down either...It reminds me of when I was like 11 or 12 and my dad was showing his friend/girlfriend the insane amount of miles he had on his (then) car. There was like a couple hundred thousand on it. I was confused and I didnt get what the big deal was. I asked him if having that much was good, and he told me, "It's not really good or bad...it's just amazing." Thats how I feel about my boobs. I dont really like them and I dont really dislike them. It just kinda...amazes me. I mean, how many 15 year olds can say that they where a size 34 DD bra?? Not a lot I bet. So I'm a little hesitant...Rachey, Sundie, (my only, but faithful readers) what do you think? It may just be from lack of sleep last night and no sleep today that I'm thinking about this. I may come to my senses later and completely delete this post...who knows…we'll see. But I'd like to know your opinions. Love ya both lots!

~Sita

 I remember the first time I ever saw Travis Fimmel. I was flipping through a teen magazine, and one of his adds popped up. When I saw his picture the first thing I thought was, ew look at his armpit hair...(I was like 12 at the time and I didn’t really understand that guys didnt need to shave theirs) But I kept staring at him and I decided that he must be some snobby rich model who thinks he’s better than everyone else. So I went on to bigger and better pages and totally forgot about him. The second time I saw him was when I was waiting in line at Right Aid. I was with Rachel and we were buying something random like pads or razors or something. I was looking for an Archie magazine when I spotted a TV Guide with a half naked guy on the cover, I was kinda embarrassed and looked away. I remember he was sort of like the sun, it was almost painful to look at him. I think Rachel said something about seeing him before in person, and that he was even hotter in real life. I thought that was pretty impossible, but I didn’t question her. I never connected the guy from the teen magazine to the guy on the cover of TV Guide, I wasn’t obsessed with him at the time, so I didn’t really give much thought to either of them. It wasn’t until the series finally of Tarzan that I even looked into Travis and found out all about him. That’s when I found the pic that I had seen in the teen magazine and the TV Guide cover. Ever since then, I’ve been collecting pictures and interviews of him on my computer. I’ve got quite the collection now, and I cant wait till he starts another project so that I’ll be able to get more. But for now I’ll have to be content with the 500 and some odd pics that I have now. Yeah, he’s done a LOT of modeling. Maybe my fascination/obsession with him will end some day…I doubt it but hey, you never know. Just thought that you might like to know how it all got started. Hope your happy.

~Sita

Hello people, I'm back! I never really went anywhere...but I felt like I needed some excuse for not updating in so long. Anyways, I've been sort of depressed these last few days. There are a couple of reasons for it though, their really kinda stupid but I feel like talking about them anyway. (they are all because of movies I realize now...) Ok, last night I watched the movie "Dracula 2000," and it made me think. Why cant this kinda stuff ever happen to me?? Why do I have to sit around on a farm, milking goats and talking to chickens? Why cant I be the spawn of Dracula? Why cant some really hot Vampire who looks remarkably like Gerard Butler, come back to life and chase me around trying to make me his vampire bride?? Damn it...nothing ever happens to me. Oh! And then this morning while cleaning my room, I watched the movie "Timeline". And thats when I realized...I cant stop time. It just keeps going and going, and even if I cant take it anymore and I need a break or need it to slow down a bit, it wont ever stop. Someday I'll be 27..and then maybe even 90. I'll never be able to be 15 again or 14, or 13, or 12...This is my ONLY chance and I'm wasting it, sitting around in my room cleaning. And as I was pondering this, (on the verge of tears) my mom walks in and sees that I've made absolutely NO progress on my room and starts yelling at me...it really sucked. There are a couple more reasons for my depression but thinking about this is starting to make me even more depressed. So I'm gonna stop. Now it is very possible, that the reason why I feel this way and have been thinking about this stuff, COULD be because I'm on my period...that would also explain why I just ate a half a pint of ice cream, and why I've been watching sappy romance movies lately...Yup thats it. Damn these hormones! I just want to go through menopause and get it over with... Well I better go, theres another half a pint of ice cream in the freezer thats calling to me. Adios amigoses!

~Sita, the amazing mopey and depressed girl

Ok, I'm bored so I'm doing one of those annoying little surveys...enjoy!

Name: Sita
Screen Name: Goddess_Sita
Birthday: 6-13-89
Age: 15
Astrological sign: Gemini...I think
Location: Aromas
Sexual Preference: straight
Religion: kinda in-between...but technically Jewish
Eye color: blueish-greenish-yellowish mix
Height: 5'7"
Parents still together?: Nope
Siblings: more than I can count...or remember
Nieces/Nephews: a couple
Kids of your own: haha riiight
Grandkids: someday hopefully
Pets: Goats, chickens, and cats
In school/graduated: high school
Have any credit cards: I wish...

Favorites

Color: that really pretty green that you see when you cut open a kiwi
Number: 3!
Animal: please dont make me choose
Scent: baked apples
Shape: circle?
Book: this really sweet childrens book my dad made me when I was like 3
Band: too many bands and too little room
Song: ditto ^
Movie: Pitch Black! (dont ask me why...)

Do you...

Color your hair?: yes...too much
Have tattoos?: some day
Piercings?: ears
Cheat on tests/homework?: no NEVER...
Drink/Smoke?: drink on Shabbat
Like roller coasters?: YES
Wish you could live somewhere else?: YYYYYEEEESSSS!!!!!!
Want more piercings?: um not really
Like cleaning?: NO!
Write in cursive or print?: kinda in-between
Own a web cam?: no..
Own a cell phone?: yes
Hablar Espanol?: hoodie whatie?

Have you ever...

Gotten a speeding ticket?: it's a really funny story actually...
DUI?: I cant even drive!
Kicked someone in the nuts?: I think my brother once...maybe that was Rachel
Stolen anything?: nope
Held a gun?: yup, even got to shoot it

Considered being a hooker?: no way
Been married?: only in my dreams... *sigh*
Cried over a girl?: not that I can remember
Cried over a boy?: NO
Lied to someone?: oh yeah, I'm the queen. Ask anyone
Been in love?: who knows
Fallen for your best friend?: nope...well yeah but I was like 4
Been in lust?: oh yeah
Used someone?: no
Been used?: not sure
Been kissed?: a lady never kisses and tells

Now

Current mood: tired...its 1:20am
Current music: does the sound of the heater count?
Current taste: Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ben & Jerry's ice cream
Current hair: a little messy...havent brushed it in a while
Current annoyance: my thumb cause I just ripped off a hang nail!
Current smell: Burt’s Bees chap stick (on my lips)
Current thing I ought to be doing: sleeping
Current windows open: 0
Current desktop picture: Travis Fimmel!

Current book: I'm reading a lot at the moment
Current cds in stereo: too lazy to look
Current hate: apples cause the damn things never core right! They always come out crooked...


Do you

Do drugs?: Tylenol?
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: YES! It's driving me crazy
Play an instrument?: no...
Believe there is life on other planets?: probably
Read the newspaper?: nope
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yeah
Believe in miracles?: um...sure why not
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: sure...for other people
Have a favorite candy?: no way, too many to choose from
Believe in astrology?: a little
Believe in magic?: in a way...not magic but chi
Believe in god?: no
Do well in school?: average
Go to or plan to go to college: hopefully
Wear hats?: my heads to big...seriously!
Hate yourself?: no way
Have an obsession?: YES
Do they know yet?: if I ever meet them they sure as hell will!
Collect anything?: lots
Have a best friend?: yup
Close friends?: yeah
Like your handwriting?: eh
Care about looks?: my own or other? Cause I hate when people where plaid...grr. Plaid is evil dont ever wear it. But most days I dont really care what I look like.
Believe in love at first sight?: I guess it could happen
Believe in "the one?": possibly

Well I'm off to bed...night all!

~Sita The Great